To not give birth through the NHS?

[HereOrThereAndAnywhere]

With all the news stories of poor NHS maternity care and not good outcomes, I'm wondering if it would be worth it to give birth in another country. Is that a bad idea? Was your birth experience (if you had one in the last couple years) ok?

For voting purposes

YABU = Maternity care is perfect and there's nothing to worry about
YANBU = Maternity care has really gone downhill so I would try to figure out another way to give birth either privately or abroad

It was nearly 4 years ago for me, but I couldn't have asked for more when I have birth to ds on the NHS. It was amazing from start to finish. I was dreadful and pathetic, but the maternity ward, all the staff etc were brilliant! This was as Salisbury Maternity (Beatrice Ward) in Wiltshire.

To add, I was on the postnatal ward for about 18hrs after and that was great too.

My NHS maternity care was excellent! I spent 5 nights in the hospital after my son was born, the treatment and care I received was wonderful, the nurses were so polite and caring, popping in every few hours to ask if I was okay or needed anything, they'd

Based on my experiences - YABU

My antenatal care and delivery were excellent.

Post natal was not good. Not as horrendous as some people have it but in hindsight not great.

I voted YABU not because I think the NHS is ‘perfect’ but because I don’t really believe you could guarantee better care anywhere else and throw in a language/culture issue it could be very stressful indeed.

If money is no object a private London hospital would be lovely. But nobody ‘needs’ this (however nice it is!) and it isn’t a guarantee of perfection.

@pennypineapple
Have you read This is Going to Hurt?

I’d highly recommend it, especially the few pages about going private for childbirth.

Sorry I pressed post by accident and we're not allowed to delete or edit posts on this site for some reason. As I was saying they'd ensure me and my son were happy at all times, we got our own room which I know is a luxury and many women are put on a ward with 6 others only separated by a curtain so I'm extremely thankful.

The doctors, nurses and midwives were so professional, they never made me feel I was bothering them when I'd repeatedly ask if I was doing things correctly (first time mum here).

You can't guarantee you'll get great care even going private, you could pay £50'000 for a private birth experience but if the consultant is having a bad day or they have an emergency, you may be pushed aside or not get the birth you wanted.

I'm probably just hormonal and have worried myself over too many YouTube birth stories... But I can't imagine being cut and stitched without pain relief 😨

I just can't get my head round thinking this is a viable option. Your antenatal care will be carried out in the UK presumably- what are you going to do with the notes? Pay for them for be translated? You mention this is a VBAC- do you have an older child? It would be tough on them not only getting used to a new sibling but also being away from home and (presumably) extended family and their normal routine for several months. You will also need support and familiar surroundings, and you might find that an Airbnb just doesn't cut it. And that's before you even think about the logistics of packing up your life again with a newborn and getting baby a passport and back home in the post-Brexit unknown. That could be much, much more complex than you anticipate.

Also don't confuse "private" with "better". A friend of a friend was doing charity work in Poland two weeks ago, fell playing football with the kids and broke the neck of his femur. He had good travel insurance and so was transferred to a private hospital in Warsaw, said to be the place to go. The doctors spoke a decent standard of English but the nurses didn't, so he was pretty much alone with no company/interaction or information apart from the doctors' rounds. Then when he did get home, the NHS doctors concluded that the surgical repair done in Poland was inadequate and the whole joint needed replaced anyway.

I'd put the money towards a doula, private midwife or a consultant. That might give you the reassurance you need, especially in labour when you really want someone who knows their stuff to be present and vouching for you.

I gave birth privately in London with my first DC and I will again the next few weeks. It’s only the Portland that is not attached to an NHS Hospital so I didn’t go there. The Lindo and Kensington Wings are private wards within NHS hospitals. With the latter, the NICU unit is only separated by a door within the wing.

My first birth had a one to one midwife, on call anaesthetist dedicated to the wing and Consultant to deliver unless you prefer a midwife. It’s the post natal bit with private room, more decent food and bed for your partner that steps it apart from typical NHS care. Is that worth £10-£12k? Only you can decide that.

You won’t notice. When the perineum stretches it becomes numb. Mother Nature’s very clever.

@HereOrThereAndAnywhere OP I hope this post will find you well. Yes you can go and pay for private birth, however, the problem comes with the history of pregnancy. You have different scans and blood tests at different stages of pregnancy in EE. My pregnancy was a high risk and from 35 weeks was having daily CTG. I opted out travelling to other country as it was too high risk of blood clots.

Have had 2 babies. One in 2017 and one in 2019. I had absolutely amazing care from midwives, doctors, auxiliaries and all other staff. Both my births were far from straightforward. I honestly cannot fault the NHS.

