DH has disappeared and left son at a festival

[dogletsrock]

My DH is a recovering alcoholic and has seemed to be doing really well. He took my 15 year old son to a festival today at the other end of the country. At about 7pm he told my son he was going to the toilet and has not been heard of since. My son has Aspergers and is in the tent really scared. I cannot get there until 11 o’clock tomorrow as they have the car and I will have to get a train. On one hand I am beyond angry but also terrified as he has tried to kill himself when drunk before. I am beside myself with worry. What can I do?

Good luck, OP.

Well, she can. She can get a day ticket if there are any. If there aren t, it’s daytime, ds knows where she is, so if he wants to he can stay and watch bands and meet her later.

I think that would be a great way of taking the edge off a bad experience for your ds.

Oh op I've just read through and I cant imagine the worry you've been going through.

I hope all turns out well x

Hope it’s all working out ok OP 🤞🏻

Hope you so get home safely op,what a terrible experience for you both xx

What a scary situation to be in @dogletsrock , hope you've nearly arrived now

Good luck OP, guess you’re there now. Hope you’re DS is ok

Your FFS

I will be thinking of you today OP. I so hope your DS is alright. If you have the energy, push the situation with your DH aside for the minute. Today has to be about DS... the issues your DH’s behaviour has presented are too big to be contemplated right now.
Be the safe space for your DS today and deal with the rest on some sleep and at home. Do what your know will make DS feel safe and calm first.
Good luck and calm coming your way from me.

Just joining in to hope that your DS is okay (and your DH too) and that you are reunited now with your son. Take care of yourself today too

“I bet he'll just want to get away from the whole situation. You do know he isn't with a groups of friends just an errant and unreliable dad who has caused great upset and anxiety don't you?”

Yes of course I do. And yes of course he probably will. But he might not. I think the OP should give him the option if at all possible. I think it’s really important how this next bit is handled.

Just caught up with the thread, best of luck OP. Im sure the site security will be as helpful as possible!

Good luck op and well done for staying calm. I would be wanting my DS to come home with me in these circumstances. Your DH doesn’t sound stable and I’d be worried he’d disappear again.

Thinking of you OP
Bertram you have talked sense x

Totally agree with @BertrandRussell. Hope all is ok with your ds op

I think it’s really important how this next bit is handled.

Absolutely. This has been very stressful for the OP. But responding calmly and positively with the son is going to be important. It's one of those times when we have to shove our emotions out of the way a bit, and be calm and encouraging with our kids.

I hope you find your son and he's ok. I hope your find your husband too and are able to work out what happened. Please look after yourself too. You've been through a lot in the last few hours too x

Good luck OP

Bloody hell op, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Hope you’re as ok as you can be

Hope your DS is ok and you find each other (and your car) easily.

The dad (we assume) has behaved really badly but if he’s turned up and is being sensible now, I’m not sure dragging them both home is the right thing to do.

Good luck OP, I hope you find it easy to get to your son once you get there.

Hope you’re all OK OP. It’s a horrible situation.

BertrandRussell is wise.
I found a little girl sobbing her heart out once, she’d got separated in a big crowd, we found her parents, who then went at each other hammer and tongs while i stood there holding the little girl’s hand. I did stop them and they were horrified when they realised what they were doing, but sometimes emotion just takes over.