People who have never experienced being in family court

[SavanahXx]

It really does my head in when people side with social services. They have an opinion that "they are just doing what's best for the child". These people that have the opinion mostly have never even had involvement with SS, therefore don't see the lies and manipulation of a situation that they use.

It's easy for them to say that a parent 'could pose a risk' but do you know how hard it is to prove you wouldn't?

I seen an utterly revolting article that really baffled me. Social workers manage to get away with this stuff daily. Yet its not reported as it should be. This child was removed, with a judges permission. Then placed back with the mother by another judge.
There is so much corruption in our society and it needs to change.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/06/13/social-worker-criticised-child-taken-away-mother-refused-give/amp/

TheVoice, I knew you were a SW as soon as you told OP to walk away from her own thread. There you have it folks, typical controlling behaviour. This is what it's like when they "support" your family. Except there is no support, the barrister confirmed removal is being used instead!

Over and out. OP I’m struggling with your childish comments and lack of insight. I had hoped for ‘healthy debates and conversations’ I hope you get the support you need

@Thevoice2019 thank you for the amazing work you do

Social workers rant and rave about controlling and coercive behaviour. But do you think they realise they use all the same tactics. They control what you do, where you go, who you see they scare you 24/7 into doing what they want. Hmm

No it does not 'stand to reason' reports will contain lies and they don't. Sloppy analysis maybe. Lies - very rare. I know of handful of cases in 20 years.

And every country in Europe has legal mechanism for forced adoption. We are however the ones who use it way more than any others so something odd is going on.

How do they remove the children instead of giving support then Spero? By writing good parenting reports? You do recognise you're not making sense don't you?

Goodbye clarissa. Oh sorry, thought you said you said you were leaving?

How do they remove the children instead of giving support then Spero?

If a child is in a high risk situation that could possibly be mitigated by high level, intensive support, but that support is not available locally (or at all) then the child remains in a high risk situation. The child’s safety is paramount, so sometimes- in a limited number of cases - removal is the only way to mitigate the risk to the child.

SmileEachDay re parents declining offers of help. Please Google - www.aims.org.uk/journal/item/child-protection. Letter from AIMS (association for improvements in maternity services) to Chief Medical Office. "Adverse Effects of Child Protection on Public Health." Explains why parents are too afraid to accept help. Interestingly, this was before Baby P.

While it is very frustrating that many professions seem to struggle to remove certain harmful people, I think the idea that treated social services as one homogenous lump is as unhelpful as blaming all medical professionals or the NHS as a whole because some medical professionals perpetuate medical abuse and neglect. The majority of SW or HCPs have absolutely no ability to fire or otherwise prevent their most of colleagues from fucking up and telling lies, we are all limited by the information we have.

Having experienced medical abuse and the lying & circling around and report gaps that can happen, I have a lot of recommendations for those that have concerns, but avoiding medical care is not one of them. Same with SS, as an adult I've had conversations with them since before my oldest was born, but avoiding has never helped and scaremongering people about either would not do anyone any good.

I think the idea of horrible things never happening again either within or outside of the system as a benchmark is an unattainable, just as much as the idea that we can somehow make sure no parents are abusive - systems and people are inherently flawed. Just like SW or HCP who abuse their power and manipulate people, there are parents who do the same, but none of them are representations of the whole. Just as having a mother who tried to kill me and convinced police I was just being dramatic is not representative of mothers and neither the HCP who sexually assaulted me or the other who lied when I was being rolled into be prepped for the OR because she had fucked up is not representative of the medical profession, the SWs who fuck up horrible are not representative of the whole. Most of the people in this thread, like myself, who have had dealt with SS as parents have had reasonable outcomes. I never assume anyone is 'doing their best', but - at least with treatment for my PTSD - I never assume a random professional is out to harm me either.

auntethel

I read the AIMS article and posted my thoughts earlier.

Thanks for this thread SavanahXx Cathartic

Great post BiBabbles.

The child's needs are paramount They said this whilst keeping our two away from each other for a year. They said this whilst telling DS foster carers that he had no special needs, needed no supervision outdoors and whilst he injured every child in the neighbourhood, including foster carers daughter. They said this whilst denying there were any specialist allergy reports and allowing foster carers to give him the very foods he was allergic too.

You're so welcome@auntethel you should search families destroyed by the state. They are such a good group. All have been through horrible thing with SS and out their lies.

And what isn't lying when it's told "this person has been abused therefore could pose a risk to her child" utter bollocks.
I supposedly lied about searching for a property even though I had proof I had... They still used it as evidence. They also said i lied about previous SS involvement to the midwife. Again it was in my green notes. They still used that too.
Please tell me again how they don't lie?

The real problem here is austerity.

Local authorities are on their knees and many are barely able to meet their statutory duties, let alone invest in decent services for families who just need support. So the problems in those families escalate and here we are.

