Hi folks. Sorry, this is going to be long but I'm trying to give a full enough backstory so as not to drip feed. But I need to know if I'm being a heartless bitch, or perfectly reasonable.
So DH and I have been together for 16 years and have 4 kids.
His last 2 jobs have been fraught with stress, anxiety and performance improvement issues, with the last one culminating in a payoff to disappear quietly with the promise of a decent reference. This was after several months of him being off sick with stress.
We had anticipated this ending and about a year before, had downsized our property. I wasn't happy about this but I stood by him and, having only 2 kids at that time, this was reasonably easy to do (the downsizing that is). The new house was a bit of a shithole tbh (although in a good area) but after a few months of unemployment he managed to get a new job. Things were looking up, his new colleagues seemed nice and normal and we were able to do up and extend our home and had 2 more kids.
Fast forward 4 years, things have gone tits up at his current job. He's had a couple of run ins with colleagues and people in other depts. they've now decided he's a problem and are now finding "issues" with his work (which has never been an issue till now). So now he's off on the sick again, driving me absolutely bonkers because he's a lazy sod and doesn't actually want to spend his sick leave minding the kids, but is having to, because I refuse to send them to their grans unless their is an actual reason/need to do so.
He had a meeting today with his line manager, and the possibility of a "settlement with a decent reference" was discussed. Dh thinks if he returns to work from sick leave he may be looking at a possible disciplinary and a performance improvement setup.
He has some job apps in the pipeline, but nothing guaranteed.
I'm seriously pissed off! I just feel so fucking hacked off that were even in this situation yet again. Dh thinks I'm being unsympathetic and he should take the settlement. Apparently I'm being unreasonable because I don't seem to care about his mental health! The thing is, logically, I can see the argument for accepting the settlement offer, but it seems I'm married to a man who is so incapable of getting along with work colleagues that eventually he has to be hounded out of every place of work! He doesn't seem to see that he appears to be the problem! I bought all the "I'm being picked on" at the last 2 jobs, but seriously, 3 times?! I work in the same type of organisation, and in my experience, it's very unusual for people in our type of workplace to be "managed out the door", and yet he's managed it 3 times now!