Petty things you still can't forgive people for

[Milkbath]

I have two

First one is my SIL (husband's sister)
She means well, but we're very different people, and she can be brash and overbearing. We're constantly working on maintaining boundaries for her, as otherwise she'd stamp all over them.

When I had my baby, she arrived unannounced a few days after we came home. This coincided with the community midwife visiting, and instead of making her excuses and leaving, SIL sat there and listened as the midwife asked me all the usual questions, some of which were extremely personal. Meanwhile SIL's toddler DC was trashing the house. In hindsight I wish I'd said something, but I was so weak and exhausted. The midwife should have as well, she kept glancing over at sil with that sort of expectant "time to fuck off now" look but sil has the hide of a rhino. Midwife was younger than I was at the time and I think she was a bit intimidated too. Even sometimes now I think back to it and it infuriates me!

The close friend who became a pest, visited our house uninvited or phoned literally every single day to scrounge stuff for free from my late husband, but who has only called once in the intervening 7 years since he died. I really need to move on...

Oh and a “work colleague” who went out of his way to deliberately “ensure” that my travel case was put in the wrong place on a 14 hour? flight to the Falkland Islands - when he knew I was getting off the flight at the half way point with him...so I had no bag and no clothes.

His own case was in the right place - obviously.

Still have no explanation for this. Years ago, I was pregnant, house sale fell through and we were going to be homeless and my uncle wouldn’t let us rent his flat. We offered to pay full rent and even commit to the whole year. He eventually rented it to a friends daughter, who I had to clean up after when they left.

A horrible boss who took money out of my coat pocket from the toilets, because he thought I was stealing (I just put my cigarettes back in there)
He told all the customers I’d been sacked for stealing without saying a word to me. I eventually went to a solicitor and got an apology from the company, but not him.
A woman I worked with who gave everyone a Christmas card except for me. It was obvious that she disliked me, but I’d done nothing wrong, she worked the shift before me, I was never late. It really hurt as no-one had ever disliked me before.

I have a December birthday and one year, when I was about 8, someone gave me a selection box. The next day, a girl my DSis and I couldn't stand but our DMs tried to force it, was brought round by her DM bearing Christmas gifts for DSis and me. This had never happened before so my DM didn't have a gift ready to reciprocate. One the pretext of making tea, DM disappeared into the kitchen, but I followed her because I really couldn't bear the girl, only to find DM frantically trying to wrap my selection box to give her.

I was livid and complained loudly and bitterly - they must have heard me! - but she carried on and promised to buy me another, but of course she didn't. I nagged every day about it, but she kept forgetting. I was so upset at having to give one of my birthday presents to a girl I disliked, especially as her gifts to DSis and me that year were a couple of biros in a fancy box! ! I brought it up every December until eventually in my 30s she got me a selection box for my birthday and said, "Happy now?"

But I wasn''t, as it was my only present from her - no actual present for that year's birthday. So I had a new grievance that got an annual airing for the rest of her life.

Our family dog died when I was 11 (my parents had him before I was born). I was naturally upset and told my friends at school. One girl in my class started laughing, made up a stupid rhyme about it and said, 'that's funny'. I slapped her face, HARD and got in so much trouble from our teacher (oh the injustice). Only time in my life I've ever raised my hand to anyone but I don't regret it. It's been almost 25 years and I haven't seen her in all that time but I still hate that little bitch!

Mine is our ur friends, with whom we had holidayed together all of our D.C.'s lives, booking another holiday than the one we had agreed to, and not telling us until it was too late to make alternative arrangements.
And then wanted to holiday with us this year!

