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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sex or no sex

141 replies

WhateverName2 · 25/07/2019 19:26

Am i the only person in the world who is slowly dying in this fucking heat? We havent had sex in 9 - nine - days and have children free oppertunity today. But it is so hot!!! I know my dh is looking forward to kids free night- but it is so hot! I cant be bothered...

OP posts:
WhiteDust · 25/07/2019 20:37

GrinBoysey
I'm sure the OP will thank you later for that but of advice!

madcatladyforever · 25/07/2019 20:38

3 years no sex here Grin

WhiteDust · 25/07/2019 20:39

Not even if Colin Firth himself begged for it.
Oh I don't know! I'd probably force myself to make the effort!

AquaPris · 25/07/2019 20:41

I haven't had sexual in weeks. Is 9 days really considered a lot?!

Soubriquet · 25/07/2019 20:42

I had sex yesterday...only a quickie

My dh went,..ugh shouldn’t have done that. Too hot.

He doesn’t even want to cuddle today (unlike him) as it’s too hot

AquaPris · 25/07/2019 20:42

If he's hurt because you're too hot to want to have sex you have much bigger problems than 9 days

Ounce · 25/07/2019 20:42

if i say no, it will Change his mood

Jesus, another one?

Seriously OP. Tell him to go fuck himself.

Yearinyearout · 25/07/2019 20:43

Atrociouscircumstance the OP has not said he sulks when he doesn't get what he wants, she said he will be disappointed. How is that "urgh"?

PutyourtoponTrevor · 25/07/2019 20:43

You should never have sex just to stop someone going in a mood and he shouldn't be emotionally blackmailing you. He sounds like a twat and sex would be completely off the cards for a long while

Hattie78 · 25/07/2019 20:44

Twice already today with a fan on during and a shower after Wink

Angiemum24 · 25/07/2019 20:46

14 months here

Grumpos · 25/07/2019 20:47

I just asked DP if it’s too hot for sex, he immediately said no.
Then said he’s taking the question as an invitation for later Blush
I’m happy with that to be fair Grin I’ll have a freezing shower after

On the other note, I’d hate it if my partner got into a funk because I didn’t want to have sex, I’d understand if it’d been going on for a while because sex is more than sex, it’s intimacy and so withholding it probably does make the other person feel unwanted (without genuine reason and discussions being had) but less than a couple of weeks - that’s no time at all! Definitely not sexy to be guilt tripped into shagging someone

Ginger1982 · 25/07/2019 20:48

Just wank him off.

arethereanyleftatall · 25/07/2019 20:50

What on earth did you put a laughing face after your last comment op?
That is shocking op. If YOU do not want sex, you do not have sex. It's that simple. You don't do it because someone else will be in a mood if you don't. For fucks sake. There are so many women on mn, and presumably in real life, who think they're so inferior to men.

adayatthebeach · 25/07/2019 20:50

Thankful for central air conditioned homes!

theunrivalledjoysofparenting · 25/07/2019 20:57

Urgh. He sounds awful. You don’t have to have sex if you don’t want to. Your want not to trumps his want to have sex.

Nine days? That’s nothing. Tell him to have a wank if he’s that bothered ut he should not get all moody when you say no! That’s a huge turn-off and v unfair.

FieryBiscuits14 · 25/07/2019 20:59

Told my DP earlier I'd love to have sex with you but it's too fucking hot. He agreed. The end.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 25/07/2019 21:03

9 days is quite a while. We probably will. But you shouldn't; if you don't want to, and he shouldn't ask you too... honestly, who'd want to have sex with someone who wasn't feeling it?!

over50andfab · 25/07/2019 21:04

I’d like sex, heat or no heat, but no partner to have sex with and it’s been waaaaay too long 😟

However...I have a suggestion....sex with ice cube foreplay. Feels rather good having one being run down your spine and anywhere else that feels good 🙄😀. If you want to get messy, buy a 2 litre tub of ice cream and give that a go (not to be used in any orrifices you understand) 😬

Another suggestion - full on DTD can be tricky in the shower but perhaps start off there, get cool on the outside but hot on the inside, then move somewhere more comfortable

arethereanyleftatall · 25/07/2019 21:06

I don't know anybody in real life who has sex more than once a week. There's about 12 married women all in their forties who I would talk to about this stuff. We range from once a week to never for years.

ListenLinda · 25/07/2019 21:10

I did an hour ago. Definite quickie before I melted into a puddle Grin

floribunda18 · 25/07/2019 21:11

We are 43 and 48. Nine days is nothing, we are like a couple of pandas.

WhiteDust · 25/07/2019 21:12

if i say no, it will Change his mood

This could mean one of two things:

  1. He'll be disappointed as he's been looking forward to it and that's all.
  2. He'll be disappointed as he's been looking forward to it and he'll sulk because he's a dick.
thetimekeeper · 25/07/2019 21:15

I love him.

Who suggested otherwise?

Saying no to sex doesn't mean you don't love him.

NataliaOsipova · 25/07/2019 21:21

Not even if Colin Firth himself begged for it.

😂😂😂