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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I can’t do this? (Pregnancy)

141 replies

gonewiththepotter · 30/07/2019 14:36

I’m 5/6 weeks into a planned and very much wanted pregnancy BUT I feel so awful!!!!

Actually tested early due to horrid nausea/acid reflux/painful breasts and stabbing cervical pain. Now my hips ache when I lay in bed so having to sleep in the spare room as DH’s breathing, breath smell, body heat...and general existence is driving me crazy.

I feel poorly ALL of the time (have been signed off work) and the nausea meds don’t seem to be helping.

There’s no middle ground, either my stomach is empty and really hurts or (even if I lightly snack) I'm just hovering over a bucket!!! Literally having to carry the bucket around the house with me!

I’m miserable! I can’t imagine being able to go back to work like this. I just want to feel so useless/helpless/poorly and fed up!!!

I was so looking forward to pregnancy too 😭 so want this baby and feel really guilty for feeling the way I do now!

DH is being an angel- doing all chores/housework and listening to me complain constantly! Waking up with me when I’m nauseas in the night and doing all he can to help ... but I’m starting to resent him for his health whilst I go through this!

OP posts:
Chartreuser · 30/07/2019 16:31

Oh OP Flowers I totally sympathise. My eldest DCs survived for weeks on ellas pouches, cereal and sandwiches as I couldn't cope with the smell of the cooker. Or the bathroom. Or DH. We watched cbeebies on loop for weeks (wasn't so bad with first DC). Even now 12 years later sine cbeebies theme songs make me retch.

You will get through this but it is shite, and you just have to keep trying different things. I used to keep cotton wool with peppermint oil on it upon my person at all times to sniff

Pinkout · 30/07/2019 16:36

The first trimester is awful, definitely the worst. That and the final eight weeks when you’re huge, pissing constantly and struggle to get comfortable. The middle part is generally nice Grin.

Yogurtcoveredricecake · 30/07/2019 16:50

I was sick at random points of the day, every day for 9 weeks add in the nausea, bloating, exhaustion, constipation and it was miserable. Got better at about 16 weeks and then all reasonable until about 28 weeks when I got pregsomnia and then it was downhill from there. Good luck OP!

gonewiththepotter · 30/07/2019 16:58

I feel SO poorly 😭

I’m in bed with a bucket and horrible stomach pain/nausea.

I don’t think I can cope like this for more weeks! 😭

I’m really resenting DH too for getting all the fun and excitement whilst being perfectly healthy

OP posts:
Croprotationinthe14thcentury · 30/07/2019 17:06

Poor you op, stay strong. it's awful and I really sympathize. I felt utterly miserable for the first 14 weeks of pregnancy, constant retching, fainting because I couldn't bear to eat or when I forced myself to eat, couldn't keep food down. I magically woke up one day and felt fine and the rest was ok but I vowed never again would I go through that. I'd rather give birth every day for 9 months than be pregnant again for 9 months! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy

Croprotationinthe14thcentury · 30/07/2019 17:10

Oh by the way I have a theory that women who suffer through pregnancy have easy going babies so fingers crossed I'm right! 😂 My lo is delightful and was a very happy, easy baby!

gardenbats · 30/07/2019 17:14

You poor thing. I looked forward to being pregnant so much and I remember at around 6 weeks thinking 'what the actual fuck, I've been sold a lie'.

It may well get better in the second trimester, that first bit is grim. Hang in there and don't worry about wanting more and all of that, after having my DD I swore I'd never have another and I quite fancy the idea now ... I guess that's how the human race continues!

Do go back to the GP though and don't let them fob you off.

gardenbats · 30/07/2019 17:14

Agree with Croprotationinthe14thcentury ... I was a rubbish pregnant person but have the easiest baby. Dream sleeper and eaten, smiles constantly. Let's hope there's something in that theory Grin

MangoSpice · 30/07/2019 17:19

I was like that with my third OP. The nausea just wasn't funny and I felt like I wanted to die. I'd take the elder two to School/nursery and then go back to bed! It lifted at 20 weeks and I was terrified it would come back.

Youseethethingis · 30/07/2019 17:22

There are other meds you can try OP - cycliwhatsit did nothing for me either and I think it was the third drug my doctor tried me on that really helped. I was down to only being sick once or twice a day on that one. Is your doctor sympathetic? I would go back to them and ask to try something else? They won’t want you existing on toast indefinitely.
I was beside myself, hugging my little basin that I carried around the house with me for the first few months and it was utterly shit but now that my baby is here (and is clearly the most beautiful and amazing child the world has ever been blessed with Wink ) it all seems worth it. Try to look forward to the day you get to hold your precious baby in your arms and I wish you all the best getting through this trying time Flowers

tomatoesandstew · 30/07/2019 17:24

HG isn't just about the women who have constant vomiting.
The best website for support and talking to your gp ( if they give you a blanket you can't take much or you will harm your baby) is this one www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk/
There are lots of other medications and non medical things that work for many women.

