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Original poster

DH has disappeared and left son at a festival

945 replies

dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 00:04

My DH is a recovering alcoholic and has seemed to be doing really well. He took my 15 year old son to a festival today at the other end of the country. At about 7pm he told my son he was going to the toilet and has not been heard of since. My son has Aspergers and is in the tent really scared. I cannot get there until 11 o’clock tomorrow as they have the car and I will have to get a train. On one hand I am beyond angry but also terrified as he has tried to kill himself when drunk before. I am beside myself with worry. What can I do?

OP posts:
Chune · 27/07/2019 11:54

namechangeninjaevervigilant

Why on earth would you presume that her husband would be driving, or that the OP is daft enough not to figure that out for herself?

She’s already said she had a spare key for the car to drive it back anyway

Theimpossiblegirl · 27/07/2019 11:55

Op, you are so strong. While I'm gutted this has happened to you and your son, I am full of admiration for your actions. Your son had the best mother in his corner. I'd want you with me in a crisis.
Once you are home expect the emotions to hit, rally your support network and decide what to do from there.
Flowers Flowers Flowers

EleanorReally · 27/07/2019 11:56

so sorry he put you both through this op Thanks Sad

purplelass · 27/07/2019 11:57

Finally got him, he is ok

What a blessed relief, thank you for letting us know. I hope you're all OK x

AnotherEmma · 27/07/2019 11:57

Glad you've been reunited with your son. I'm sure he was happy and relieved to see you and will be glad to get home.

Sounds as if you both need a good sleep! Will you ask your husband to stay elsewhere so you can have space to rest and think?

IamAporcupine · 27/07/2019 11:57

So glad to hear you are with your son now!
Have a safe drive

VenusStarr · 27/07/2019 11:58

You are an amazing mum OP, so pleased you have been reunited with your boy. I can't imagine the anxiety and worry you must have been feeling. Safe journey home ❤️

Coka · 27/07/2019 11:58

I am glad they are both ok. I would be worried about this post being picked up by a journalist.

MrMeSeeks · 27/07/2019 11:58

Your son was so brave, he must have been so worried.

howdyalikemenow · 27/07/2019 12:01

Just rtft- so sorry your son had to go through this op but glad you found ds. Wishing you well Thanks

ThePhoenixRises · 27/07/2019 12:01

Glad you have both of them

Catanddogmake6 · 27/07/2019 12:02

Op, very glad you found your son. You and he should be very proud of how well he coped. I just wanted to remind you to take time for yourself. Once the adrenaline runs out, the likelihood is you may crash a bit. All perfectly normal but just take care of you, when it happens.

bwydda · 27/07/2019 12:04

Your poor ds. He shouldn't have had to deal with this at his age, he was so responsible and brave. I hope you and he are okay x

PonderingPanda · 27/07/2019 12:04

Well done OP. You have coped amazingly Flowers

StCharlotte · 27/07/2019 12:04

Safe journey OP Smile

ThatCurlyGirl · 27/07/2019 12:07

Your poor boy, I've been lost at a festival as an adult and that was scary enough - let alone sitting alone in his tent feeling unsafe and worrying about his dad. For what it's worth it sounds like him and you have both coped with this brilliantly.

If your DH is anything other than utterly mortified and grovelling then I think you're going to need some time to cool off and show DS that the risk to him and his response to it (understandably scared) is being taken seriously. For your partner's own good as well as DS - consequences are the only thing to force us to change sometimes.

You poor things I'm so glad you're all OK Thanks

Pinkybutterfly · 27/07/2019 12:07

Op so sorry for u and Ur son. If I was u i would kick husband out of the house.

tenredthings · 27/07/2019 12:09

Well done for being there for your son Thanks

Theworldcouldbemymollusc · 27/07/2019 12:09

Glad your son is safe. You’re a better woman than me if you are driving your dh home. I would be tempted to leave him to rot in the tent.

PonderingPanda · 27/07/2019 12:09

As you said previously you need to have a think on the next step, but ultimately your DH addiction put your son at risk.

I agree DH needs help and support but also, how much is this affecting you and DS by giving it.

In the end you have to put yourself and your son first and if that means that DH has to leave, then so be it. From what you have posted you have been completely supportive and understanding to DH and his addiction but this situation shows that now DH is still putting his addiction before the needs of his family so maybe he now needs to go it alone so he reaches rock bottom and realises what he has done

CherithPonsonby · 27/07/2019 12:09

I would be kicking husband out as well. What an arsehole.

mononokeswolf · 27/07/2019 12:10

Thanks for you OP

gingeristhenewblack43 · 27/07/2019 12:13

Glad you managed to get to your DS and that everyone is safe OP. You've had a very stressful night, drive safely Brew

BarryTheKestrel · 27/07/2019 12:14

OP I'm so glad you got to him and your DS is safe.

Take your time to think and deal with DH when you're ready.

InsertFunnyUsername · 27/07/2019 12:14

Glad they are safe OP.