It is harder to have a family the more intelligent you are?

[TheTribe]

I remember reading that more intelligent women are not having children. Is this choice or not do you think? Should we be encouraging smart people to have children in some way? I saw idiocracy...

www.mic.com/articles/58579/women-without-children-aren-t-selfish-they-re-smart

Well, now I have googled.

You can try it too.

I did- give me the link,..... please

Really intelligent women figure out how to have a good career AND have kids. It’s the stupid ones that can only do one or the other

Disagree with this. You can be really intelligent and want/have children. You can be really intelligent and not want to have children. But the reasons for deciding against having children tend to be a lot more considered and thoughtful.

There is a perceived correlation but it is not true. I have seen far too many people of my generation (millennial) fall for this lie, go to university, and become underemployed with lots of debt.

As someone who works in HE Policy, can't I just jump in and say that's bollocks and a perpetuated myth. Female graduates earn an average of £500 more over their lifetime than female non graduates. What happened to the people you know isn't the same as evidence.

Iltavilli

r/iamverysmart

Yes you worked in ALL of those industries as a general... Engineer. Since they are all the same, sure.

Highly educated women have more choices in life than those with few or no qualifications. They are more likely to have an interesting, stimulating and fulfilling career. They are likely to be more ambitious. On balance, working as a a vet, marketing manager or journalist is probably preferable to working in Greggs.

Therefore, educated women may feel they have more to lose by deciding to have children, and decide that work is more appealing than domesticity and childcare. They may value their hard-earned financial independence, and not wish to sacrifice it. Each to her own.

I think less educated women generally have children earlier. There's no expectation that they'll have a glittering career so dedicating their lives to child rearing is inevitable, so may as well crack on rather than delaying.

As someone who works in HE Policy, can't I just jump in and say that's bollocks and a perpetuated myth. Female graduates earn an average of £500 more over their lifetime than female non graduates. What happened to the people you know isn't the same as evidence.

That is a statistic that pools the incomes of a much older generation and which has many outliers, including those who are not typical (i.e. millionaires). The issue with that is the older generation would have been much more successful with an education even if it is in a useless major, but this is not the experience of the current generation. If someone goes and gets a degree in a subject like nursing then they are definitely going to be successful but not all subjects are like that.

Eugh you sound like the oh so perfect best friend I was unlucky enough to look up to in my late teens/early 20's.

She couldn't possibly have children as she had the implant at 15 and it rendered her infertile (apparently). She wouldn't want them anyway, what with her work and her studies. She bawled her eyes out when she heard I was expecting via a mutual acquaintance.

She took over my entire life and dragged me down to the point I cut her out of my life in the meanest of ways.

I still see her occasionally, getting fawned upon and just lapping up any attention she can get - clearly unhappy in her relationship of 20 years. She who kept me on a lead and would cry if I spoke to other female friends.

Yes SHE was one of the ones who decided she was too intelligent for children.

It'a a shame really. Oh well, not my problem

This is another thread where I wan to say, reframe that about men instead of women and see how absurd it is.

It’s harder to have a family if mum is the main (or necessary) wage earner. My company is majority male, nearly all the senior/successful men have families, which have had negligible impact on their careers. Such a non issue it’s never discussed. Invariably they are not the principal carer. If you see a woman in a senior role first thought is “how did she manage that with her kids”.

It’s possible that intelligence correlates to senior job roles which tend to be less compatible with large families, for women. On average.

As to whether “intelligent” parents should have more children for the good of the population, that’s very dubious. They would be better using their influential positions to improve chances for children in poverty many of whom are intelligent but not privileged.

Female graduates earn an average of £500 more over their lifetime than female non graduates

Is that all, or are there any noughts missing?!

Intelligence and education are different things. But in general, no I don't think it's harder to have children the more intelligent (or the more highly educated) you are. However, in our current society, both intelligence and education can provide people with more choice about how to live their lives, both because they can lead to greater income and because they can give you exposure to a wider range of ideas about what's possible.

I would think it highly likely that the more good choices women have about ways to live their lives the less likely they are to choose to have children.

I found that I wasn’t just after a relationship and babies straight out of school, as many of my friends who weren’t as academic did. They just saw that as their future and were keen to get on with it.

It’s a shame as I’d have loved more children myself, and a career.

I went to Uni, then got work, then more education etc so it was much more difficult to think, yes, I’ll have kids now. It’s still scary to have time out if you are trying to get a foothold.

Also I found that I wanted men as equals, and so respected that they didn’t want marriage yet or kids yet. Even though I was keen. My friends who had kids younger told me to just drag them up the aisle. That wasn’t the middle class thing I guess, so it’s a cultural thing too.

Also I heard on the radio, women with degrees are seen as less attractive and less picked by men - depressing - from online dating website data.

I went to an all girls private school...we were taught that getting pregnant was the WORST thing EVER that could happen to you and would destroy your life.

I've heard this before and IME it seems broadly true.
I have 4 children and am decidedly average in the brains department, despite a good education and a degree.
My husband however has a high IQ (138 I think?) and is a real polymath. Which makes me curious about male fertility and intelligence.

What??? This is a bonkers thread!!!!! How r you defining intelligence anyway???

I'm useless with money, can't speak any languages, have zero artistic talent, have no common sense and my general knowlege is shocking!!! (I'm also quite anxious, over think everything, and gave up Judo and brownies after a term).

However, I have an "IQ" in the 99th percentile, quite a few degrees, and am a member of Mensa.

Am I "intelligent" in your book? or the opposite?

I'm a mum and I love my children and I have no idea, and doubt very much, that I'm better or worse at being a parent because I failed GCSE French, or because I passed my PhD with flying colors!!!

Did my apptitude in some academic areas and spacial awareness and memory tasks make me veer away from wanting children? ... No!!!

Did my lack of general knowledge and poor languages skills make me want children more than others?? .. No!

This is the most bonkers thread I've seen in a while!! :)

As a general rule, when looking for a partner men tend to go across and down, in hierarchical terms. For women it tends to be across and up. Therefore if you're an intelligent woman in a well paid, professional role the pool of men who are likely to be attractive to you is much smaller.

Oh ... And what is wrong with working in Gregg's? And why is being a marketing manager more preferable? (I personally can't think of anything worse than being a marketing manager, although am partial to a Gregg's sausage roll :) ! My mate is the opposite (hates Gregg's food and is actually in marketing) - I don't really get what this has to do with anything!?

Not sure what the YABU is. People make their own decisions.

IQ 170 (apparently) and 2 perfectly dysfunctional kids.

HoorayItsTheHolidays

Exactly.

I find it is a very small % of degree holders who are actually very intelligent (I say this as someone with a degree from a US public Ivy university). I would also say an equal very small % of non-degree holders are very intelligent.

Is Bill Gates an idiot? Was Steve Jobs an idiot? No, of course not, and neither of them have/had degrees.

Circumstances mean people get degrees. But actual high levels of intelligence are rare.

@gingerbreadsprinkle

You seem to know, and be very vocal in insisting, you know better than all on this thread, including me about my own CV.

Have you thought of getting a hobby, or some humility?

Iltavilli

I said I totally believed you. Complete genius and engineer of all industries. Sure. You can move on now.