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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming over a comment another made to me this morning.

35 replies

milkymill · 31/07/2007 14:44

Okay, i am slighlty hormonal at the moment but it cheesed me off. We were at a music and craft type group, and i put ds (11mths) on the floor whilst helping dd with some stapling. Ds started crying and some woman came over and picked him up. She then said "oh you want your mummy" to which i replied "I've just got 2 more staples to do". She then said "Why don't you take your child and i'll do that". You know when you think about it afterwards and wish you'd said something. I didn't ask her to pick up my child in the first place!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 31/07/2007 14:44

get over it.

Carmenere · 31/07/2007 14:46

Um yes, mountain and molehill milkymill

WideWebWitch · 31/07/2007 14:48

I'd have given her one of my 'drop dead' stares and hope she got the message. but I like to think I'd have then forgotten about it!

lljkk · 31/07/2007 14:48

Sounds like she could have said it much more tactfully, but not worth remembering much less getting upset about. Think of yourself as "above it".

OliveIsSoNotHereAndOnABreak · 31/07/2007 14:49

sounds like she was trying to help tbh

I have picked up a crying child before at a toddler group, only because I remember how hard it was trying to juggle dd1 and dd2 when they both were small

Original poster
milkymill · 31/07/2007 14:50

Yes i know, i suppose i'm more annoyed with myself for not saying anything. You ncan tell she's just one of these 'bossy' interfering types.

OP posts:
WanderingTrelawney · 31/07/2007 14:50

I think you'll either have to accept she was trying to help you but it came across badly, or just punch her in the face next time you're there.

Either way, you'll feel better.

Do hope this helps.

Original poster
milkymill · 31/07/2007 14:51

I have no problem with the picking up and helping. It was the demanding i drop what i'm doing the pi*sed me off.

OP posts:
OliveIsSoNotHereAndOnABreak · 31/07/2007 14:51

oh come on

you are making a huge deal of this

get a grip (in the nicest possible way)

expatinscotland · 31/07/2007 14:52

Next time, if she annoys you, just nick her coffee mug.

HuwEdwards · 31/07/2007 14:53

agree with Olive - she didn't demand, she rather helpfully suggested.

TootyFrooty · 31/07/2007 14:54

you were in the middle of stapling something, not a middle east peace conference

OliveIsSoNotHereAndOnABreak · 31/07/2007 14:56

I remember when dd1 was nearly 2, dd2 a newborn

dd2 was feeding, dd1 playing up just because

woman came and distracted dd1 and I could have kissed her

maybe the woman thought you needed a hand, and wasn't "just one of these 'bossy' interfering types"

Saturn74 · 31/07/2007 14:56

next time, staple craft item to nose of annoying woman

Original poster
milkymill · 31/07/2007 14:56

Olive, i know im the grand scheme of things it's really not important. I am simply venting my bottled frustrations , isn't that what this board is partly about?

OP posts:
PrettyCandles · 31/07/2007 14:57

Not being able to hear the tone of voice or see the body language, it's difficult to believe that she meant anything other than friendly I've-been-there-too help.

Original poster
milkymill · 31/07/2007 14:59

Believe me, any offer of help is always gratefully received, but it isn't as though i wasn't aware he was sat right behind me crying loudly! If she didn't want to hold a crying baby she shouldn't have picked him up.

OP posts:
HonoriaGlossop · 31/07/2007 14:59

actually you're not unreasonable to be fuming. You are fuming because you didn't speak out and you're annoyed with yourself because this woman made you feel that she was in charge of you.

OK it's not the most important issue but I understand.

Use it to remind yourself that it's ok to say something and speak out! I used to come out of the baker's fuming when I'd bought ds a biscuit, as the ladies would always hold it out of his reach while saying to him as if he was an idiot "SAY THANK YOU" and it would SO annoy me because they assumed he wouldn't say thank you, whereas he would if only they shut up for a sec!

The time I DIDN'T come out fuming was when I grabbed the bag and said "It's ok thanks, I'll do the manners lessons for him".

Always speak out, just let it trip off your tongue, it soon becomes a habit

MrsSnoek · 31/07/2007 15:00

relax milkymill,
imo she was just trying to help u!

chill chill chill

Original poster
milkymill · 31/07/2007 15:01

Huw, there was nothing 'rather helpful' about her tone. Anyone would have thought i'd bundled ds into her arms myself.

OP posts:
HuwEdwards · 31/07/2007 15:02

Blimey HG, hope yours and my paths never cross - you sound so aggressive!

ChasingSquirrels · 31/07/2007 15:03

11mo - crying - some people don't like to see infants crying when their mum's are doing completely unimportant things.

Original poster
milkymill · 31/07/2007 15:03

Thanks Honoria, you have hit the nail on the head.

OP posts:
HonoriaGlossop · 31/07/2007 15:04

Moi? Aggressive? Plainly you have never shopped in my local baker's. They would try anyone's patience......old bags.

I'm the soul of patience usually.

HonoriaGlossop · 31/07/2007 15:05

and if that seems aggressive to you, Huw, you are bloomin lucky. Where do you live? Toytown?

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