Several, all involving DH family funnily enough.
DS made an early appearance right before Christmas (early by several weeks). Hospital let me pop home for Christmas Day, though didn’t officially discharge us until the next day. Had been in hospital for a few days already so minimal food in the house. MIL, FIL and SIL all come round empty handed and parked themselves on the sofa for the afternoon demanding tea/coffee as they’d just eaten their Christmas lunch. Meanwhile I tried to rustle up something for DH and I to eat for our Christmas lunch. No offers of help, no leftovers brought from their feast (that we were supposed to be at), not even to give DS a cuddle (after they’d taken a photo for FB).
FIL redeemed himself by coming round that week to help us with the IKEA order that we had scheduled to arrive a few weeks before DS was due. MIL (they are divorced) also came round as they were having some weird competition over their first grandchild. She again parked herself in sofa and played on her mobile phone for an hour, even after DH said that I could really do with having a nap (on the sofa). She even had the cheek to demand DH make her a coffee while he was in the middle of building a new wardrobe.
SIL making us buy an outfit for DS to match her wedding - none of us are in a single photo from the day (not even the group shot, never mind any family photos). DH was also the only family member on either side without a role in the wedding. Gave them a significant sum of money as a gift, no thank you card (MIL displayed hers prominently).
Offered to host (single) MIL for Christmas lunch as DHs siblings had said they wanted to do their owns Christmas’ that year. They all changed their minds the last minute and came to ours, demanding lunch at a certain time which mean I spent all of DDs first Christmas in the kitchen so that they could eat at a certain time, then it turned out they didn’t have to rush off so there was no need to have eaten so early.
Gosh that’s therapeutic, and I’m pleased to say I make DH stand up to his family a lot better now though he could still bloody well learn to cook.

When I was in year 6 at school I was chosen to be 'lead Angel' in the nativity play. We had white robes made from old sheets, but some bloody cow got her mum to stitch tinsel around the hem and neck of her robe and the teachers all said she had to be main Angel as her outfit stood out. Still livid after 40 years!

My husbands brother and his wife picked the same first dance song us we had, at their wedding 5 months after our wedding. It’s not a common song, it’s no2 song from 1982 that we both just loved. The worst part was my husband was best man, so I had to watch my new husband dance to our wedding song with another women. It was even sang by the same band as we had and watched by a lot of the same people. They also had the same photographer and videographer. I really wasn’t fussed about all that stuff but the song still makes me boiling mad 12 years later. I should add I didn’t watch the dance for more than 10seconds, I got up and went to the bar in the next room and ordered myself a double vodka. My poor hubby froze to the spot when it came on. He was so lovely about it. He said everything about our wedding was original and unique to us, theirs was just a copy cat wedding. But still, who does that????

This is outing but the main person is dead and not missed so here goes!

My sister had a baby just before her 18th birthday. I phoned round family members to give them the news. My grandma passed me on to my aunt (obviously already drunk at 6.30pm!). She then went on to say how sad it was and such a waste because my sister was far more intelligent than me and could have done so much. I was the one they all thought would get pregnant first because I would sleep with the first man who asked me!

It's family legend now!

DH- calling my niece ‘cunting Emilie”

His mother telling ds to “shut up, just shut up” when he was about 18mths old because what he was doing (playing) was making DH angry

Mil making fun of my mother in a really nasty way for being proud of niece.

Years ago, when DS was about 8 or 9, his friend was in the 'Badgers' section of the St. John Ambulance. DS thought this would be great and asked me if he could join. I asked the supervisor in charge, who said they had a massive waiting list, as it was really popular - but nevertheless she would add DS's name and keep me posted on his progression up the list. Periodically, I would enquire as to whether he was near the top of the list. Each time the supervisor told me she would be in touch the moment his name was at the top. The time never came. I don't know whether they lost his name or quite what happened. He's 29 now, so I guess the list must be reeeeeeaally long.
Anyway, fast forward 20 years or so and he's just qualified as a junior doctor - and I'm a really proud mum.
I sometimes see the supervisor around the town and I'm so tempted to approach her and say 'you can take DS's name of the list, he's a doctor now'
Just something that narks me every now and again!

The Scottish Play my son was the same, wheras I literally went skyward. Could not believe what I was seeing. Our sons have more kindness and empathy in their little fingers than that excuse of a man could ever dream of.
And I too have to turn him off if he inadvertently pops up on the tv, or I would put my foot through it. Yes, I'm still burning with rage...my mother is even worse!!

