To think I can’t do this? (Pregnancy)

[gonewiththepotter]

I’m 5/6 weeks into a planned and very much wanted pregnancy BUT I feel so awful!!!!

Actually tested early due to horrid nausea/acid reflux/painful breasts and stabbing cervical pain. Now my hips ache when I lay in bed so having to sleep in the spare room as DH’s breathing, breath smell, body heat...and general existence is driving me crazy.

I feel poorly ALL of the time (have been signed off work) and the nausea meds don’t seem to be helping.

There’s no middle ground, either my stomach is empty and really hurts or (even if I lightly snack) I'm just hovering over a bucket!!! Literally having to carry the bucket around the house with me!

I’m miserable! I can’t imagine being able to go back to work like this. I just want to feel so useless/helpless/poorly and fed up!!!

I was so looking forward to pregnancy too 😭 so want this baby and feel really guilty for feeling the way I do now!

DH is being an angel- doing all chores/housework and listening to me complain constantly! Waking up with me when I’m nauseas in the night and doing all he can to help ... but I’m starting to resent him for his health whilst I go through this!

It is also worth knowing that current research shows it is better to get treatment early on rather than trying to though it out until you just can't go on any more. Early treatment can reduce the length and severity of symptoms as well as the likelihood of you needing to take stronger drugs or being hospitalised later on.

Sex wise I want nothing to do with it, I gave out to dh earlier for looking too lovingly at me cos it was like being touched by his eyes I think I wanted it more in second trimester, I do remember some interesting dreams anyway

I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling so rough. Pregnancy is really really hard, and a test of endurance.

In response to your question, yes, statistically, women with worse sickness symptoms are less likely to miscarry. Like a previous poster said this doesn’t mean that you won’t, it’s just what the numbers illustrate. I recommend the book expecting better by Emily Oster as she explains it all very well.

As for sex, my DH doesn’t want to touch me when pregnant. Obviously a lot of the time I don’t want it either as I’m sick/tired/aching but when I did he took a lot of persuading!

@gonewiththepotter Are You feeling any better for being off the cycilzine?

I had the same with all of mine. I found it really helped to be out in the fresh air, even if it’s the last thing you can imagine doing. Also be kind to your partner, his patience may wear thin as this is not a short term thing. Hang in there it does ease up!

Im currently 10 weeks and my nausea and sickness is making this an awful experience. Im so glad to read other peoples feels and know im not alone. I wanted this baby so much, but this sickness is awful. This morning i just threw up stomach acid as havent eaten as too scared. Its really starting to get me down. I have tried ginger and ginger biscuits. Eatting before getting out of bed. Having food before i fall asleep. Nothing works. I hope you are all right and it gets better

Its hard to imagine it fading away-but it does(&sometimes doesnt from what ive heard)but just saying hang in there..i thought i was so ill i went to Dr imagining all kinds of horror complaints as wasnt trying,rarely had sex but off the pill a few weeks as had been feeling like shit on it(or so i thought)..i was 5weeks preggers&sick like you until 14 weeks..couldnt even smell food&same with exP smells too..then it vanished literally within days atweek14ish i was turbocharged,extra shifts at work,eating 4-5 times a day,power walking in evenings&bursting with energy.Had a fantastic time 14weeks+..Ur DP sounds well supportive-u made a better choice than me there😉Good luck for the rest of pregnancy xx

I’ve had the WORST night. Complete exhaustion (despite having done nothing yesterday) and horrible nausea. It started like gas I couldn’t get rid of but by 1:30 I was in HELL!

I suppose that was the price to pay for a good day yesterday! The cleaners are coming this morning, and we are having furniture delivered. Luckily DH is off and currently running around the house picking up dirty pants...etc like I usually would.

I’m just sitting in bed sipping ice water and deciding which room to hold up in for the day. 🤢🙈

Oh god I remember this so badly even tho first born is 22 now
Walking down the street and someone in a house was making fresh coffee-and I gagged all the way home
Someone in front of me smoking a roll up meant I spent 15 minutes chucking up in a bush
Just walking past our local swimming pool made me sick again-even tho the pool had been shut for 5+ years
It does get better I promise-at around 15+ weeks
Just go easy on yourself-take it all an hour at a time

(But I still can’t walk past that swimming pool or drink coffee 22 years on...)

