To think I can’t do this? (Pregnancy)

[gonewiththepotter]

I’m 5/6 weeks into a planned and very much wanted pregnancy BUT I feel so awful!!!!

Actually tested early due to horrid nausea/acid reflux/painful breasts and stabbing cervical pain. Now my hips ache when I lay in bed so having to sleep in the spare room as DH’s breathing, breath smell, body heat...and general existence is driving me crazy.

I feel poorly ALL of the time (have been signed off work) and the nausea meds don’t seem to be helping.

There’s no middle ground, either my stomach is empty and really hurts or (even if I lightly snack) I'm just hovering over a bucket!!! Literally having to carry the bucket around the house with me!

I’m miserable! I can’t imagine being able to go back to work like this. I just want to feel so useless/helpless/poorly and fed up!!!

I was so looking forward to pregnancy too 😭 so want this baby and feel really guilty for feeling the way I do now!

DH is being an angel- doing all chores/housework and listening to me complain constantly! Waking up with me when I’m nauseas in the night and doing all he can to help ... but I’m starting to resent him for his health whilst I go through this!

I had a total break down and sobbed my heart out to DH whilst clutching my bucket in bed (obvs, it’s attached to me now).

He rubbed my shoulder/ cuddled me (but got told off for rocking the mattress)

I’ve been so poorly this aft/evening it feels like it’s getting worse by the day. I have a nice GP so will ring tomorrow 👍🏻

I kinda wish I was being sick as at least it would be up and out! Instead I sat for hours with that horrible full uncomfortable ‘about to be sick’ stomach ache.

I considered ‘helping’ things along just to get it over with but after a teenage run in with bulimia I just can’t do that- slippery slope!

Ah god love you op. if it helps at all, mine lifted at 10 weeks - there is hope it will go on its own! But hope the gp will help you tomorrow in the meantime, hope you get a new medication to try.

I was so unwell last night/afternoon that I’m now laying in bed DREADING breakfast. I know the moment I eat it’ll all start again!

But my stomach is churning with hunger 😭

Also, has anyone experienced REALLY strong symptoms quite early ... but still suffered a loss? I’m sorry to ask that it’s just EVERYONE and their dog is telling me to be ‘grateful’ for such strong symptoms as they are a ‘good sign’ and mean the chances of me losing LO are much reduced!

I’m not sure if this is just something people say!

I hated pregnancy! I felt so poorly for my entire first trimester and then at 16 weeks I got SPD and the rest of my pregnancy was a very painful difficult one :(
I also had a horrendous birth experience but despite all this I am so proud of myself for growing this incredible little person. My dd is now 6 months old and although I haven’t forgotten the difficulties I faced to get her here She certainly makes up for it x

The expectation that you should be grateful is such sexist bullshit.
No one tells people with broken legs to be grateful they have legs, or not to mention how awful it is because other people might break their legs.

Pregnancy is fucking awful. (If it's any consolation, actually being sick doesn't make the nausea go away, you just have to clean up sick while still feeling awful) I stopped being sick about 10mins after DD arrived.

Get the drugs and also talk about how much it is affecting your mood. Everyone talks about postnatal depressed, no one seems to talk about antenatal depression. I used to spend my lunch break walking around the park planning my suicide for when I (inevitably to me) miscarried, it never occurred to me that this wasn't normal.
(Happy ending though, DD is 18m and is NOT having a sibling)

Ahh you poor love. 💐 Speak with your doctor and try different meds, also Pregnancy Sickness Support as suggested as they have a buddy system which may help? Try to take it an hour at a time, and one day down is another day less to do. Don't be ashamed to tell your midwife how you truly feel, it's more common than you think.

Oh I relate to the smells! I couldn't believe how many people around me had such poor dental hygiene and bad breath, including DH who I constantly pointed it out to. Amazingly once I passed 12 weeks I found that people around me had started remembering to brush their teeth again!

I wonder if it's twins?

You need to keep trying different foods and you'll find something you can eat. Red coke and salt and vinegar pringles never usually fails to help. You are still very early so I wonder if a bit of the nausea could be caused by anxiety/excitement. It might be worth trying some relaxation exercises to see if that helps.

I'm going to echo a few other posters. It could be twins!

God I hated being pregnant. That nausea feeling when you don't want to eat but need to eat is horrendous. You can't win. I was miserable from 6-14weeks. Then almost overnight, I felt fine!

Your DH is amazing! Mine is rubbish at being sympathetic, he tried but he just made it worse🤦

The hyperemesis board on here really is great. Other people who feel the same, at the same time as you is strangely comforting. I don't think that people can understand how exhausting, upsetting and isolating it is unless they have been there (or similar). For me the constant nausea was worse than the actually being sick. You have my sympathy, it's truly awful.

