To not give birth through the NHS?

[HereOrThereAndAnywhere]

With all the news stories of poor NHS maternity care and not good outcomes, I'm wondering if it would be worth it to give birth in another country. Is that a bad idea? Was your birth experience (if you had one in the last couple years) ok?

For voting purposes

YABU = Maternity care is perfect and there's nothing to worry about
YANBU = Maternity care has really gone downhill so I would try to figure out another way to give birth either privately or abroad

The standard of care on the NHS is very high.

I’ve had one child in another EU country. It was fine but not better.

Research your local birthing unit. Go visit it. Look it up online. Ask about the staffing.

Whatever you do, do NOT go to the US. They are way worse AND the average no complications birth will run you over £30k.

For question about travelling with infants...I flew with one when they were 8 weeks old.

Have you considered a home birth?. Pay for a private midwife and a doula, a cleaner to keep the place spotless and someone to come in and cook meals for you. Would be much cheaper and minimal risk of picking up infection etc.

Its the preferred option for many people.

Of course in an emergency you would be whisked into hospital otherwise you just get on with it yourself.

I think it probably varies depending on where in the UK you are

From my experience, the NHS is amazing when it comes to medical side of things, life saving equipment and the like. Essential and very good. Very thankful for that.

However when it comes to the emotional support side if things, which is also essential, it was basically non existent.
For example in my pregnancy I had a different midwife every visit. They don't tell you in any depth what to expect or help you with a birth plan, and overall seem extremely rushed.

So I would say use NHS medical care but get a doula also, if you can. They can support you through the emotions and inform you if options in a way the NHS won't, but the NHS will be there if there is an emergency and for medical checkups

I think you can have bad and good birth experiences all over the world. But I think you should stick to the system you know, as this feels "normal" and "safe" , add the language barrier and the fact that we do things differently in other countries, which might add to feeling insecure - a feeling you do not need when giving birth.

I have given birth in another country (being at home there) twice:
I checked in with my gyn and my midwife, went for my check ups and scans and then decided to give birth in a midwife center as I do not like hospitals (this desicion cost me 300 DM as this was not covered - hospital would have been). I had to register at my neareast hospital with a NICU unit so they were prepared in case of emergeny, though.
Went in when labour started, had my baby, was excellently stiched up, and had a lovely spread of Indian goodies afterwards for me, DH, and the midwives. Then I went home to my own bed and bathroom.
Midwives came for the usual home visits and I took my postnatal physio classes with them, too.
By choice I had no pain relief - and we do not use gas and air ( I had to google that and now I get hospital ads).

My birth was traumatic and the nhs staff were fantastic, cannot explain how wonderful they ALL were, down to the student Midwife's! Although it was an emergency I was made to feel somewhat at ease and cared for.

It would cost you thousands to move ( do you mean permanently??) and live in a foreign county for a couple of months and give birth in private hospital , then you would Have to get a passport and In some countries the paperwork is slow so you might be stuck out their for months
I’m going to put this crazy talk down to hormones... I gave birth in a failing hospital had excellent in labour treatment can’t praise my midwife high enough

If something goes seriously wrong in a private hospital, guess where they send you?

I couldn’t contemplate giving birth far away from my home. The urge to be at home both in the run up to the birth and straight after was huge. I wouldn’t want to be in an Airbnb miles away from home. Being away from my extended support network too wouldn’t be great. For me family and friends were a huge help, especially with my 2nd baby.

The NHS were good to me for both of my births - one slightly more complicated, one easy.

It's a personal choice...I'm very grateful to the NHS however if I could afford it I would go private because the after care following a c section was not very good.

Well my ds was born early, I had pre eclampsia and got very very ill all of a sudden. I absolutely could not fault the NHS care we both received and feel very lucky to live in this country. It may be imperfect but it's still amazing.

I have pretty severe birth trauma following the birth of my twins nearly three years ago.

However, I’d have far worse trauma if it hadn’t been for the verh swift decisive actions of the NHS staff that day because at least one of my children would be dead.

Nothing about my experience was ideal or as you’d want it. I had an emergency c section, my spinal went very wrong, both my children were taken away immediately and I didn’t get to see them until the following morning. But my NHS midwife who visited me at home identified the fact that something was not right despite my symptoms being non specific. She arranged for me to be seen at the hospital very quickly. Within 15 minutes of arriving they knew something wasn’t right.

They got IVs into me, they scanned me, and within 2 hours of arriving I was in theatre.

Moreover, I thank my lucky stars for the NHS every time I consider the two months one twin spent in NICU (and the two weeks his twin spent there), then the 11 nights in HDU a few weeks later, the five specialists he now sees, the multiple tests he’s had including inpatient testing, MRIs under general anaesthetic, expensive genetic testing...

Without the NHS we would be bankrupt. The thought of something like this happening while paying privately abroad terrifies me beyond belief.

I gave birth to DC this year (my first) on the NHS and had an amazing experience. I had a lovely midwife who stayed with me right until the end , even though her shift was over.

