Doormat or Bastard

[WankmasterBastardDeLaShithead]

I can't decide whether agreeing to this favour would make me a doormat (or if saying no would be bastard-ish). In essence, my 8 yr old DC has a "friend" who lives very nearby. The parents have asked if I can look after their DC for a short while (up to half an hour) and then walk them to school (same school as my DC) a couple of days a week.

The background to this is that our DCs used to be very good friends at school, and for a year or two I would regularly have their kid round to play after school. This was almost never reciprocated, which eventually started to feel really awkward for me (as my DC kept asking, and kept being turned down. I started to suspect that they just didn't like my DC). Circumstances changed last year, and our paths rarely crossed. Our DCs friendship faded significantly.

I chatted with DH about it when the parent messaged me asking for this favour, and he (ruthless bastard that he is) feels that we should just say no on the basis that they've pretty much avoided contact/friendship until they need me.

For one day of the week it's not a problem to me to take their kids round to school, but on the other day we'd have them hanging around for half an hour at an already busy time (I have four DC - mornings can be hectic!).

It feels like saying no would be petty, and if they'd been even slightly reciprocal a few years ago I'd be much more open to the idea. On the other hand, this feels like a fairly major commitment/favour, and I just feel a bit...used?

AIBU in saying "no". What's the Mumsnet judgement on this situation?

Wow you are pretty harsh on your husband in this instance.

I think you need to get over this being liked or being talked about. You are a adult. I would do this for a good friend who were stuck not someone who has treated you and your child like this.

You are being a doormat and they are using you when it suits. Shut that right down.

Eh? The "ruthless bastard" bit was (I thought very obviously) tongue in cheek!

(and I do think they're generally good/nice people - they just haven't been particularly friendly to me and my DC).

They're not! They're chancers who even tried to rope your DD into doing their dirty work. You weren't good enough to be friendly to but good enough to do their childcare for free. There's nothing nice about them. Pair of wankers.

Hang on, you have to take one child to school, but they want you to take two of theirs?

Why is it petty to say no?

No is fine for a request, we either can or can’t. No explanation needed.

Only so it if you think it adds to your child’s experience. They are massively cheeky though.

Oh and a good marker for this is if you are made to feel bad for saying No. By them by subtle or not so subtle ways.

This for me is a very good litmus test - and I say No every time to these kinds of requests.

Good people don’t make you feel bad for refusing a favour. And those good people are the ones we should help if we can. No cheeky chancers!

Does your child want to spend time with this child? If so and you wouldn't be put out much more than your already hectic home life, I'd do it.

If your child isn't interested in seeing the other child, it's an easy "no".

Either say no or say that your struggling to find someone to pick up on a certain day if you were able to do that would they be able to do this. Else just say the kids are not really friends anymore since dc was never invited over so your dh thinks it's a bad idea sorry you couldn't help but you agree.