Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Petty things you still can't forgive people for

503 replies

Milkbath · 26/07/2019 13:22

I have two

First one is my SIL (husband's sister)
She means well, but we're very different people, and she can be brash and overbearing. We're constantly working on maintaining boundaries for her, as otherwise she'd stamp all over them.

When I had my baby, she arrived unannounced a few days after we came home. This coincided with the community midwife visiting, and instead of making her excuses and leaving, SIL sat there and listened as the midwife asked me all the usual questions, some of which were extremely personal. Meanwhile SIL's toddler DC was trashing the house. In hindsight I wish I'd said something, but I was so weak and exhausted. The midwife should have as well, she kept glancing over at sil with that sort of expectant "time to fuck off now" look but sil has the hide of a rhino. Midwife was younger than I was at the time and I think she was a bit intimidated too. Even sometimes now I think back to it and it infuriates me!

OP posts:
D2R2 · 28/07/2019 14:06

Everyone involved in my wedding day.

My mum for being difficult about everything. Right up to the morning I got married. For hurrying us out of our hotel room the following morning because she wanted to go home. Then moaning days afterwards that her mate (who was lucky to be invited as I'd never met her!) didn't get any cake because she left early.

My inlaws for wanting to get ready in my room on the morning of my wedding. Mil for wanting the make up lady to do her first.

My bridesmaids for falling out with each other and leaving me with just one of them on the day.

My mil's mates who moaned that somebody else got their thank you card before they did. I sent them out in batches that's all.

It was a real eye opener of how selfish people are. I ended up at the doctors with stress.

SaraNade · 28/07/2019 14:21

A friend who, when I was staying overnight at her house, asked my if I liked chicken legs (we were having a hot chicken) and I said yes, and she said so do I and my brother. She took a leg for herself, gave me some of the chicken flesh, and saved a leg for her brother....

Hmm This was when we were in our late teens. I am 20+ years older, and still occasionally think about it.

Hoggytat · 28/07/2019 14:25

At 6 years old my DS, newly diagnosed with ASD & sensory processing issues, still had problems with incontinance both during the day and at night.

My friend declared that the reason for this was due to my bad parenting and that if she was his mother she'd sort him out in a day by being very firm.

With medical intervention my DS became dry at night, age 12. He's a teenager now and is still incontinent during the day because his bowel doesn't work.

She keeps asking to friends on Facebook and is put out that I keep declining her.

Another one, my ex saying is was making things up when I took DS for ASD diagnosis on advice of the school. To be fair there's quite a lot of things I haven't forgiven the knobjockey for.

beccarocksbaby · 28/07/2019 14:59

My best friend accusing me of stealing from her at 17. I didn't. I had no need to. She used to steal all the time from stores too.

My ex husband being a drunk and my ds and I not being enough for him to stop.

My current boss being the biggest two faced bitch I've ever known and a terrible manager let alone leader.

Someone I work with saying they will buy lunch and then leaving pregnant me 3 hours until they got it. I nearly vomited waiting.

My step mum refusing to take me to get my GCSE results. There was one bus a day between where we lived and my school and she didn't tell me she wouldn't take me until after it had left. My grandfather came and picked me up and took me.

GiggleMcDimples · 28/07/2019 15:32

A teacher made me stand with my nose against the wall for doing something that I didn't do. It wasn't me but I got the blame for it.

I had a graze on my nose from her pushing my head back against the wall every time I moved my head to look at the other kids playing in the yard.

That was 34 years ago and the teacher is now dead. But I didn't fucking do it. Whatever it was.

MorrisZapp · 28/07/2019 15:35

I think the original intention of the thread has been lost now. I've got plenty of petty gripes but I can't post next to people's actual trauma.

Blueoasis · 28/07/2019 15:48

Mymycherrypie exactly, but apparently every 15 mins across the UK isn't enough for some people. Maybe we need to do personal screenings so that people like ElizaPancakes definitely get to watch it and get nothing spoilt.

If not, where does this "no spoilers" thing end? Can we discuss the ending to the sixth sense or will people get pissy for spoiling that too? It's insane how people make everything about them.

AnguaUberwaldIronfoundersson · 28/07/2019 15:56

@Thistimetomorrow thank you, please join me on the podium 🥇🎖🏆

Rescuedog12 · 28/07/2019 15:57

My sister went to boarding school ,my brother went to private school.when asked if I could go,said it would be a waste of money.

My sister and I passed our driving tests quite late in life.i was 29.My mother said Ds waits 20 minutes at a roundabout,and Rescuedog waits 10 minutes then pulls out in front of a lorry.

I was 43 and at a family meal,and laughed at something,my mother told me to behave myself.

