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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH has disappeared and left son at a festival

945 replies

dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 00:04

My DH is a recovering alcoholic and has seemed to be doing really well. He took my 15 year old son to a festival today at the other end of the country. At about 7pm he told my son he was going to the toilet and has not been heard of since. My son has Aspergers and is in the tent really scared. I cannot get there until 11 o’clock tomorrow as they have the car and I will have to get a train. On one hand I am beyond angry but also terrified as he has tried to kill himself when drunk before. I am beside myself with worry. What can I do?

OP posts:
Isatis · 27/07/2019 05:09

ChristonaScooter, you really think that, by the time of your post, OP should have spent well over 3.5 hours "ringing round", despite having made contact with the police within half an hour of starting to post on here? How many more people can she usefully phone in the middle of the night?

DaisyChainsGetBroken · 27/07/2019 05:13

Safe travel

CoffeeRunner · 27/07/2019 05:14

I hope you find your DS & DH safe & well today OP.

DS I’m sure will be OK - probably asleep for the next few hours at least.

DH. Yes I’d be angry. But scared & worried first and foremost. Once you know be is also safe & well, then you can have a serious think about what you want to do from here.

Best of luck OP. I’ll be thinking of you this morning Flowers.

WoofWoofMooWoof · 27/07/2019 05:14

I echo all the others OP - I hope your son and DH are OK. Although if I was in your DH's shoes, and he is drunk somewhere, I wouldn't want to be there when you got there.

Please let us know what happens.

Userplusnumbers · 27/07/2019 05:18

Glad your DS is getting some sleep OP. hope your husband is located by the time you get there!

Good luck!

CoffeeQueen24 · 27/07/2019 05:20

You did the right thing calling the police they will be able to keep checking in on your ds until you can get there. Hope you’re ok op 💐

PartOstrich · 27/07/2019 05:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PremierNaps · 27/07/2019 05:24

I hope everything is ok. I would be so furious with DH! Your poor DS

ThomasFurious · 27/07/2019 05:29

Good luck x

Beebeezed · 27/07/2019 05:30

How horrible
Hope your son is ok Flowers

Futureplanning · 27/07/2019 05:31

What an awful night you've had, not long until you're on your way now.

I hope your ds is ok and your dh, you must be going through a whole mix of emotions.

treenu · 27/07/2019 05:32

Thinking of you - hope you can get some relief soon.

AddictedToRadley · 27/07/2019 05:33

Safe journey OP. I concur with PPs who have said you did the right thing in contacting the police. My DS doesn’t have ASD and I would be just as worried as you are. Adding in the ASD must intensify your feelings. Hope all is ok. Please do update us when you can. Flowers

MintyT · 27/07/2019 05:35

Safe journey, what a worry, I hope your H is ok as well.

QueenofmyPrinces · 27/07/2019 05:42

How worrying for you - I would be beside myself with worry. I hope your husband is found safe and then you start to deal with the aftermath of it all x

Zoflorabore · 27/07/2019 05:44

Feel for you op. My 16yr old ds has Aspergers and is a terrible worrier, as am I.

Everything seems worse in the middle of the night. Your priority right now is your ds as you know. One thing at a time.
Once you have located your ds then it's time to make plans to find your dh. God help him when you do though...

Seriously, I hope everything is ok Flowers

Oysterbabe · 27/07/2019 05:44

I hope your DS is OK. What a horrible situation.

Whoopstheregomyinsides · 27/07/2019 05:44

You poor thing. This is exactly what Mumsnet is good for. Same, calm rational advice at any time of day. Good luck this morning

AutumnCrow · 27/07/2019 05:48

Safe journey, OP.

oatmilk4breakfast · 27/07/2019 05:53

Yes it’s going to be a potentially horrible journey worrying all the way - remember food for yourself and music maybe to take your mind from anxiety?

Original poster
dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 05:54

Thank you everyone, I’m just waiting for the cab to pick me up and take me to the station. DH phone is back on but he isn’t picking up so I guess he is in the tent. I tried ringing my son but he didn’t answer either but The tent has 2bedrooms so he might not have heard DH. I will ring him when I am on the train.

OP posts:
Yawninfinitum · 27/07/2019 05:59

I’m so sorry he had put you through this OP and hope you get to your son ASAP

Is there any chance your DH would be angry/violent when you arrive and try to leave with your son?
Are you planning on driving your DH home too?

If you feel at all scared you could ask the festival security to accompany you to the tent.

HennyPennyHorror · 27/07/2019 06:00

I'd keep bloody ringing over and over again if I were you. How dare he just do that!?? If he's turned his phone on then he's able to pick up your call.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 27/07/2019 06:00

Good luck @dogletsrock

I know this is telling you what you may already know but resist the urge to go nuclear at DH as DS will probably be v shaken up by his experience.

When he’s settled and calm and secure then you can consider your options.

TriptychDebbie · 27/07/2019 06:02

Just been reading this thread with growing horror. I hope your son's safe OP. I'd never forgive a partner who did something like this. How on earth could you possibly trust him again?

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