AIBU to say that big is NOT beautiful!

[SummerSummerSummer]

So, I'm not expecting the MN community to take this statement well (or who knows), but I have come to the conclusion that the whole 'Big is Beautiful' stuff is complete nonsense! Big (I'm talking overweight here) is unhealthy, unattractive, and normal healthy weight is what we should all aim for.

Pre-DC, ten years ago, I was of normal weight, attractive and full of energy. I would cycle to work (in London), go running, rollerblading and do yoga classes. Whatever clothes I wanted to wear, I did with no problems. Everything looked great.

Children happened and the sleep deprivation, lack of me-time and the general exhaustion made me seek comfort in food and I gained a lot of weight. I would eat chocolate secretly behind my family's back to reward myself for something or to celebrate a moment or whatever reason really.

A few days ago I saw pictures taken of me on a family holiday and I can't fake it anymore. I look awful! My belly looks like I'm 6 months pregnant, my thighs are full of cellulite and my bum is enormous (however fashionable it might be at the moment). And I don't look good either. I hate getting into a swimming costume for everyone to see me, I cannot find any nice clothes to fit me and I'm so unfit!

It's easier to tell yourself in the winter that you're not really that big when you can wrap yourself in big jumpers, coats and scarves. You can do your hair and make up and kind of look ok. But in this heat there's no hiding from it, and no amount of make up or time spent on hair can fake you a healthy looking figure. And I hate the way I have to pull my t-shirts down over my belly instead of tucking them in like it's fashionable at the moment! And any leggings, tights or bottoms with elasticated waist always roll under my belly rather than stay up where they're supposed to be! Let alone the fact that this is now my preferred wardrobe due to jeans and smarter trousers feeling really uncomfortable! And tops! Spagetti top is a no, sleeveless top is a no, t-shirt is a maybe if it's the loose kind because of big wobbly arms!

So the reasons I'm saying big is not beautiful are:

1. Being overweight is unhealthy and puts you in risk of all kinds of illnesses (such as diabetes which I worry about)
2. You are constantly fixated on food and treats. What you are going to eat next, when can you eat it, how can you hide it from everyone else etc..

3.Nothing fits you nicely. You can not participate in the fashion scene.

1. You get out of breath so easily. Even going upstairs becomes a nuisance let alone having a game of football or tag with your children!
2. Telling lies to yourself is not healthy for you mentally. Healthy body, healthy mind.
3. Not wanting to appear in photographs. Editing yourself out of family photos which is super sad.

The long term implications from a life time of obesity are clear. Who will pick up the bill for you in 20 or 30 years time? Probably will have to be you.

If half the population is obese by 2030, then yes, the non-obese half will rightly want to break off into a separate group of the NHS. Which would mean tranches of risk and corresponding payments/penalties.

Not everyone feels/obsesses over their body and when/what they eat like you do, I will admit I was a nice size 10 a few years ago and I’m currently a size 14 I haven’t had children so can’t use that excuse.
I do have days where I feel like shit,but doesn’t everybody?, most days I feel good.
I do believe big isn’t beautiful on everyone some people do genuinely look better with less weight on them and vice Versa. The thing is with the body positive movement and all that stuff is that it’s trying to teach women that you don’t have to lol a certain way to be beautiful.

@AsTheWorldTurns there won't be a separate group of the NHS. There simply won't be an NHS as it exists today. Nothing to do with people wanting to break off into groups or whatever as they don't want to fund the more unfortunate ill people. It's a political thing, and for sure, being overweight will be penalised in terms of fees, insurance premiums or whatever funding structure is in place at that time.

It will work in the same way as life insurance does at the moment. You are penalised in premiums by lifestyle choices - smoking, alcohol, job, weight, medical record.

BoJo et al won't worry - it's not like they're dependent on public services.

@stapleyourtongue It might be possible for a very tall woman - I certainly don't think an 18 would be implausible.