When I was 12 I'd asked for several years for a bike so I could ride to school.One day she said she'd got one in the local auction and I had to go and get it.It was several miles away,I was dropped off there and immediately left alone.The bike had a flat tyre,as well as being a total wreck.Obviously had to walk home.put it in back garden .Next morning it was gone.The bin men had taken it.i never got another.

The80sweregreat · 28/07/2019 15:58

Christians are the worst at forgiveness and I have had examples in the past! Other people say it too. (Not everyone of course , but I can think of two)
My gripe is my wedding photographer who messed up and thirty years on I still bear a grudge.

malificent7 · 28/07/2019 16:08

My flatmate who was jealous i was pregnant (and alone) made me clean her oven for her with toxic substances. Bitch.

Elliebellbell · 28/07/2019 16:08

My line manager telling me I could contact her any time for a chat and she would always support me yet when I did she blanked me then eventually sent a mealy mouthed "I'm in a difficult position" text.

Two faced incompetent cunt.

dustarr73 · 28/07/2019 16:15

@malificent7 how did she make you.Did she stand there with a gun at your head.

And the poster annoyed at someone misgendering and fat shaming your cat.Really,thats the most ridiculous thing i have heard.

NavyBlueHue · 28/07/2019 16:17

A friend who made no comment at all on the death of my DF. She was even stood there while others offered condolence and then started chatting about her day. She never referred to it once in any capacity.

I realise people sometimes struggle with death but I was struggling more and her blatant washover of my grief was unforgivable to me. Just a ‘sorry for your loss’ would have made it fine. Anything. But she acted as if it hadn’t happened. We’re no longer friends.

soapona · 28/07/2019 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRobotsAreComing · 28/07/2019 16:23

My sister picked open my Bang on the Door christmas advent calendar, pulled out the plastic insert, ate all the chocolates then put it back in... 20 years ago.

MrsZola · 28/07/2019 16:44

My DM, who decided that DS1s cousins needed to have presents on his birthday too, so they didn't feel left out! 25 years ago. I did say something, it never happened again, but still pisses me off.

Womble351 · 28/07/2019 17:09

The nasty gp surgery nurse who when I went there heavily bleeding at four months told me,”well all women have at least one miscarriage in their life,get a grip” I was blue lighted to hospital to find my daughters heartbeat perfect,her twin gone”😢
She was a cow and I’ve hated her ever since (the nurse not my daughter)

Doofletch · 28/07/2019 21:00

My stepmum announced the birth of my dad on FB before I did. Unforgivable!

Stampyourfeet · 28/07/2019 21:12

1.On a local Facebook selling page, my friend had first dibs (I was second) on an article of clothing that was very niche and very me (quite a rare thing) and she wouldn’t let me have it or pass to me the next in line, even though I know she’s never worn it, and never will. Our friendship was never the same after that.

2.A girl I used to be friends with when I was 8 stole my doggie brooch and I still remember, I’m 50 now.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 28/07/2019 21:29

My stepmum announced the birth of my dad on FB before I did. Unforgivable!

I presume that was a typo?! It's a bit difficult to be able to announce the birth of your own parent - or, indeed, to be the second spouse of somebody who's only just been born Grin

tomboytown · 28/07/2019 21:29

Binglebong, he was on the way to becoming my ex when he died, there’s lots of things I’ll never forgive him for. Sad

Scratch22 · 28/07/2019 22:49

The woman who answered the phone when I rang the doctors surgery when my miscarriage started to ask them for advice. Her abrupt, uncaring response to me when I was clearly in a distressed state was unacceptable. Why the hell do such horrible people work with the public? She eventually agreed to get a doctor to phone me back. By the time the doctor rang, I had been found by dh and he had called the ambulance. The paramedic was so kind I just burst into tears. Apparently the doctor said "oh good I'll let you crack on then" when dh answered the phone and told him I was now getting medical attention. Hmm

ethelfleda · 28/07/2019 23:02

Got married 3 years ago. SIL asked for our bank details to transfer some money as a present. She never did. She is loaded.

Jamiefraserskilt · 28/07/2019 23:39

When we moved to a new house when I was 10, I planted sunflower seeds along the fenceline, watering them daily and watched them growing in difficult soil. The neighbours decided to replace the fence, destroying my sunflower babies in one day. I seethed for weeks.
My friend had a party to which everyone was invited. She told me over and over her mum would pick me up as my mum had to leave for work about an hour before. Mum offered to drop me off on the way but I said her mum was collecting so not to worry. I sat there in the window for hours waiting but she didn't show. The next day she commented that I had not been there and I reminded her that she said her mum was supposed to get me. She denied it.