AIBU to say that big is NOT beautiful!

[SummerSummerSummer]

So, I'm not expecting the MN community to take this statement well (or who knows), but I have come to the conclusion that the whole 'Big is Beautiful' stuff is complete nonsense! Big (I'm talking overweight here) is unhealthy, unattractive, and normal healthy weight is what we should all aim for.

Pre-DC, ten years ago, I was of normal weight, attractive and full of energy. I would cycle to work (in London), go running, rollerblading and do yoga classes. Whatever clothes I wanted to wear, I did with no problems. Everything looked great.

Children happened and the sleep deprivation, lack of me-time and the general exhaustion made me seek comfort in food and I gained a lot of weight. I would eat chocolate secretly behind my family's back to reward myself for something or to celebrate a moment or whatever reason really.

A few days ago I saw pictures taken of me on a family holiday and I can't fake it anymore. I look awful! My belly looks like I'm 6 months pregnant, my thighs are full of cellulite and my bum is enormous (however fashionable it might be at the moment). And I don't look good either. I hate getting into a swimming costume for everyone to see me, I cannot find any nice clothes to fit me and I'm so unfit!

It's easier to tell yourself in the winter that you're not really that big when you can wrap yourself in big jumpers, coats and scarves. You can do your hair and make up and kind of look ok. But in this heat there's no hiding from it, and no amount of make up or time spent on hair can fake you a healthy looking figure. And I hate the way I have to pull my t-shirts down over my belly instead of tucking them in like it's fashionable at the moment! And any leggings, tights or bottoms with elasticated waist always roll under my belly rather than stay up where they're supposed to be! Let alone the fact that this is now my preferred wardrobe due to jeans and smarter trousers feeling really uncomfortable! And tops! Spagetti top is a no, sleeveless top is a no, t-shirt is a maybe if it's the loose kind because of big wobbly arms!

So the reasons I'm saying big is not beautiful are:

1. Being overweight is unhealthy and puts you in risk of all kinds of illnesses (such as diabetes which I worry about)
2. You are constantly fixated on food and treats. What you are going to eat next, when can you eat it, how can you hide it from everyone else etc..

3.Nothing fits you nicely. You can not participate in the fashion scene.

1. You get out of breath so easily. Even going upstairs becomes a nuisance let alone having a game of football or tag with your children!
2. Telling lies to yourself is not healthy for you mentally. Healthy body, healthy mind.
3. Not wanting to appear in photographs. Editing yourself out of family photos which is super sad.

That's the thing though - 99% do nothing. 1% do actually try to do something. And it's an uphill struggle. Without more support nothing changes. And people are so bloody apathetic. And then whoops, it's too late.

Are you just rolling over and accepting it? I hope not. If so, that makes you condescending and no better than the robots. Except you judge from the sidelines in an "all knowing way".

And we wonder how we got to the current political situation.....

@Vulpine, it was tongue in cheek.

@Vulpine it does sound like that - question is, do we think that there is some truth in that?

Examples?

Fat people jumping around in swimwear on tv

Mobility scooters aren’t provided by the NHS

They are publicly funded I don’t think it’s that much of an intellectual leap to see my point. So you know 4 people with them and they’re all deserved. Do you think that’s a credible amount of data to make a judgement on?

@mindproject I'm more than aware that the tories don't want an NHS

Bizarre and idiotic garbage. They have done more for the nhs than anyone else as it’s their stewardship of the economy that has enabled it to get as far as it has.

YANBU.

@Shortstuff99 - regarding the NHS and the tories you are deluded. Let's chat again in 10/20 years and see where we all are with the NHS. Richard Branson doing quite nicely from the stealth privatisation. Which was in fact started by Tony Blair and his PFI agreeements. Haven't seen any scaling back of those projects - rather an expansion.

As for stewardship of the economy - what can I say...

Fat people jumping around in swimwear on tv - the bastards! How dare fat people be on telly, in swimwear AND jumping - is this what we pay our licence fee for?!

@Shortstuff99, mobility scooters have to be bought by their users. I don’t know anyone who’s got one. I know four thin people who have had hip/knee replacements as you’d know if you’d bothered to read my post.

The Tories are systematically destroying the NHS, you must live in a parallel universe.

I’m aware someone will be along soon to claim that nobody can lose weight and it’s all factors outside of your control that cause you to gain weight -order that second takeaway this week- but it’s just infantilising bullshit to suggest people have no control over their own food intake and weight. Yes, there are influencing factors outside us. Food deserts, for example. But the buck stops ultimately with the person choosing to shove 3000 calories per day into their mouths rather than 1500.

Snide and bitchy comments like that and people wonder why people don't want to 'discuss' the obesity crisis and get defensive?

I know women and girls who are a size 20 and have lovely firm bodies.

... I really do not believe for a second you can be a size 20 yet have a firm body.

Perfectly possible if you were a 6ft athlete.

Well that poster must know a lot of 6ft athletes then

You can't be morbidly obese and fit.
I see overweight women at the gym regularly- they struggle.
Joints are not able to support their weight- they struggle with plank, press up. even squats. Wrists, knees etc simply can't take the weight to allow the body work.
Who wants to carry all that crap around ?
You can't be a size 20 and fit.

I think beauty is all about your state of mind and confidence, if you feel good you look good.

I was once 20 stone and a beast honestly l had a tire of fat around my neck, l lost four stone still didn’t feel amazing put 2 back on and now l have just lost one. So l am 17 stone 3lbs l am no way beautiful but my god l feel amazing having lost some weight and my skin is so much better much clearer.

It is horrid having limited choice in clothes, roll on next some when l will be healthier and be able to run 10k.

I’m calling bullshit on the athlete being a size 20.

I just looked a athletes over 6ft (Amy Acuff etc) and no way is she anywhere near a 20.

But at least by hoinh to the gym they are making positive steps towards improving.

I think beauty is all about your state of mind and confidence, if you feel good you look good.

No. If this was the case then women would fancy Peter Kay like they do Tom Hardy.

Plenty of women fancied James Cordon.

I think the majority of them would stop fancying him if he was poor.

Hmmm, James Corden, Peter Kay, Tom Hardy. As mindproject says, take away the money and who would rather shag?

It isn’t a whole other discussion if you’re going to blame fat people for being a drain on the NHS, because they’re a fraction of the drain of the over 65s, irrespective of social care costs.

Are you comparing a demographic reality with obesity?

Well let's all carry on as we are. Don't take responsibility at all for your health. Let's see how the NHS fares under the "careful stewardship of the economy" that the tories have in place.

How long will it be before the non emergency hip and knee replacements are rationed out to the "well deserving". Look at long it takes to get a cataract operation these days. That's people's vision and a simple operation. Non urgent.

The long term implications from a life time of obesity are clear. Who will pick up the bill for you in 20 or 30 years time? Probably will have to be you.

I think the majority of them would stop fancying him if he was poor.

So people lust after Tom Hardy for his money? Not sure I believe that as all celebrities are generally pretty well off.

The diet coke man wasn't considered a hunk for his high flying job cleaning windows.