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Original poster

DH has disappeared and left son at a festival

945 replies

dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 00:04

My DH is a recovering alcoholic and has seemed to be doing really well. He took my 15 year old son to a festival today at the other end of the country. At about 7pm he told my son he was going to the toilet and has not been heard of since. My son has Aspergers and is in the tent really scared. I cannot get there until 11 o’clock tomorrow as they have the car and I will have to get a train. On one hand I am beyond angry but also terrified as he has tried to kill himself when drunk before. I am beside myself with worry. What can I do?

OP posts:
chipsandgin · 27/07/2019 11:27

Did you type that with your cat’s bum face on @azulmariposa**

You rock @idontno 😂. Also initially read that without the ‘on’ at the end.

Hope all ok OP Flowers

Dustybun · 27/07/2019 11:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dudsville · 27/07/2019 11:27

I'm very glad for you. You have a difficult negotiation coming up, but you've five what's needed for now. Hope you get home quickly and safely.

Passthecherrycoke · 27/07/2019 11:29

Well done OP

Sparklyring · 27/07/2019 11:29

So pleased you've got to them and they're both safe. Hope you come to the decision that's right for you regarding your H.

LittlefairyMum · 27/07/2019 11:29

Yay!!! Smile

Delighted for you OP
You have handled this brilliantly.

Well done to everyone else who supported you through the night too X

MoseShrute · 27/07/2019 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeddybearBaby · 27/07/2019 11:30

Drive safely. You must be exhausted. Glad you’ve been reunited with your son and good luck deciding what to do with regards to your husband 💐

RedWoollyHat · 27/07/2019 11:30

Jemima232 Sat 27-Jul-19 11:05:52
When you find your DH let him come back to sobriety before discussing this. Obviously it's a bad situation but this is what alcoholics do.

People saying it would be a deal-breaker for them clearly do not understand the nature of alcoholism. OP said that her DH was doing well. She is obviously supportive of him.

Her DH needs her every bit as much as her DS does.

Actually, people saying it would be a deal-breaker for them may well understand the nature of addiction. They may understand the concept of enabling, which is what you may be doing by staying with an addict. You can delude yourself you're still "functioning" when you still appear to have your family there for you. As a recovering alcoholic I had to lose everything before the switch went off in my brain that made me really commit to finally getting help.

Rivkka · 27/07/2019 11:31

Glad you've got him. Drive safely.

Sooverthemill · 27/07/2019 11:32

Good luck OP. Look after yourself too.

Lilyofthefields · 27/07/2019 11:32

I was up with you at 3am this morning, am absolutely shattered right now and am so, so, so pleased to read your update. Wishing you lots of strength, wisdom and love.

RedWoollyHat · 27/07/2019 11:32

Drive safe OP. You must be shattered. I'm so glad your son is ok. You dealt with this so well.

Groovee · 27/07/2019 11:33

Glad you have ds x

RandomWok · 27/07/2019 11:34

Sorry cross post OP. Glad you've got your son take care.

GirlDownUnder · 27/07/2019 11:34

Sorry you were right about DH. Glad that you're all together again.

Hard conversations ahead OP BrewThanks

acatcalledjohn · 27/07/2019 11:35

I'm glad you found your son, though I am staggered at the selfishness of your H. He chose to jeopardise the safety of your 15 YO son with aspergers for his own alcohol fix.

I can't think of anything he could do to make things better as it sounds like he's had (and blown) several chances already.

Thanks for you OP.

HollowTalk · 27/07/2019 11:35

You are a very strong woman and your son is very lucky to have you (and vice versa, of course.)

ChestyNut · 27/07/2019 11:35

Focus on getting you all home safely Flowers

I’m sorry DH has relapsed, addiction is terrible for everyone. You must be so disappointed with him.

I hope you come to the right decision for you all Cake

Closetbeanmuncher · 27/07/2019 11:36

OP i would urge you to seriously consider the impact of your husband on yours and your sons future well being.

He chose to leave your son, a vunerable minor alone so he could get blind drunk. Your husband is not your responsability so please dont spend your life being at the whim of his toxic decisions and clearing up his mess.

I won't talk to him as he will be feeling sorry for himself and find a way to blame me

This part in particular gives a massive insight into the level of responsibility he takes (zero) and the seriousness (also zero) he places on his "recovery".

Coffeeandchocolate9 · 27/07/2019 11:39

I'm SO glad you have reached your son safe and sound, and I'm glad your H is safe too. ( it's the last post of page 23 for those looking)

Look after yourself and your son. Flowers

4yearsnosleep · 27/07/2019 11:39

Phew. I've been reading this since 4am. So relieved for you. Good luck

mygrandchildrenrock · 27/07/2019 11:40

Thanks for the update OP and glad everyone is safe.
I hope you and your OH do manage to talk things through, you sound like a very strong woman and a great mother.

Sparrowlegs248 · 27/07/2019 11:41

Good news OP. Safe journey home. Take your time over your next move.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 27/07/2019 11:42

I can't imagine how awful this has been for you. Good call re DH as serious words need to be had. There's a big difference between him having a blip and potentially putting himself in danger, and leaving your son unattended overnight at a festival.