AIBU to say that big is NOT beautiful!

[SummerSummerSummer]

So, I'm not expecting the MN community to take this statement well (or who knows), but I have come to the conclusion that the whole 'Big is Beautiful' stuff is complete nonsense! Big (I'm talking overweight here) is unhealthy, unattractive, and normal healthy weight is what we should all aim for.

Pre-DC, ten years ago, I was of normal weight, attractive and full of energy. I would cycle to work (in London), go running, rollerblading and do yoga classes. Whatever clothes I wanted to wear, I did with no problems. Everything looked great.

Children happened and the sleep deprivation, lack of me-time and the general exhaustion made me seek comfort in food and I gained a lot of weight. I would eat chocolate secretly behind my family's back to reward myself for something or to celebrate a moment or whatever reason really.

A few days ago I saw pictures taken of me on a family holiday and I can't fake it anymore. I look awful! My belly looks like I'm 6 months pregnant, my thighs are full of cellulite and my bum is enormous (however fashionable it might be at the moment). And I don't look good either. I hate getting into a swimming costume for everyone to see me, I cannot find any nice clothes to fit me and I'm so unfit!

It's easier to tell yourself in the winter that you're not really that big when you can wrap yourself in big jumpers, coats and scarves. You can do your hair and make up and kind of look ok. But in this heat there's no hiding from it, and no amount of make up or time spent on hair can fake you a healthy looking figure. And I hate the way I have to pull my t-shirts down over my belly instead of tucking them in like it's fashionable at the moment! And any leggings, tights or bottoms with elasticated waist always roll under my belly rather than stay up where they're supposed to be! Let alone the fact that this is now my preferred wardrobe due to jeans and smarter trousers feeling really uncomfortable! And tops! Spagetti top is a no, sleeveless top is a no, t-shirt is a maybe if it's the loose kind because of big wobbly arms!

So the reasons I'm saying big is not beautiful are:

1. Being overweight is unhealthy and puts you in risk of all kinds of illnesses (such as diabetes which I worry about)
2. You are constantly fixated on food and treats. What you are going to eat next, when can you eat it, how can you hide it from everyone else etc..

3.Nothing fits you nicely. You can not participate in the fashion scene.

1. You get out of breath so easily. Even going upstairs becomes a nuisance let alone having a game of football or tag with your children!
2. Telling lies to yourself is not healthy for you mentally. Healthy body, healthy mind.
3. Not wanting to appear in photographs. Editing yourself out of family photos which is super sad.

Now we’ve completely descended into the depths of stupidity. I don’t know why I’m surprised really.

Now we’ve completely descended into the depths of stupidity. I don’t know why I’m surprised really.

You’ve posted more on this topic than anyone else though so it’s on you I’m afraid

Is it, dear?

Is it, dear?

I’m very much afraid to say so but unfortunately, yes, I believe you are largely responsible for a civil and interesting conversation, descending into a bun fight. Which is ironic as buns are part of the problem being discussed.

Given that the “civil and interesting discussion” became a name calling bunfight several pages before my first post, I think you’ll find you’re mistaken.

I think you’ll find you’re mistaken

If you don’t mind, and with all due deference, you are quite wrong.

Shortstuff99 fat people dont want or need your sympathy. We need you to stay in your lane and treat us with the same respect you would everyone else.

I’ve shown no lack of respect. I’m perfectly entitled to comment on a social and health issue that affects the society I live in, and besides which this is a conversational thread on the topic. Are you saying only fat people should be able to comment on fat issues? This is grossly prejudiced.

Shortstuff99 yes I am. Because I highly doubt you police thin people the same way. Just admit you dont like fat people and move along.

Shortstuff99 furthermore the thread originally was about asking if its ok not to find fat people beautiful. But it quickly descends into armchair doctors making assumptions on complete strangers health which again, they would not for a thin person.

But if you eat fewer calories than your BMR consistently over the week and maintain that you’ll lose weight

That is really dangerous 'advice' to be dishing out. You should never eat fewer calories than your BMR.

Indeed twisted That is more of a risk to your internal organs than carrying an extra stone or two I bet.

@Butters83 I understood the thread was originally about the Big is Beautiful movement enabling people to delude themselves and ignore their health.

yes I am. Because I highly doubt you police thin people the same way. Just admit you dont like fat people and move along.

So only heroin users can discuss the public health menace that is heroin addiction? And others can’t recognise it as such?

Am I policing the fat? What a bizarre comment.

The women in the Boots ad arent even obese. I am now overweight only and would love to look that good.

@Northernsoulgirl45 If you think your organs will thank you for carrying a couple of stones of extra weight (presumably as fat) for years more than they would for cutting a couple of hundred of calories out a day for a fixed period to remove that damaging fat you are deluded

Just sounds like the OP is trying to justify the shame and disgust she feels with herself by applying it to everyone she thinks looks the same as her.
Be ashamed with yourself if you find it motivating and helpful OP but don't try and slop that poison around onto everyone else as well.

But it was just said that fatness and heroin is nothing alike, so why are you using it as an comparison example now?

And yeah, I would listen to people who have taken heroin over someone who hasnt when its a discussion around their wellbeing.

OP doesn't sound ashamed to me. She sounds like someone who has taken responsibility for her health. How is that slopping poison around?

Actually I have lost 2 1/2 stone this year with two stone to go. I eat healthily and exercise regularly but refuse to starve myself. I want to build muscle, not burn up muscle.

zonkin because health and beauty are too completely different things?

@Butters83 I've been overweight, obese, healthy weight at varying times over my life. You're being rather presumptive about the posters here.

zonkin you are actually more likely to survive a serious illness when you are carrying extra weight. Its called the obesity paradox. Your body has fat reserves that keep you going longer than a thin person.

you are actually more likely to survive a serious illness when you are carrying extra weight

Like diabetes,heart disease or anything requiring abdominal surgery?

Do not believe this dangerous garbage.

zonkin if there are any former fat people on here who are now slim I would hazard a guess they like to hate on other fat bodies because they have brought into the thin currency. They hate the fact that fat people are out here being happy, successful, wearing what they want. It takes away the currency they feel they earned by going on a long diet that they will have to work at for the rest of their lives. Because to be thin is a bounty you are promised that opens doors to untold happiness - and it all becomes invalid when a fat person is happy and beautiful and confident.