The best advice i had was to take it day by day not think about how much longer you have to get through.
First trimester is rough, tiring, emotional, hungry and nauseous all at the same time. Two random things that worked for me a little that aren't on the standard lists are butter mints and chocolate eclair sweets.

thetwinkles · 30/07/2019 17:27

This is how I felt early days, well until about 16 weeks actually. It was twins WinkSmile

SouthWestmom · 30/07/2019 17:35

Poor you it's a total nightmare with the nausea all the time. Mine didn't go until I'd actually had them so be warned you may need to try different coping strategies....mine was skittles and tic tacs all the way through.

Skinandbones · 30/07/2019 17:52

Could you try a seasick bracelet, I don't think it would harm the baby. Your DH sounds wonderful, just try to reassure him it's your hormones that are all over the place. It's hard when he has no idea how you feel. Just rest when you can, have you tried extra pillows to rest on. Try what you can and hopefully it will soon be over.

RainbowAlicorn · 30/07/2019 17:53

I had sickness on and off all the way through my first pregnancy and had terrible sickness with my second, I was sick constantly until I hit the 16 week mark and it just stopped. It isn't fun being pregnant, some people make it look so easy, it really isn't.

QueenofmyPrinces · 30/07/2019 18:00

When I was pregnant with my second baby I was so unwell between the weeks of 8-14. Weeks 8-11 were absolutely horrendous, the sickness was awful, I couldn’t eat or drink and I just couldn’t function. I will admit that at some points I actually thought having a miscarriage would be a blessing. I know that’s really awful to admit but I still thought it during my really, really bad moments Sad

By weeks 12-13 things started to get better and life soon returned to normal.

Take it one day at a time OP, it will all be worth it in the end Flowers

SilverGiraffe7 · 30/07/2019 18:33

I had no sickness with my boys but with my DD I was sick as a dog for the first few months (twice in hospital on a drip I was throwing up so much).
However much I wanted another baby, there were definitely times I wished I wasn't pregnant at all - I couldn't see how it could be worth it!! (Which of course she was Wink)

Then my doctor suggested acupuncture and I can't recommend it enough - sickness went from the day I had it done and it never came back!

Rtmhwales · 30/07/2019 19:53

My friend also found acupuncture worked for her incessant nausea. Unfortunately it did nothing for mine.

I strongly considered having a termination because I couldn't cope anymore and it didn't get better until the six month mark. It was relentless sickness and I kept waiting for the magic week of pregnancy it would ease up.

Surprisingly you do get through it eventually and actually forget it. I threatened to throw myself off a bridge at one point but I'm currently debating having a second one so apparently you forget the trauma eventually. And the baby is of course so worth the suffering.

mumtobe1984 · 30/07/2019 20:08

Currently have heart palpatations and Dr told me to get on with it..... I hope this isn't it for the next 6 months Shock

Mimosa1 · 30/07/2019 20:08

Please don't suffer like this. There is safe and effective anti nausea medicine. Get yourself to the GP and if anyone suggests ginger feel free to knock them over the head with your sick bucket

ilovecake77 · 30/07/2019 20:09

poor you,i really feel for you as i remember feeling so poorly in the first trimester and at times felt like i didnt want to be pregnant anymore{feel terrible saying that!] but the vomiting and all day nausea was awful.
I was hospitalised as i had keotones when my urine was checked and needed to be on a fluid drip in hospital where i was given ondansatron which helped loads with my nausea and vomiting.
Try and get a sympathetic gp and explain how you feel ,they should check your wee for keotones if your not eating and ask for ondansetron to see if that helps.x

twistyturnycurlywhirly · 30/07/2019 21:37

Hang in there. It's worth it in the end. I'm in week 24 of morning sickness hell.

Junobug · 30/07/2019 21:51

I know I'm lucky compared to most of you as I just get the nausea, not sickness. Pregnancy is pants. However, your body has the incredible talent to make you forget how awful it was. Until you decide to do it again. I'm 9 weeks pregnant with dc4 and for every previous one, until 13ish weeks, I wished I wasn't. Please find a good doctor, don't worry about work, rest and keep drinking. I feel 10 times worse if I'm dehydrated.

Howdidido · 30/07/2019 22:00

Lots and lots and lots of sympathy.
Your midwife will have lots too. Keep going back
Honestly- if my first pregnancy had been like my second DD would be an only child. I was nauseous all the time. Whether hungry or full. And so so so exhausted.
Ask for other meds. Take it easy. Explain to DH it's not his fault but if he breaths on you you will throw up in his face.
Hang in there. For most people after 12 weeks it gets suddenly better. But I know that's seems a long way away.
Have you tried ginger?
What you need is a smell that doesn't make you nauseous (easy said than done) that you can go to when you are. It's usually smells making you nauseous even when it's not something you're registering. Peppermint? Ginger?

Howdidido · 30/07/2019 22:03

Haha Mimosa1. sorry! I meant for the smell... Blush