My friend had a elcs by choice (no medical reason) privately in the UK and couldn't be happier. Why not, if you can afford it? She had amazing care before and during the birth.

I was terrified of being left alone on an understaffed NHS ward so we hired a private midwife. Was great having the extra support but we would have been absolutely fine without. We had excellent NHS maternity care throughout.

I should add, I work as a Maternity Voices representative for my county. I hear feedback all the time, good and bad.

Paying privately doesn’t necessarily mean a better birth experience - there are good and bad midwives everywhere. The NHS is stretched especially in obstetric units and especially if you’re low risk in an obstetric unit. But I can say that if you’re low risk and willing to forego an epidural it’s definitely worth considering a midwife led unit or homebirth.

I have terrible tokophobia and wanted a planned cs. If I had another I would probably want a water birth in an alongside midwife-led unit.

I had a home birth in a birthing pool in my living room, in the Uk NHS, I had 3 midwives turn up, it was such a lovely experience, the best care I could ever have wished for, my midwife was like a friend popping round for a cup of tea, I got up the next day and life carried as normal but with an extra person in the house. We are so lucky in the UK to have the NHS.

You’ll never get an accurate representation of the average birth experience on these threads- people who had an ok experience, so neither exceptional or terrible (ie the vast majority), simply don’t comment. You’ll understandly get posters who had the most amazing birth ever and/or who owe their babies lives to the NHS, or those who have been traumatised by their experience, but very few people who say “yeah, it was grand.”.

@WhatTiggersDoBest just to say if you’re heading to the Ulster Hospital in Belfast- they are fantastic both ante and postnatally.

If you speak the language and are comfortable in the other country then yes this could work.

However (even though I have family and friends in some of the 'safer' countries) I'd still prefer to stay here. I have had a previous good birth experience in an NHS hospital and have been getting good ante natal care this time too. Looking at a possible home birth this time.

My UK and non UK family are still shocked at how little time we spent in hospital with our first (15hrs) - our choice - but what's the point of being in a hospital bed when you could be comfortable at home? And that's why we're not going to go somewhere else. I will want to take our baby home - to their home - not to a strange place.

Birth is so emotional and fundamental, for me it would feel wrong not to be at home.

I considered going private for my first but my GP pointed out that if anything went wrong, I’d end up in an NHS hospital anyway. In the event, the midwives and nurses were utterly amazing. My midwife stayed after her shift to see the baby born. Nurse went I went to surgery held my hand and fought for me the whole time. I wish I’d been less out of it to thank her properly. I had a less positive experience when I was sent to surgery - just found the doctors very unprofessional. They had a 10 minute argument about whose beeper went off first and then another argument about who should get rid of the fly in the room - all of which while I was lying bleeding on a gurney watching them. This was the Whittington hospital in north London.

Second birth was abroad and private because that was the only option. My doctor was amazing, and the support staff were ... professional. I didn’t feel they cared in the same way as the NHS midwives did, but they got all the shit done that was needed.

So, I guess if I had the ideal situation I’d have my NHS midwife and my abroad doctor

I still birthed in England, but didn't have midwives in attendance. Simplest way by far for our circumstances.

I've experienced private fertility health care here. It was an awful experience with a doctor who didnt take time to explain things properly and pushed lots of invasive procedures and tests it turns out i didnt need. I was persuaded to spend £5k on investigations.

A week later I broke down in tears while having my NHS smear test over what I'd been told by the private doctor. The lovely nurse took time to listen to me, made me an appointment with my gp who was brilliant and took time to refer me to the hospital which she thought would deal best with my particular issue. The consultant was also brilliant. Now 35 weeks pregnant with my second. Have had 10 scans on the NHS and daily injections, which will have cost a lot. I've had numerous appointments with consultants and have spent less time in waiting rooms than I did when private. I am so grateful to the NHS. I know there have been failings with maternity care but the care I have received has been exceptional.

If you do choose to go abroad you will need to have plans as to how to manage if there are unexpected complications. For example, how will you pay for extra care should you become you or your baby become unwell/have a complicated delivery? Because it may well not be free if you are abroad- and nicu or HDU for you will not be cheap (god forbid, but you don’t want to be in that situation without a plan and know you have the funds to cover). Or what if you or baby not fit to travel home for an extended period? Where will you stay? what about paying for the ongoing routine care? Can you afford it?

If you really can afford it- even if it goes wrong and you need intensive or extended care/cannot return home for a while- then make sure you do your research. I suspect that the fact you are thinking of going abroad as it’s cheaper than going private in the UK, means you cannot really afford to manage should you or baby suffer complications and need urgent/intensive care, or if you need extended care/stay. If you can’t comfortably afford it then I think it would be very risky and unwise to go ahead, unless you can get comprehensive insurance- which I think would be difficult to find and expensive if you can obtain it.

My care was excellent and the midwife led unit I went to was like a good private hospital. Couldn’t fault it, however, I was in and out within 6 hours so didn’t experience the postnatal ward where a lot of the complaints seem to come from.