I really think it depends where you are in the UK. I would say go and see the possible hospitals and meet the staff and see how you feel.

I’ve done 2 NHS, 1 private. It was like night and day. Private was how giving birth should be for all women - 1-2-1 midwife care, epidural and pain relief absolutely on demand, expert stitching repairing the absolute hatchet job the NHS registrar had done previously. Private room, breastfeeding support on demand. Worth every single penny. NHS can be fine if they’re not stretched, I paid for the guarantee that I wouldn’t catch them on a busy shift. NHS has its place but I don’t think that the maternity care is anything to be particularly proud of and I work in the area

I had a really tough, long, and fairly complex labour. I found the staff amazing. Right up to the point of post-natal 'care' as that was non existent

Uh huh, all good in theory OP.
Just cross your fingers and your toes that you don't suffer a premature birth like so many of us have. You don't get a warning to book your plane tickets a few days before.
But I'm sure the good old NHS will be good enough then eh?!

I recently had my daughter at St James Hospital in Leeds and I'd say the care we received from start (extra scans etc due to previous losses as well as the standard antenatal care) to finish was excellent. Can't fault the NHS experience we had there.

We paid for a private post natal room which was worth it but not more expensive than a hotel.

I paid for private antenatal care.
where I'm from we have no private maternity hospital so although your care is private your consultant is just on shift the day you give birth in an NHS maternity hospital.

The benefits were I got scanned every month and then every 2/3 weeks from 30 weeks.

The consultant was there at delivery and came to see us after and said to tell a midwife we wanted to see him if we needed to from that point on.

To be honest I was glad I did. The midwife seen me and another girl on the ward (both just had c sections) for 5 minutes we seen no one for 6 hours after this and the next midwife we seen was at 4am who shouted from outside the ward are you ok in there your midwife has had to go to delivery suite so you are on your own.

The poor midwives are so stretched it wasn't their fault but I had the benefit of being able to call on the consultant had I needed to.

My experience was fantastic all the way through my pregnancy. I had to be induced at 38 weeks due to obstetric choleostasis, all the midwives were fantastic. Yes the NHS is overstretched but they were there for me when I needed them, especially during the delivery as I overstimulated to the pessary and my contractions came on thick and fast.... Gave birth to my first child in a very short time frame! If I get pregnant again I won't hesitate to go back with the NHS, all the midwives I dealt with wanted to be there and genuinely cared for us and took an interest, I'd rather have that than pay to go abroad or pay extortionate money for private care.

You haven’t answered my question about whether you can afford neonatal intensive care if it is required? But, given that the reason you have given for going abroad is that it would be cheaper than private healthcare in the UK, it seems likely that you cannot. In which case, this plan is going nowhere.

There is no point in extrapolating cheaper private care abroad from stories of nice, private perinatal care in the UK because that has the safety net that you and the baby remain entitled to NHS care. And the NHS is where you or baby go if there are significant complications; the NHS won’t present you with a bill for tens or hundreds of thousands of pounds for rescuing you.

There is also no point in listening to stories of better births in The Netherlands or any other country, because the people telling them were resident there and either entitled to, or insured for, whatever emergency and ongoing care that may have been required. You won’t be.

Oh, I just spotted that this is a VBAC. if you have a scar rupture, both you and the baby will need intensive care. If you have the sort of wealth that can pay for that, you would have no need to be thinking about saving a few grand by going abroad.

Also just seen you are looking at a vbac. I just had an amazing nhs vbac. I was given local anesthetic for my cut - didn’t feel anything. My stitches were done under general anaesthetic as I needed emergency surgery for retained placenta, apparently more common in vbacs.

Honestly my ‘bits’ are nearly fine two weeks later and recovery is nothing compared to my EMCS.

I only got the birth I wanted due to a series of professional midwife advocates and a professional development midwife. If it down to a consultant it would have been an Elcs. Don’t assume a consultant will be the route to the birth you want.

If the private hospitals had neonatal & high dependency availability & I could have another child, i would go private in a heartbeat. I have had several operations in private hospitals & the care i got beat the NHS by miles. Everything happened when it was supposed to, no getting bumped off lists, the nursing care was brilliant. There was no sitting around all day on the off chance a doctor may come & see you, pain relief was only a buzz away if you needed more, the facilities were so clean, staff had time to look after you properly, it didn't feel like being in hospital. If private maternity care could be made like that nationwide, I'm sure they wouldn't have problems filling the beds.

I had to move abroad when 4 months pregnant: it wasn’t easy to even find someone to take me on being “so advanced” so be careful thinking you can waltz in for a few appointments and a delivery (I did as thought private meant they would do whatever).