To think that Ward I’m on should just abandon pretence they have visiting hours?

[MarieVanGoethem]

I’ve been in hospital since the 3rd of July. On current Ward since the 9th. I fully support a bit of flexibility with visitors where possible & needful, don’t get me wrong.

Thankfully I’ve not had a repeat of my time on the acute ward when I had a night with the [volatile & abusive] woman opposite me’s son sitting in the chair by her bed, where he was not meant to be, which was opposite my bed. (To be clear, he v definitely wasn’t allowed to be there & Official Questions Are Being Asked about why he wasn’t removed.)

However, when visiting hours are 2pm to 8pm, people rolling up before half nine is... & yes, that means visitors as well as patients are overhearing Ward Rounds. And people stay well beyond 8pm as well, about 10-10:30pm being the standard. So I’ve had several days where the bay has been full of the noise & bustle of extra people (I’ve only been allowed up unaccompanied since late Sunday afternoon; & my ability to walk as far as the day room with one of my visitors [which of course is ALSO busy anyway] was only reached a few days before & tbh couldn’t really be relied on) 12[+] hours.

I’m now at the point where I’m “just” waiting for a care package to be arranged. But “medically fit for discharge” =/= “boundingly good health”. Woman in bed opposite currently has about half a dozen visitors (who traipsed in last night at almost quarter to eleven to take some more pictures of the view to go with the ones they’d taken a few hours earlier - to be fair they’d spent a few of hours in the day room after a few in the Bay); woman beside me has 2.

Am willing to accept I may be being grumpy-frustrated because I’ve been v ill & it’ll be far too long for my liking before I’m better (well, for a given value of better, don’t think the complex health needs are going anywhere ); my NJ tube is irksome; I have a sore throat & earache; & although I am now allowed up alone I’m still walking like I’m doing some kind of interpretive dance & until yesterday my feed was running for 20 hours so was having to trundle an IV pole (a sticky-wheeled one, naturally) about most of the time (will get 6 hours off today though: upped the feed rate: woo!); etc etc Reasons, blah... but it does all just seem a bit pointless having the rules really; & I’ve people who could visit me if they trotted up outside hours, but it just feels Wrong. I’ve literally NEVER been on a Ward that ignores Visiting like this. Closest I’ve come is the time my friend was allowed to stay an extra 30 minutes (we didn’t notice time, they didn’t announce end visiting & nobody else was visiting our Bay at that point) because my nurse thought it was really good for me & we weren’t disturbing anyone.

So essentially, AIBU unreasonable to think this Ward needs to either stop pretending they have visiting hours; or actual enforce the 2pm-8pm rules [other than in specific/exceptional circumstances]?

YNBU. When I have spent periods in hospital I have found sharing my personal space when going through a bad time very difficult.

YANBU speaking as a nurse, visiting times not being adhered to can make caring for patients so much harder.
It's important to have times of the day that we know will be visitor free so we can arrange to give certain sensitive but necessary interventions during these quiet times.
For example I wouldn't be happy to give a patient an enema and consequently expect them to use a commode in a bay full of visitors, separated by a flimsy curtain.
Obviously exceptions to visiting hours can be made for end of life patients, and can be valuable when caring for confused patients. However for case load management I'll always plan to do dressing changes, catheter care etc outside of visiting hours.
When visiting hours are not enforced, I personally think this is at the expense of patient dignity.

There also used to be restrictions on the number of visitors per patient (two per bed, iirc?) at any one time, and children were not permitted to rampage round the ward. When did it become a free for all circus?
Entire families sitting round blaring iPads and eating takeaways is ridiculous.

‘Other people's visitors are one of the worst parts of being in hospital I find. Personally I think visitors should either be carers for the patient or people who are usually cared for by the patient (e.g. their children). ’

This seems reasonable & fair.

My husband and I have never been apart and he was in hospital recently due to a back injury. I'm very very glad the visiting hours weren't enforced.
They let me stay with him till around midnight and I came back next morning about 9. We had curtains around us and were quiet so not invading others privacy etc.
But I would have found it difficult leaving him in hospital alone and in pain for that length of time. Sticking to 2 till 8.

‘Visitors do come ‘out of hours’ for lots of reasons. Terminally ill patients, long distance travel, work commitments. Most do phone ahead and make special arrangements with the sister/charge nurse, ime.’

Reasonable...