I’ve had both good and bad experiences with SS. But on the whole, good.

The first SW who came after I self referred for help (twins just out of NICU, daughter on Oxygen and overwhelmed Mum - me of course) was what i term an ‘attack dog’ she came with another trainee colleague and laid into me, badly. I felt I was being verbally attacked in my own home. But in retrospect I understand, whilst poorly handled, she probably did that to see just how I could handle the pressure of her behaviour. It was a bad decision made to an already distressed person - but I think she has been in her job so long and seen some pretty horrific things, that changes people.

She left me with a huge list of things she wanted changing within the box of a flat we lived in and gave me three days to make those changes - and dammit if I didn’t do every single one of them and then some, because I was desperate for them to see that my children come first, always.

She admitted on her return she was impressed and didn’t think I’d manage to do it, but as I had shown my complete willingness to do what was right by my twins she softened. She helped me from that day onwards with a few serious situations that could have landed me in trouble (one incompetent HV reporting one thing to SS and something else entirely to me). This HV claimed to the SS my DS was having breathing difficulties and that I was to take him to the GP ASAP. When I hadn’t by the end of that day my SW turned up at 8pm to question why I hadn’t - she was worried for him. I showed her the notes in his red book, all the HV had written was his feeding was still irregular and weight was going up but slowly and to make an appointment THAT WEEK not that day. She checked with his GP and was told I had made this appointment for the Friday.

I was a closed case by the end of that month. They had a hard approach and scared the shit out of me. But they saw from their visits I was not a risk, no MH issues (HV had also reported she was concerned I had PND...) and was happy to sign me off so to speak. So not all cases are black and white.

Maybe you should train to be a social worker and change the system from the inside. Be a force for change seeing as you clearly know better already without even working for them.

Smile, Ah yes The AIMS article is an unsubstantiated opinion piece presented as fact. Exactly like SW reports then?

And I've already said. It could be a false allegation that puts you on their radar and if the allegation is worrying enough for them, you go straight to court and they get a removal order. Then a parent spends the next six months away from their child, proving the allegation was fake.

Jesus. Seriously do you really believe this?

Allegations without proof are just that. If an allegation is made then an assessment is completed and then a lot of things have to happen including a lot of meetings which coordinate some very difficult things.

Social workers in children's do not have time to make up stories and are under incredible scrutiny.

And I have seen the inner workings and no I am not a social worker. I have no agenda or side to take. I've recommended children be removed and recommended they stay. I regularly have to give opinions in a professional capacity.

Or are all people from all professionals in on this grand conspiring to ruin parents who are perfectly fine parents? cause removal orders usually involve reports from childcare agencies, CAFCASS, doctors, health visitors, anyone involved with the child basically.

Of course some social workers are shit. So are some doctors but it's not a conspiracy to kill everyone through misdiagnosis, some teachers are shit but it's not a profession wide conspiracy to make people dumber. It's just a few shit people in positions of power. Check the United States leadership for reference.

@beccarocksbaby I'm not to sure whether that was sarcastic or not haha 😂😂

I read your other post. So definitely sarcastic haha. I've already posted the lies they told about me. So yeah they clearly make the time

Historically and internationally we recognise that some children are willfully deprived of their parents by the state.

We have

• the stolen generations in Canada, Australia, New Zealand
• the children that were sent to Australia despite their families
• the children that were stolen in Franco's Spain
• the children that were stolen for the Lebensborn (which is where the phrase "in the best interests of the children" comes from)
• the Mothers of Plaza de Mayo in Argentina
• the Magdalene Laundries of Ireland

Right now we have

• the continuation of the Stolen Generations despite the prior apologies
• the border separations in the US where child imprisonment is used as a pressure tactic for parents.

The separation of children from their mothers needs to be seen in that historical and international context. Most mothers are imperfect, but separating a child from their parents unless at imminent risk is incredibly harmful for a child in the longer term and the UK does this on a regular basis often on flimsy pretexts.

The level of forced adoption in the UK will be seen as a scandal in years to come.

SavanahXx, you can tell who the SW's are. Not only do they show no compassion or interest in real life experiences where children have been damaged by the system but also they have to resort to insults such as conspiracy theorists.

Until you have seen a case in which removal was easy, please don't say it is. I've seen first hand with people I know that removal is easy. I've seen court papers that have been lies. That have been manipulated.

Presumably you mean "don't say it isnt" - I have been involved in a case where removal was easy, very easy. Took less than 48 hours. It depends on your definition of easy though really because this was the case of a parent having sex with his 8 year old daughter and caught in bed with her. By a HCP.

It took 6 meetings and begging the court for a hearing for it to be that "easy" though.

Maybe gain some perspective. You've seen the END RESULT of investigations, you've seen the perspective the parents have presented you, and you've seen 0.00000001% of cases that year.

That's nothing to base an opinion about a whole system and everyone who works in it.