I am sorry to say you very much have HG. My experience with HG was similar, almost no vomiting (maybe 2-3 vomits per pregnancy) but constant, unrelenting nausea. Like you, I couldn't go into the kitchen, the supermarket, kiss DH, etc. even brushing my teeth was a problem.

Join the HG group on here, everyone is very knowledgeable and psychologically it helps a lot to see yourself moving closer to the end of the queue for getting rid of HG. Go back to your GP and push for more help. You should also be aware of the signs of dehydration and look out for them.

Get different drugs, I'm doing great on carabin but that doesn't seem to be offered in UK. Some people are terrible at pregnancy I'm one of them, can't wait for the debilitating third trimester migraines again.
But I did do it again, you do forget a bit . Two's enough I'm getting everything tied after this one, I'll tie my legs together to prevent going through this again

Echoing others - ask for another drug. Only thing that made me feel remotely normal in early stage of pregnancy was Odanestron.
Pregnancy can be the worst. And you end up resenting what should be a really happy time. Look out for your MH as well because of this.
Mine really declined. But, there is an end point, and it’s important to focus on it.

Hang in there OP, it’ll get better and soon be a distant memory although it won’t feel it just now. I couldn’t eat anything with a strong taste or smell and so stuck to fairly beige foods that weren’t too bad to throw up if need be (no dairy! 🤢).

In answer to your earlier question, I had bad nausea with my second pregnancy and I still had a late first trimester miscarriage (and it was just one baby, not twins). I in no way want to scare you but it pisses me off when people say strong symptoms reduce the chances of miscarriage. It’s rubbish and no one can know that.

User478 is absolutely right. Please look after your mental health. I have really struggled this time to get out of bed some days and it has crossed my mind that it would be better for my 3dc if I wasn't here, as I'm so horrible and useless to them at the moment. My only saving grace is that as this is no.4, I recognised now, that this is hormones and I feel like this for a few months at the begin and the first 6 weeks after birth and if I get through that, I'm fine. But it is a scary place to be if it's new.
And to answer your earlier question, my 2nd pregnancy was my worst and was twins, one of which I mc'd at 9/10 weeks, so it is possible to end up in loss (although I know I only lost 1) and you do not have to be thankful you feel like this at all.

Just offering my sympathies OP, it sounds dreadful. I hope your GP listens and supports you.

I would also like to just add @Croprotationinthe14thcentury you have the best username on Mumsnet! Jealous I don’t have it.

It’s so hard- I had DH even turn away my mum yesterday (as was so poorly when my parents arrived to drop something off).

DH is on a long day today so won’t be home till 10pm and I’m laid here feeling pants. The nausea is ok (always seems to get worse after 12 ish) but the dizziness and shakes are terrible today!

Managed to get a shower just about but very worried about myself and I’m dropping weight like it’s going out of fashion! Over 4lbs in 10 days and my BMI was already 22! So I don’t have lots to lose!

I rang DM this morning to winge about how bad my MH is and how awful I’m feeling- she was nice but clearly got the impression she didn’t want to spend her morning listening to me complain!

It’s ok to say ‘talk about your mental health’ but what do you do when no one wants to listen?

I’m sorry and I understand. It’s bloody awful in a way that you can’t understand unless you’ve been through it. I found it helped just to give in to it in a way. To accept that I couldn’t work, that DH had to sleep in another room, that all I had to do was survive.

Force your doctors to try different meds until one works for you. Drink if you can, that’s the main thing. I couldn’t stand tap water and could only drink bottled and only through a straw. It had to be really cold. Tap was metallic and the smell was unbearable for me. I could handle a few things but at different times so it’s worth trying different foods if can bear it. Things that worked for me were salt and vinegar crops, marmite on toast, eventually milkshakes and chips. But only sometimes. Mostly it was sweets and ice pops.

It will pass.

I have huge sympathy for you. My first pregnancy was really hard and I really struggled with the nausea. If anyone else told me to eat little and often or try ginger I would have killed them! However, I would say that for both pregnancies the peak nausea was at 5-6 weeks and after that it either eased or I got better at coping. This will get easier! I actually found my second pregnancy easier despite vomiting more as I seemed to get some respite after being sick during which I could eat. Hang on in there, this will get easier and it will be worth it. I was sick every day till 15 weeks but I did find it all eased after 6 weeks so you may find yours does too. Take each day one at a time.

I think that's why the online boards/forums and websites are so useful.. because realistically it doesn't feel like people want to listen to you moan forever and you don't feel like seeing people, even though that might help with the mental health side of it. It's so grim. Hopefully yours doesn't last too long!

Meant to say, I also lost a lot of weight and was below my pre-pregnancy weight for a while and definitely far too thin. However, as soon as I could eat I made up for it and put on a lot.. still trying to shift it 18 months later! I don't think I could go through it again, even though I would like another!