The drivers for tall women having bigger sizes are broad shoulders and broad hips - not how fat or firm you are. When I was younger and slimmer (but not an athlete!) I was a size 16, and found the only jeans that fitted my hips could generally fit two of me round my waist. I still tend to have that problem even now I have more flab - I'm a size 20, overweight, and I still live in leggings because the elasticated waist stops them falling down all the bloody time. I dream of having enough money to get my clothes custom made.

I went up three dress sizes and multiple stones (tried not to weigh myself immediately post birth ) after having a baby and the impact of my self confidence has been incredible.

I can't wear dresses with bare legs as my thighs chafe and hurt.

I'm more sweaty and get tired more easily

Very self conscious during sex whereas before I felt a million dollars. Now there are lots of positions I just don't want to do. I feel very fat compared to my athletic, 6 pac'd partner.

No clothes look as good... Have to be much more conscious of the fit of clothes whereas I used to just throw things on and they looked fine.

I'm losing weight at a steady level, 10lbs this month but it's been a very hard slog and lots more to go.

So for me, I haven't found big is beautiful no.

I wish everyone would just leave NHS out of this. Everyone deserves healthcare:big, small, skinny, anorexic, obese, smoker, drug addict, extreme sportsman, drunk driver, murderer etc.. The thread is turning very nasty which is a shame. There have been some very reasonable and heartfelt posts here. Let's just leave it at that shall we? No point tearing each other down.

Amen.

"Fat people jumping around in swimwear on tv"

Where? When? And so fucking what? Is anyone going to see this and start over eating to look the same?

The thread is turning very nasty which is a shame

Well, @SummerSummerSummer - you started it!!

Where? When? And so fucking what? Is anyone going to see this and start over eating to look the same?

No but fat people may think that it’s not worth trying to lose weight as there is a movement that is now telling them it’s ok to be obese. Actually it’s just cynical marketing as usual to get an identified target demographic to spend more money

I wish everyone would just leave NHS out of this. Everyone deserves healthcare

That's only your opinion though. It’s quite annoying that money is being spent on people who have entirely avoidable self-inflicted issues. I would rather spend money on prevention than cure, or genuinely ill people, not those who are too lazy or greedy to manage their weight effectively.

"No but fat people may think that it’s not worth trying to lose weight as there is a movement that is now telling them it’s ok to be obese"

You're thinking too deeply about an advert for clothes. Fat people need to wear clothes. They might also go to the beach occasionally and need something to wear... a swimming costume, for example. The only thing this advert communicates to me is that Sainsbury's sell clothes.

"That's only your opinion though. It’s quite annoying that money is being spent on people who have entirely avoidable self-inflicted issues."

And does this extend to smokers, drinkers, drug addicts, those with mental health problems that might make them self harm, anorexics, sports injuries, etc...?

James Cordon any day..all day

Peter Kay - not even with yours

Tom hardy - meh

I do wish that some of you smug fuckers could walk a mile in my shoes before being such smug patronising twats.

It’s no fun being fat. It was much nicer being slim unfortunately I got sick, 30 years ago they understood even less about how a virus could destroy some functions in your body completely and WTF to do about it If they’d known then what they know now, they might have been able to help me instead of compounding my problem, but they didn’t and I now have a body that holds onto everything and malfunctions

I don’t ‘shove 3000 calories into my mouth’ (note the language used - slim people eat, but fat people stuff or shove or some other equally nasty phrase), I don’t eat mcDonalds, but if I did it wouldn’t be the size of order stated earlier.

In addition to my other health issues arising from that illness I now also have HIGH oestrogen, making weight loss even more difficult (my GP admits I have a far better diet/lifestyle than she does & that I don’t ‘deserve’ to be the weight I am.

Yes, you might see me in Greg’s buying sandwiches/pasties/cakes and you might be one of the other people in there giving me filthy looks- but what you don’t see is me delivering ‘the lunch run’ to others and me eating my lunch brought from home.