I can see both sides tbh, lots of loud strangers around sounds like hell to me if I was a patient.

But, as carer for a parent who has Alzheimers I was at their bedside for at least 16 hours a day last time they were in hospital. Despite completing "This is Me" document, giving copies of my Power of Attorney, listing all allergies and establishing total lack of capacity...in the few hours I was away they served a meal full of allergens, changed medication and asked vital questions of someone who had no clue of the accurate answers. If I wasnt there things went wrong, to the extent that our GP has agreed a hospital avoidance plan for the future. So yeah, I'm gonna be the annoying relative glued to the bedside and checking things are done right (tho to be fair, I was also the one refilling other patients water jugs, calling for help when they fell and generally providing low level care to the rest of the bay so you may have welcomed my presence!!!)

It is reasonable if a visitor can't make normal opening hours and makes alternative arrangements. It's not reasonable if opening hours last all day - it's a hospital and people need privacy and peace and quiet.

But to the ones saying they’re quiet and respectful to other patients; surely you understand you’re not the ones anyone objects to?
If everyone behaved so well there’d be no issue? What’s the point in announcing that you’re not the problem when other people clearly are?!

And even if people are quiet and respectful, they are still there, crowding the room and not allowing the patient peace, quiet and privacy.

Well, yes. Agreed.

PPs comments about being with patients to support them when they are vulnerable or need greater personal care - all this is reasonable.

@Corndollie point about scheduling treatments/interventions which may be sensitive & require greater privacy is helpful.

Infection control on wards is a joke.
They are revolting.

I wondered about infection Sooty at one stage there were 14 people on a four bed ward who needn't be. No wonder mrsa has a form grip.

if my adult child was in hospital, one of us would have to be with her 24/7 due to her disability. a busy nurse who has never met her would not be able to care for her without our help.
sometimes its just the way it has to be.
but loud visitors, or large groups should be told to leave.

I would hate to see a ban on children visiting, I was not able to visit my DM when I was a child and think that was wrong. but they should be supervised and only allowed in for a short time.

Ds will need 2:1 support when awake hospital ( non verbal, learning difficulties and challenging behaviour)and will need at least one person who knows him well, with him 24/7. If he didn't have this he wouldn't be able to be in hospital.
People should though behave considerately towards patients and staff and those who are visitors as apposed to carers, should stick to visiting hours.

Kids are noisy and full of germs, they really don't belong in an hospital - as visitors obviously.

If you need to give them a tablet and let them make noise, have pity on the other patients! Loud people in general are a nuisance.

I would vote for anyone who comes up with a plan to get rid of the communal wards once and for all - even if it cannot be achieved in a day. If we refused the idea, things would start to progress.

But the communal wards would have been more bearable before they started letting every random and his dog have the run of the place?

Communal wards by definition never gave you privacy or quiet - I don't care if people are patients or visitors, I still don't want to be surrounded by either when I am in hospital. It's a disgrace.

I would hate to see a ban on children visiting, I was not able to visit my DM when I was a child and think that was wrong. but they should be supervised and only allowed in for a short time.

I wasn't allowed to see my Grandfather either and when my dad was dying, he brought that up saying how much it had upset my Grandfather (his dad). My dad found a lot of comfort from being able to see ds and to say goodbye to him. He saw him the day before he died. Although he did have a private room and we kept the visits limited/ds under control.

Children used to be allowed in for a brief chat, iirc. They certainly weren’t allowed to stay for the entire visiting time (even when it was limited to two hours), and allowing them to make noise, run about or otherwise disturb the ward wouldn’t have been tolerated.
Things have changed, both in terms of how people are prepared to behave in public but also in how much is actually accepted from them. They’re no longer called on poor behaviour unless it’s extreme.

I was on the ward five days. All four kids were present for every single day. I can't say the kids were badly behaved, in fact considering the restrictions they coped really well alternating between the t.v. and playing a game on the windowsill.
It was the absolute disruption they all caused.
Also the Husband liked to stroll to the corridor every five minutes either making a loud phone call or stuffing his hands down his pants.
I'd had an arse operation so just wasn't in the mood.

And even if people are quiet and respectful, they are still there, crowding the room and not allowing the patient peace, quiet and privacy.

Lol - do you have no experience of challenging behaviour? We would be the ones keeping DD as calm, quiet and well behaved as possible!

You’d have a reason for being there, Mont, the vast majority of people hanging around as if it was the village hall have none at all.