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Original poster

DH has disappeared and left son at a festival

945 replies

dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 00:04

My DH is a recovering alcoholic and has seemed to be doing really well. He took my 15 year old son to a festival today at the other end of the country. At about 7pm he told my son he was going to the toilet and has not been heard of since. My son has Aspergers and is in the tent really scared. I cannot get there until 11 o’clock tomorrow as they have the car and I will have to get a train. On one hand I am beyond angry but also terrified as he has tried to kill himself when drunk before. I am beside myself with worry. What can I do?

OP posts:
NotMeNoNo · 27/07/2019 09:49

Good grief I haven't RTFT but DH works at festivals, the festival management /event control will have a safety plan for lost/vulnerable people and they will absolutely help you, just ask on the gate to speak to someone in the management.

sadkoala · 27/07/2019 09:49

Hope everything works out ok op .

LillithsFamiliar · 27/07/2019 09:50

She knows that he definitely disappeared and left their teen with Aspergers alone for over 5 hours after saying he was just going to the toilet.

closetoptimist · 27/07/2019 09:51

which festival is it? My other half is Production manager at camp Bestival, on site now.if you think I could help please PM me.
X

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 27/07/2019 09:51

Wishing you all the luck in the world OP

ThePhoenixRises · 27/07/2019 09:51

Please tell your son how amazingly he did, keeping calm and by doing the right thing in calling you and staying in the tent where he felt safe.

Hope you are reunited with him soon.

youngestisapsycho · 27/07/2019 09:53

Hope all is well and your son is OK?

LL83 · 27/07/2019 09:53

@GibbonLover I believe dh phone has been on, so no contact but op thinks he must be back at tent tonight charge.

ZebrasAreBras · 27/07/2019 09:53

Thanks OP. What a nightmare.

GibbonLover · 27/07/2019 09:53

Well yes Lilith, it says that in the OP. I'm just wondering what I have missed as comments like What tour dh has done is quite unforgivable indicate that we know what DH has actually done. That we know WHY he has gone AWOL.

azulmariposa · 27/07/2019 09:54

111 are going to try and get in touch with the police at the festival. They have taken my details so I am just waiting

Really?!? 111 is the number for the nhs non-emergency number. I do hope you called the police non-emergency number which is 101.

firsttimegoing · 27/07/2019 09:54

Hope all is ok Flowers

daisypond · 27/07/2019 09:54

closetoptimist OP has said which festival. It’s not Bestival.

Fcukthisshit · 27/07/2019 09:56

Hope all is ok op. What a scary situation for your son x

BertrandRussell · 27/07/2019 09:56

“Bertrand, OP can't stay and let him see bands, she has no ticket and the dh is unreliable if he turns up again.“

Well, she can. She can get a day ticket if there are any. If there aren t, it’s daytime, ds knows where she is, so if he wants to he can stay and watch bands and meet her later.

GibbonLover · 27/07/2019 09:59

But the main thing is, I've not actually missed a comment then? Sorry, I should have said, I picked up my new specs yesterday and I'm not getting along with them.

golddustwomen · 27/07/2019 09:59

Op, I hope your son is okay Thanks

Idontno · 27/07/2019 10:00

Did you type that with your cat’s bum face on @azulmariposa?

GeorgieO · 27/07/2019 10:01

Good luck today, OP. My (bipolar alcoholic father) did this when I was a teenager. Ended up with half the county police force looking for me. I didn’t speak to him for months after but lived to tell the tale and tell a funny story about the incident now. My mum being the ‘grown-up’ in the situation (including giving my Dad an absolute bollocking) gave me the confidence and security I needed afterwards.

AudacityOfHope · 27/07/2019 10:03

Good luck OP, hope all's well when you get there Thanks

Mummymummums · 27/07/2019 10:04

Oh bless you OP, I can see from the thread that you've had no sleep at all.
Hugely worrying for you but your son was fine and has got through the night.
I do hope DH is ok but if not if I were you he'd have hellfire and fury raining down on him. At home, not in the middle of a festival where some people might be coming down from a trip.
My view is that you have now reached that stage with DH where he's hit rock bottom in leaving your son in that situation when he was in a position of trust and needed to be depended on. If you can forgive him and I don't know that I could, it's do or die time. If he's prone to relapses then sadly he needs to accept he can't do these sort of outings until he's much further down the recovery route.
I really hope he recognises that this is the day everything must change.

NorthEndGal · 27/07/2019 10:06

I hope today brings answers and relief

HouseworkAvoider10 · 27/07/2019 10:06

Hope everything is ok.

Chimpfield · 27/07/2019 10:07

Good luck OP x

Groovee · 27/07/2019 10:08

Hoping you are nearly there and your ds has had some sleep.