My ex-boyfriend for repeatedly misgendering and fat-shaming my cat.
Particularly baffling as she's a tortie therefore most likely to be female. He met her loads of times and would always say 'ah, here he is!', 'oh, he is friendly!', despite me saying 'she's a SHE!'. Last time he came round, he watched her run from the porch to the alley door and said 'ooh, he's got quite a chubby little waddle, hasn't he!'.
Annoyed me out of all proportion.

@ElizaPancakes Calm down. Endgame was released over THREE MONTHS ago. It's hardly a spoiler now!! If you haven't seen it in the three months it was available in the cinema, that's not @Blueoasis problem. I think it's a reasonable assumption to make that any Marvel fan would have seen it in three months, and it's not a shocking spoiler to talk about it three months later.

I was in an amateur play and usually the curtain call/bow is organised on the dress rehearsal. It was four rehearsals before the dress and my part ended at the interval (character was murdered) and the fucking director made me stay until the end of the rehearsal at 10:30pm to do my bow when I'd been up since 5am that day. I was fuming. For a fucking bow 😡

If he'd have tried that now I'd have walked out.

I was a temp secretary for an MD for about 5 months years ago. He asked me to organise the Xmas lunch by typing invites to all employees and leave them on his desk. I did this and he came into me and said that he didn't mean me to include myself as I was only a temp and he needed someone to answer the phone that day. I was so mortified. I was only about 22 at the time.

Whenever my DM visited she'd bring her dog, even though I had a cat (Jazz). Jazz would go out rain or shine because the dog frightened her. Then one evening the dog approached Jazz and she pounced (claws out) at her.
After that DM always called Jazz beasty. I've never said anything as DM wouldn't react well, and we'd possibly fall out, but I do think it was unfair bringing the dog and expecting the cat to leave the house.

A group of girls in a play we were all in ganged up on me and shamed me until I swapped my nice plastic flower that I had been given as a prop for one of the popular girl’s tattier one. This was about 35 years ago and I still remember how helpless I felt over it!

I'm still annoyed about my mum giving away some books of ours to my cousins who were visiting. She gave them the ones I hadn't read yet, it was about a puppy. I had been really looking forward to reading that particular one.

Raging. 40 years ago.

At school (20 years ago) aged 14 ish some boys were messing around before class. One was stamping on others feet and kicking. Not hard but hard enough. Teacher came, told them off and asked us what happened. Obviously spoke to the boys during the lesson. At the end of the lesson the teacher kept me back. To ask me to clarify what I saw because x boy who'd been kicking sore he hadn't and teacher really didn't think x boy would lie. So was I sure what I saw? Because lying about these things is very serious. I can't remember what I said. But remember definitely seeing what he did but also feeling like I couldn't stand up to the teacher so I must have got it wrong. Only looking back when I was a little older did I think it was badly dealt with. I know it's petty but it felt so unfair because I knew I was telling the truth!!!

My friend took my full on breakdown (ugly sobbing in public, very humiliating) over the fact my DP and I had a messy split during which he told my DD he didn't love us anymore, we were totally skint and I was worried I'd be evicted, and I really needed a fucking break as my life was falling apart as an in to talk about how great her life was, how she was going travelling for 6 weeks, how great her paycheck is and that she's getting both a mortgage and a car with her "lovely DP" soon. She didn't even acknowledge what I'd said, and then asked us if we'd join her for a week abroad! I told her I couldn't even afford milk at the moment and we didn't own passports and left to walk back home, never spoke to her again.

She still texts me as if we are still friends and nothing has happened. I ignore them.

Some of these aren't so much petty as being downright nasty!

@formerbabe your dh is a monster. Sorry

@BuildBuildings

I don't think I ever forgave Margaret Thatcher for taking away free school milk
I never forgave Watford Borough for deciding to continue the subsidy so I had to carry on drinking the disgusting stuff