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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH has disappeared and left son at a festival

945 replies

dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 00:04

My DH is a recovering alcoholic and has seemed to be doing really well. He took my 15 year old son to a festival today at the other end of the country. At about 7pm he told my son he was going to the toilet and has not been heard of since. My son has Aspergers and is in the tent really scared. I cannot get there until 11 o’clock tomorrow as they have the car and I will have to get a train. On one hand I am beyond angry but also terrified as he has tried to kill himself when drunk before. I am beside myself with worry. What can I do?

OP posts:
TemporaryPermanent · 27/07/2019 07:29

Just to say I have posted some really extreme circumstances on MN because I didn't want to talk to family or friends at the time, or because I'd already talked to them. It's not always the best idea in fact but I've also had such kind support on here. Don't be afraid to tell people in RL though. Hope things work out today x

Original poster
dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 07:30

You can leave the site. So I will meet my son at the gate. I will work out how to get the car when I get there.

OP posts:
Tittybiscuit · 27/07/2019 07:32

I hope you get them home safely. Good luck x

superfudge · 27/07/2019 07:32

Sorry you've had such a traumatic night OP, you've done so well to protect your boy by the actions you have taken.

I hope you, your son and your husband are all ok and come through this experience.

Take care.

Original poster
dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 07:33

I am really not a troll and this is really happening. I don't post often but I have talked about him before. The problem is that he can be doing really well for months at a time and then he falls over quite often spectacularly

OP posts:
Satsuma1234 · 27/07/2019 07:33

Hope all is ok OP and your son is ok too.

CupoTeap · 27/07/2019 07:35

Op don't give trollhunters headspace - hope you get to your sonsoon x

HettySunshine · 27/07/2019 07:36

Ignore the troll hunters op. I hope all is well.

londonrach · 27/07/2019 07:37

Op...when you get there tell a member of the staff what happened. As they have a record of your police phone call and should take you to your car. Good luck. Youve been a super mum here x

Smilingthru · 27/07/2019 07:38

OP this is awful. I am so sorry. I hope you manage to get to you son. X

purplelass · 27/07/2019 07:38

You've dealt with an unforeseeable situation in the best way OP, I can't imagine how amazing it will feel when you're with your son again!
I hope he and your husband are both OK and you can all find a way to get through this.
Take care of you, you've had one hell of a night and will need time to process it all
Flowers

YouJustDoYou · 27/07/2019 07:38

Op you're a great mum, I hope your son is ok. The utter white hot rage I would have if my husband did that...

rwalker · 27/07/2019 07:39

Hope DS is ok no advice on DH as until you have experienced and lived with an alcoholic and seen what it does to people you have no idea.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/07/2019 07:39

@Dhalandchips if so then you're one of us and know I'd rather be outed and try to get the lad to us where he'd be safe

@dogletsrock hope your boy is OK, and your DH too.

Salene · 27/07/2019 07:39

Addiction is such a awful thing to battle so in that I feel for your husband but in this circumstances he has put his son at risk and that's a deal breaker , if it was me he would need to seek professional help to finally beat his demons or that would be it for me. I hope you get it sorted op what a awful worry for u

MrsFrankCastle · 27/07/2019 07:39

Good luck op, what a horrible situation for you to be in Flowersq

GirlFliesHome · 27/07/2019 07:40

Good luck OP. Thanks

Wynston · 27/07/2019 07:40

Good luck op x

Whoopstheregomyinsides · 27/07/2019 07:41

Glad you’re on your way x

Sirzy · 27/07/2019 07:41

Good luck today. I am sure the staff on site will help with regards the car especially as they will be aware of your reports last night

iano · 27/07/2019 07:42

Hope you get to your son soon OP!

picklemepopcorn · 27/07/2019 07:42

Good luck, dog!

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 27/07/2019 07:43

You must be frantic OP with worry.I cannot begin to comprehend how you are functioning.I truly hope all turns out well for you all and you will soon have your son back safe and well with you..as for your husband well thats for another day ..I hope he is ok too.Your son will be so happy to see you bless him.What an ordeal for you all...I send my best wishes ..

Cotswoldcapers · 27/07/2019 07:45

Good luck doglet. Hope you’re all ok. x

Kahlua4me · 27/07/2019 07:45

I hope all goes smoothly and you get to your son soon. Hopefully he will be feeling calmer and safer as it is now daytime and light. Darkness always makes things more frightening.

As for dh, I would leave him to sort himself out. Sadly, you cannot help an alcoholic who is drinking, only support their recovery. Did ds say if he had noticed his dad drinking during the day at all? Seems odd that he vanished and left ds if he was sober at the time. Although maybe the lure of alcohol became too much as he was around it all day.

Dh can be dealt with at another time, for now I would just think about ds - getting to him, hugging him and telling him how well he did to manage a situation that was out of his comfort zone. He certainly did well to manage himself and took the right steps to keep control.

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