I’m crying into my bucket whilst DH lovings hugs my thigh. I can’t lie down. Have slept sat up and feel like SUCH a disgusting mess!!

I’ve honestly never felt more disgusting in my entire life. DH keeps lovingly reassuring me that ‘growing our baby is beautiful’ but I had a weird trippy dream (in the brief moments I did sleep) that he was sexting his university crush.

DH doesn’t ‘get’ sextinh - DH has never looked at another woman whilst I’ve been on the scene. DH is loyal as an elderly Labrador ... but In my insecure disgusting misery this morning I can’t quite forgive him.

😭😭🙈🤢🤮🤯😫

Have you been back to the doctor? You shouldn’t have to feel like this.

Hugs (from a distance cos, you know, vomit..)

What does the GP say? You can’t and shouldn’t have to go on like this and the dr should be monitoring you for dehydration. I was put on drips in hospital a few times. It was awful but also made me feel loads better.

Please please follow the advice of satsoomar. Phone the PSS and get on the correct treatment ASAP. Having been through HG three times, with very different treatments, I can attest to the benefits of treating the symptoms you describe aggressively and early. Phone them today before they shut for the weekend. And then rest. Rest rest rest. It will make the difference between keeping down a few calories and not.

And please forget about sex, or your husbands needs etc. You are seriously ill and may well be for some time yet (sorry). My husband and I with my first pregnancy didn’t have sex for the full nine months due to hg. After birth I needed an op due to scar tissue and couldn’t have sex for a further ten months. Yes we missed it. But our marriage goes far deeper and it’s just temporary. Just relax and look after you.

Spoke to GP yesterday and have been given a new med. DH gonna go collect today!

I’m not at risk of dehydration I don’t think as I’m sipping Ice water all through the day and not bringing it back up!

DH is at home today which is really nice. He’s actually a Dr (who has buckets of sympathy for me) so I do feel more confident knowing he’s here and will monitor me. He’s working loads atm though so been lucky to see him for 20 mins a day 😭

He doesn’t think it’s HG level yet. He’s currently in obstetrics so I’m inclined to believe him. He thinks it’s still ‘shitty but normal’ territory. If it carries on like this for much longer, or gets worse we’ll reassess but for now gotta see if the new anti nausea meds help xx

We are going to book an ‘early reassurance’ sonogram to raise my spirits a bit.
I feel like if I see my baby I’ll find it easier to push through.

Has anyone done that?

I think your GP isn't up the date on the current guidlines for care. Please phone pregnancy sickness support. There's not really any such thing as hyperemesis in that there is no test for it or threshold to be diagnosed. Plrase talk to them or get your husband to call.

I hope you new meds help. What are they and what is the dosage you have been prescribed?

@satsoomar I think OP is saying that her DH, who is a doctor, thinks it's normal levels, not her GP. Her GP has prescribed something else.

I hope it works, OP! Do get help if you need it. I appreciate your DH is a doctor but this sounds a lot worse than most people have to suffer, I'm not sure that I'd agree that it seems "crap but normal".

@AnchorDownDeepBreath

Yeah that was what I was trying to say, thank you for your advice (any everyone else for there’s) you have no idea how much all the comments help! Just knowing it’s not abnormal and I’m not alone. I’m gonna call pregnancy sickness support today but I imagine they’ll ask me to try the new nausea meds from my GP.

My DH does think if it carries on for a while, or gets worse it would be HG but for now (given that it’s been going less than 2 weeks and is mainly nausea) it’s not at a stage which would require a hospital visit/stay...etc.

Oh right. Sorry. I still think even so a Dr who only sees patients who make it into hospital might not be bang up to date on what treatments are advised for patients who aren't sick enough to need hospital (and I agree you don't sound like you are at that point).

I only say this as I've been admitted to hospital with hyperemesis before and still had to educate the doctors on the ward as to what meds I should try and which were safe to use for what periods of time. They went to look up their guidelines and I was right.

Hope your new meds help. If they don't, check if you can increase the dosage, move onto second line meds like ondansetron, or combine first and second line meds.

