Friend didn't tell me she moved ..aibu to be a bit annoyed?

[upupupandaways]

Well maybe not annoyed but a bit baffled.
We've been friends for 20 years.
We text every day and chat on the phone 3x a week sometimes more.
It was her birthday yesterday and we were meeting for lunch,as a extra surprise I sent her a bouquet of flowers.
The company rang and said they couldn't be delivered as the person no longer lived there.
I called my friend and she said "oh yeah we've moved,2 months ago,I never had the time to tell you"
???? We speak every day.
She had been renting but has bought this house.
How do you not tell your friend you've bought a house?
I just find it odd.
She was looking at houses a few months ago and said it was just for fun and they weren't in a position to buy etc
So she's gone through the whole process of putting offers in etc etc
Not saying a word.
We used to tell each other everything

@fedup21 I have no idea,she never invites me over,she always says it's too small (or was) for visitors,we meet in town every time.

Has she ever entertained you on her driveway though?

What about offering your shopping a lift home whilst broken-shouldered you is forced to walk?

🤔

I'd be doubting the friendship and I'd be telling her that you feel hurt. Real friends don't keep secrets like that.

The "too small for visitors" excuse is bullshit. Did she literally live in a cupboard? I bet she had a sofa that seats 2 or more people, therefore she had room.

Hmm, I'd find it really hard to NOT mention anything about moving house.

I don't blame you for feeling upset OP. I'd certainly be reassessing my relationship with her, because it's obviously not what you thought it was.

@Butchyrestingface

Has she ever entertained you on her driveway though?

What about offering your shopping a lift home whilst broken-shouldered you is forced to walk?

@Butchyrestingface

Has she ever entertained you on her driveway though?

What about offering your shopping a lift home whilst broken-shouldered you is forced to walk?

I remember the visitor kept on the driveway, but not anything about walking home with a broken shoulder - sounds like I missed a good one!

Maybe she won or inherited some money and didn't want it made public - very strange.

Are you sure she has moved to the house she says she has?

She might have been evicted from her last property and is embarrassed or could have bought a way more expensive house and is just saying it’s the one she showed you.

She might have bought the one she showed you and a more expensive property!

My brother phoned me at 10.30pm one night to tell me he was moving the next day and thought he’d better tell me. We’d met him and SIL regularly and they’d never said a word. Turned out it had been going on for a year, with them walking away from one sale before finding the house they were moving to. People are strange but it was my brother!

I am actually going through buying a house at the moment, a big house that’s costing us quite a bit of money. I didn’t want people to see how much it was but obviously it’s on Rightmove 🤨 my best friend who gave her house up recently looked at it and never congratulated us, said it was nice or anything. She’s been a best friend since I was a child and I was really upset that she didn’t seem happy for us, so now I’m not mentioning anything about it the process at all, maybe your friend is thinking the same?? If not very weird

I know someone who did this. I’ve “reassessed the friendship” and decided life’s too short. I’m also blocked on Facebook, but none of our mutual friends are.

I very rarely invite people back to our house. Health problems mean it's a total tip. I hate the mess and I'm really embarrassed. It could be that she doesn't want you offering to help with the move or to see the house because it's in a state. Oddly, I could see my very best friend not mentioning moving house, just because we talk about other stuff!

Is she trying to tell you something.....

You're a "chatting" friend, not a "confiding" friend. Someone she will do the superficial stuff with but has closer friends for the important stuff.

Sorry, it sucks when you find out that your first tier friend has stuck you on second tier or below :(

I’m going through a massive change in my life and I’m not telling a good friend of mine because it’ll just end the friendship. I will be moving away at some point and I just don’t want him to know yet.

possible hoarder, controlling partner.

I’m going through a massive change in my life and I’m not telling a good friend of mine because it’ll just end the friendship. I will be moving away at some point and I just don’t want him to know yet.

That's really rough @Itsnotme123.
If you need or want to go, a good friend would be happy for you, no matter how sad they will also be at living further apart.

My first house was in Boro cost £14k 😂

It’s very weird - either she thinks you are broke and doesn’t want to rub your nose in it - or- she has way more money that she wants you to know about.
If she’s that good a friend I would just ask her why she didn’t tell you - off course she had time to tell you - it’s massive!

It's totally weird, no doubt.

DP family thought we had moved into a rental when we got our mortgage 3months ago we didn't feel the need to make a massive song and dance about it for months like SIL did

How are you in other situations when she has big news etc. I have a couple of of ‘friends’ whom communication wise we’re close but on my side I feel it’s a bit of a toxic relationship and they can be very nasty/bitter/jealous/competitive so there are some things we just don’t tell them or not until after the fact as they bloody spoil it for me. We’re toying with the idea of moving and I definitely wouldn’t tell these people until it was a done deal. Maybe wouldn’t wait 2 months post move though - that is a bit random. You don’t sound like that sort of person but I bet my friends don’t to others!

It is weird. I think for enough if not wanting to share the process and avoiding questions. But already living for 2 months? I think this is a sign that your friendship is cooling town. Tis more like nice meeting to chat mundane things instead of sharing life occurrences. We need those types of friends too.

mussolini9 I know, but he’s very possessive and sulky if things don’t go his way. So it’s just best left unsaid for now.

Emdoug you didn't have to "make a song and dance" about it, but not telling family that you've bought a house & letting them believe you're renting is just weird.
Even weirder than OP's friend not telling her.

One of my closest friends did this recently. Suddenly she owned a house. I was hurt, but on talking to her it's because she was embarrassed by not understanding anything that was going on in the process and felt out of her depth having solicitors and a financial advisor. Too grown up! Her partner's family dealt with everything.

Similarly, I only told her on Saturday that my husband moved out 6 week ago. She knew of the ongoing problems we had, but when it came to him finally leaving, it wasn't all black and white. I didn't want to tell people until I had it clear in my mind what was happening because everyone had an opinion on the matter.

In both cases it wasn't about our friendship. We both only discussed with close family and kept quiet to anyone else.