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Original poster

Would you forgive a partner for doing cocaine as a one off?

158 replies

MysteryManchild · 28/07/2019 01:30

Have a one year old dd at home, he’s very recklass with drinking and had a tendency to start fights/go wild and gamble money while drunk, never this though.

Really don’t want to drip feed so honestly he hasn’t always been the nicest to me and I suspect a bit of an alcohol problem but he drinks so rarely that I’ve let it slid.

Ex partner was an alcohol and coke addict which may be clouding my judgement but I want to pack his bags..

OP posts:
madcatladyforever · 28/07/2019 07:45

The one off cocaine wouldn't bother me but the rest of his behaviour would.
He doesn't sound like a person I would want to spend the rest of my life with.

saraclara · 28/07/2019 07:45

he’s very recklass with drinking and had a tendency to start fights/go wild and gamble money while drunk

He'd be nowhere near my one year old based on that.

KatherineJaneway · 28/07/2019 07:50

I agree with pp, one off taking cocaine is a non issue for me but his behaviour is like that of a troubled teen. I wouldn't allow the relationship to continue.

AlwaysCheddar · 28/07/2019 07:51

I would have changed the locks and packed his bags for all of it - including very likely his cheating. He’s a dick every way you look st him. Walk away from the relationship. He’s a shit husband and a shittier dad.

MsTSwift · 28/07/2019 07:53

It’s all quite embarrassing you are presumably adults with your own child? Poor kid with these teenage dramatics going on around her - you too what’s with all the can’t breathe stuff?

RLOU30 · 28/07/2019 07:58

I can't get past the "ill stroke your head until you fall asleep" text. Had to re read it.

FenellaMaxwell · 28/07/2019 07:59

He needs to go and you need to get some dignity. Don’t be begging him to come back and offering to stroke his head, get angry! He has done this to you and your child. It hasn’t been the first time he’s behaved irresponsibly and it won’t be the last.

leckford · 28/07/2019 08:03

Why do women have children with pointless men?

HUZZAH212 · 28/07/2019 08:03

Ho hum! So he's still not made it back by 7am due to partying in a hotel room... Fool on you if you take him back. You sound like you'll just let him stroll right over you and your Dd from the tone of your texts. He's a bellend and if you let him treat you like a doormat you'll be setting a precedent for yourself and your daughter that men can fill you full of shit and you'll lap it up... Sorry, I know that's harsh. But you can only set your bar as low as you're prepared to be treated by others.

Tiredtessy · 28/07/2019 08:16

I don’t believe this is his first time doing coke and won’t be the last and he won’t Leave the hotel room Cos once you start it you can’t stop and I talk from experience. But I don’t think that is the problem, the problem is, he’s a liar and a pig and you and your daughter deserve way more than that.

Shoxfordian · 28/07/2019 08:21

He sounds like a waste of space
You've gone from one addict to another, you shld dump him and just focus on your daughter

HUZZAH212 · 28/07/2019 08:30

I read your other thread - the bloke doesn't even want to marry you and amazingly tonight he's suddenly professing being your fiance. He's got debt and anger issues alongside potential alcohol and now drug ones. You need to access support to leave for you and your Dd. Do the freedom programme and connect with any one supportive around you. Do not settle for someone whose a wanker because you're too scared to be alone. It's better to be single and a strong role model for your child. In 17yrs from now do you want your Dd begging a loser to be with her because she thinks that's all she's worth?

Nautiloid · 28/07/2019 08:35

As a one off from an otherwise decent person, yes.

This man, no. Flowers

NerrSnerr · 28/07/2019 09:22

Of course it's not a one off. Do you want your daughter growing up with him as a role model? Fighting, doing drugs acting like an idiot?

Why did you offer to stroke his head? It's bonkers. Save your energy for your child.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 28/07/2019 09:37

he’s very recklass with drinking and had a tendency to start fights/go wild and gamble money

I have ditched him as soon as I realised this and certainly would never of had a child with him.

Why are you focusing on the drug use when there’s no much else to focus on?

Any drug use would see me end a relationship instantly. I won’t tolerate it.

Original poster
MysteryManchild · 28/07/2019 09:48

My god. He turned up stinking of perfume at 8am. Sobbing. Spent 500 pound in a strip club. God knows how much on drugs and alcohol and thehotel room, and he hates giving me any money.

OP posts:
Original poster
MysteryManchild · 28/07/2019 09:50

He’s a mess. Sobbing begging me not to leave, vomiting and on his knees. His mum is almost here but he’s saying he’s not going to survive if I leave. All in front of dd

OP posts:
Original poster
MysteryManchild · 28/07/2019 09:51

His mum told me I can’t leave in case he does anything stupid Hmm he’s following me around the house saying he will follow us if we leave the house. Trying to get him to sleep

OP posts:
thelaststraw123 · 28/07/2019 09:55

If he's been taking cocaine all night he probably won't be sleeping for a while.

My ex was a massive cocaine user and kept telling me he would stop etc, I ended up leaving after he strangled me 🙄

I think you know what you need to do deep down. It doesn't seem like a healthy relationship for you or your DD

BinkyBaa · 28/07/2019 09:57

Tbh it's the fighting and gambling I'd be concerned about.
Trying cocaine one time isn't that big of a deal. Reckless behaviour as a standard is a problem.

saraclara · 28/07/2019 10:00

I don't normally join in the LTB thing, but if you have anywhere to go, you must go.
If it's your place, he needs to go.Tell his mum to take him with her, if she's so concerned.

easyandy101 · 28/07/2019 10:00

"One off"

lol

NerrSnerr · 28/07/2019 10:02

Go out. Tell him to leave you alone and call the police if he hassles you. He spent £500+ on a drunk/ drug fuelled night. That could be spent on his child. You need to get rid.

TooTrueToBeGood · 28/07/2019 10:04

Stop being such a wet blanket. You're a mother - start behaving like one. Frankly, if you continue to pander to this dick of a partner you are really just as bad as he is.

notapizzaeater · 28/07/2019 10:07

Ignore his mum, he's not your problem. He's a grown adult. You need to act like a grown woman and not listen to them