Hospital visit is usually because of dehydration. Your husband can’t know if you need this without doing a urine test. Sorry, but I’m with other posters. I had to educate my doctors on HG. I had a nurse tell me (while I was attached to drip in hospital!!!) that I was carrying on and to pull myself together 😡

You are really ill. Sex is the least of your problems. My DH has to sleep in another room for 7 months and wear a mask over his mouth when he came near me. I was that sensitive to smell. It wasn’t fun, but we survived and I seriously would have killed him if there was any hint of self pity from him.

I posted something very similar i completely feel your pain! I found that Seabands (amazon) really helped with train journeys etc. I couldnt wear them all day because they gave me pins and needles, and the downside was that once I took them off I felt even worse than before. But it was nice to have some relief during the day.

I found out at 3 weeks I was expecting, at 4.5 weeks the nausea hit me like a ton of bricks, im only really sick when I brush my teeth.
I am 12 weeks today, mine eased off about 8 weeks (luckily) because I almost had a mental breakdown over it.
I still have the odd sick day, but its ok because I have good days too so its bearable, I am starting to show now too so im hoping I may be able to finally enjoy being pregnant!

Hang in there, it does get better.
Try and snack on fruit, grapes, watermelon etc, I found that to be quite refreshing. And apples were my savour!

Other things I found nice were ice lollies, Jelly and cake!! Random I know, these werent cravings by any means just things I discovered I could eat without heaving!

I have gone off everything, even now, coffee, tea, robinsons juice makes me feel ill, I cant stomach sparkling water??? So random!

Completely underestimated pregnancy before, all my friends had smooth ones so im sure they roll their eyes at me! But I completely feel your pain! I hope it gets better for you soon, my worst weeks were 5-7 xx

I had normal morning sickness in my first pregnancy....little queasy and a vomit when I would wake in the morning but after an hour or 2 I would feel fine again and then maybe another wee spell of the same in the evening.
My 2nd pregnancy sounds very much like you tho in the first couple of weeks I felt constantly sick could barely lift my head most days couldn't eat but wasn't actually vomiting and then around the 7 week mark the vomiting started sometimes up to 30 times a day with the nausea constantly throughout, was admitted to hospital drips etc and put onto cyclizine which did nothing then was admitted back to hospital again and a lovely doctor sorted me out with some ondansetron....omg it was amazing I took it with the cyclizine and now I still did have some vomiting but not nearly as much and it totally helped with the constant feeling of nausea. If I missed a tablet I knew about it. Unfortunately it lasted the whole pregnancy as well and in the end I lost count of the hospital admissions I think I was in the hospital more of the pregnancy than I was out but the ondansetron did make it more bareable

I suggest if you are still feeling this way that you go back to the GP and try out some other medications there is quite a few available and I hope you get some relief soon, unless you have suffered from it you can never truly understand just how debilitating it is everyone telling me I should just enjoy being pregnant it's a blessing etc...hell after trying for so long for a much wanted pregnancy and suffering losses of course I knew it was a blessing but it didn't help the fact that I felt utterly shit and I hated being pregnant. Was all worth it in the end though and I would do it again tomorrow (except I don't ever want another toddler )

Wonderful suggestions I’m going to try some of them!

@satsoomar I completely agree DH doesn’t know everything and I 100% think I need to pull on GP and pregnancy sickness support to keep me out of hospital.

I’ve had a really weird one today. Obviously had an awful night/ early morning but from about 12 I’ve been ok again ... just now started doing dizzy and feeling sick again but think I might be hungry.

So that’s two days in a row now where I’ve had ‘better’ days and ‘worse’ nights 🤔

MIL is in holiday but has asked several times how I am - I’m 90% sure she’s figured out that I’m pregnant as DH is a terrible liar and she’s a clever woman 😂🤯

I’ve now got my new meds but given my ‘good’ afternoon and how much worse my last meds made me (bloody cyclizine!!!😷) I’m quite scared to take them. So am putting it off until I feel bad enough to warrant it again. (Probably in the next few hours at this rate)

It sounds very close to HG to me. This is not normal territory. From all my friends who were pregnant only one had what you describe. She said it was awful. Many of my friends including me haven’t had morning sickness. Or only slightly feeling sick. I get we are lucky. But I do think it’s a misconception that all women feel so horrible the first 12 weeks.