My supermarket trolley & fridge look like they belong to a rabbit rescue society, not ‘the fat bird’ ...but you judge away & continue to feel so fucking smug ...but remember I was 71/2 stone wet before I got sick too - so this could be you too one day and yes, I DO wish it on you, because then at least you’ll STFU with the highly ridiculous & offensive comments

It’s quite annoying that money is being spent on people who have entirely avoidable self-inflicted issues. I would rather spend money on prevention than cure, or genuinely ill people, not those who are too lazy or greedy to manage their weight effectively

And I wish it on you twice as painfully & fast!!

Today I've eaten one peanut butter sandwich and a serving of gyoza. I'm fascinated to find out that that equals 3000 calories. So that's where I've been going wrong.

No, it won't win any health awards, but I'm trying to use up stuff that's been sitting around in the freezer for ages.

@Shortstuff99, those people pay tax too. Or do you think that the thinner you are, the less tax you pay? Fat people are “genuinely ill” too.

If you would rather money be spent on prevention than perhaps there should be more support for obese patients seeking help. I asked for help and was basically told I didn’t qualify. My BMI was was high thirties but because I paid for prescriptions the help wasn’t available to me.
I promptly lost enough weight Cambridge diet style but 6 months later weighed more than I did at the start.
I have only really got myself out of obese levels bu feeling good about myself and having a sustainable plan.
Perpetuating the myth that obese people are lazy and greedy does not help an obese persons self esteem and it counter productive and plain nasty.

OP's thread: big is NOT beautiful

OP page 27: No point tearing each other down

uh, you started it dear.

Perpetuating the myth that obese people are lazy and greedy does not help an obese persons self esteem and it counter productive and plain nasty

Agreed, but with an edit. I was obese because I ate too much (greed) and didn't exercise (lazy) so technically the myth gas truth.

BUT why was I greedy and lazy? It was self destructive behaviour due to unresolved sexual abuse trauma.

Yes, everyone has to take responsibility for their health but it would be GREAT if we list the judgement and assumptions and actually had some compassion.

I'm healthy now, size 12, thanks to mental health support and making huge lifestyle changes.

If you must judge, then instead of thinking 'what must they be eating' next time you notice an obese person, try thinking 'I wonder what trauma that person has been or is going though'.

Has not gas 😂

Chouetted god I love peanut butter sandwiches 🤤 a true classic!

Not sure what your point is though, anyone can have an off day where they eat much more or much less than their basal metabolic rate indicates for maintenance. But if you eat fewer calories than your BMR consistently over the week and maintain that you’ll lose weight. Overeat consistently and you’ll gain. If you’re overweight you’ve overeaten consistently for a period of time and one day of eating less isn’t gonna do much!

all this thread has revealed to is how much of MN is nasty and narrow minded. as a PP said fat people need clothes, its the same lack of logic that lead ppl to be upset about fat sports wear.

@JemimaPuddlePeacock Well someone characterised overweight/obese people as "shoving 3000 calories" daily, so I was just pointing out the fact that actually quite a lot of us eat normal diets.

Although I have discovered that if you're very short and inactive, and naturally eat very little, a "normal diet" can look like pigging out. Maybe that's part of the issue - we judge other people's diets in comparison to our own, not what's actually recommended.

Peanut butter sandwiches are amazing.

urgth why is this thread still going.

Beauty is subjective.

Health is a completely separate conversation. And also none of your business.

And does this extend to smokers, drinkers, drug addicts, those with mental health problems that might make them self harm, anorexics, sports injuries, etc

And in the same vain should your sympathy and support extend to shopaholics and shoe collectors. Maybe the government should asses them and give them money towards shoes and other shit as they are trapped in a brutal cycle of compulsive behaviour.

Back in the real world, Everything has a root cause and I have sympathy with obese people but they are more empowered to change their life than someone addicted to heroin and the comparison is really ludicrous to be honest.