To think that Ward I’m on should just abandon pretence they have visiting hours?

[MarieVanGoethem]

I’ve been in hospital since the 3rd of July. On current Ward since the 9th. I fully support a bit of flexibility with visitors where possible & needful, don’t get me wrong.

Thankfully I’ve not had a repeat of my time on the acute ward when I had a night with the [volatile & abusive] woman opposite me’s son sitting in the chair by her bed, where he was not meant to be, which was opposite my bed. (To be clear, he v definitely wasn’t allowed to be there & Official Questions Are Being Asked about why he wasn’t removed.)

However, when visiting hours are 2pm to 8pm, people rolling up before half nine is... & yes, that means visitors as well as patients are overhearing Ward Rounds. And people stay well beyond 8pm as well, about 10-10:30pm being the standard. So I’ve had several days where the bay has been full of the noise & bustle of extra people (I’ve only been allowed up unaccompanied since late Sunday afternoon; & my ability to walk as far as the day room with one of my visitors [which of course is ALSO busy anyway] was only reached a few days before & tbh couldn’t really be relied on) 12[+] hours.

I’m now at the point where I’m “just” waiting for a care package to be arranged. But “medically fit for discharge” =/= “boundingly good health”. Woman in bed opposite currently has about half a dozen visitors (who traipsed in last night at almost quarter to eleven to take some more pictures of the view to go with the ones they’d taken a few hours earlier - to be fair they’d spent a few of hours in the day room after a few in the Bay); woman beside me has 2.

Am willing to accept I may be being grumpy-frustrated because I’ve been v ill & it’ll be far too long for my liking before I’m better (well, for a given value of better, don’t think the complex health needs are going anywhere ); my NJ tube is irksome; I have a sore throat & earache; & although I am now allowed up alone I’m still walking like I’m doing some kind of interpretive dance & until yesterday my feed was running for 20 hours so was having to trundle an IV pole (a sticky-wheeled one, naturally) about most of the time (will get 6 hours off today though: upped the feed rate: woo!); etc etc Reasons, blah... but it does all just seem a bit pointless having the rules really; & I’ve people who could visit me if they trotted up outside hours, but it just feels Wrong. I’ve literally NEVER been on a Ward that ignores Visiting like this. Closest I’ve come is the time my friend was allowed to stay an extra 30 minutes (we didn’t notice time, they didn’t announce end visiting & nobody else was visiting our Bay at that point) because my nurse thought it was really good for me & we weren’t disturbing anyone.

So essentially, AIBU unreasonable to think this Ward needs to either stop pretending they have visiting hours; or actual enforce the 2pm-8pm rules [other than in specific/exceptional circumstances]?

Visitors do come ‘out of hours’ for lots of reasons. Terminally ill patients, long distance travel, work commitments. Most do phone ahead and make special arrangements with the sister/charge nurse, ime.

Security live in A&E trying to prevent the nurses and Drs getting the shot kicked out of them by patients and visitors, there are not enough of them to deal with what goes on day in day out on 30 plus wards at a busy general hospital.
So it’s up to “staff to “control” visitors” as someone helpfully our further up. The staff are the nurses and as I mentioned in my last rant, they don’t have the time nor the energy to control their own need to get a cup of water, never mind these people.

Colleagues have been verbally abused and assaulted by visitors.
Once you’ve witnessed that, it kind of puts you off confronting them.

I enjoy chatting to family members, you learn so much vital and interesting information about “our ladies and gentlemen “ under our care. They are helpful, genuinely grateful and sometimes can see what we deal with. Lovely visitors are a joy, but they are few and far between now.

To visit, is possibly a small snap shot of the life on a ward, try doing14 hours with the dread of visitors coming knowing that your life is about to be made even more miserable by groups of people about to target you with their frustrations and anger.

I’m not there to control any one, I’m there to care.

TwinsTrollsandHunz

again, unless it's intensive care, it makes no sense.

Other countries manage, and don't lose more patients because they are given privacy. It's absolutely outrageous not to be entitled to a minimum of privacy and treat patients like cattle.

I don't blame nurses for the set-up, but I will never agree that it's right - and other countries manage just well!

Don't talk about the need to check on patients on a maternity ward when mothers are being kicked out after a few hours anyway, which horrifies foreign medical staff!

Patients need visitors to close their curtains when they are too weak or unable to get up themselves, how is that possibly be acceptable?

I think the solution is to keep open hours to accommodate shift workers and child care but to enforce a two hour /two person each visit allowance.

Are hospital patients allowed to call Security themselves if the nurses won't/can't deal with disruption?

What annoys me more is on the children's ward when the kids play music and iPads in the small hours with their parents when the ward is dark and my child is trying to sleep.

It's always difficult on children's wards but for children too young to understand headphones (or having SN where they can't have them on their head) the iPad could have been what stopped them from sobbing or having a meltdown which probably would have been much worse. They should have kept it on lower volume though.

crosser62 . It absolutely blows. My PIN expires next month, I’m not revalidating. I’m currently working the last week of my notice.

I'm a nurse and I don't agree with some of the comments being made on here. It may be true that in some places staff ask relatives to help with personal care and feeding, but in my ward that is certainly not the case. We have open visiting times where we are and I see it as nothing but beneficial. If relatives come in early in the morning when we would be doing personal care, we certainly do not expect them to take over from us so we can go on and do other things! We ask them politely to have a seat in the day room while we look after their relative then fetch them when we are done. I work in an acute ward where a lot of my patients are very scared, so being able to get their relatives in after they have finished work for the day to give them some comfort is a blessing! Yes some people do take the piss and sit there until 10pm but that's quite rare in my ward. I have never been a patient myself so I can't comment from that aspect and I completely understand that it's frustrating when relatives are noisy and there's loads of them huddled round (it's a nuisance for me trying to do my jobs too having to climb over people) but we have to remember that these patients are likely very anxious, and having family round them can be very comforting and be a great distraction from why they are in hospital in the first place.

YANBU

I've recently been in for 3 weeks. Visiting hours were 11am-8pm. Most people had someone with them all this time - I wasn't with frail people who couldn't wash themselves etc it was the gynae ward and basically some partners would set up camp for the whole day - I kept thinking that they could be at home tidying up.

I was bleeding profusely and kept leaking everywhere so had to walk across the whole ward in front of all the male visitors to change myself. Everyone could hear everyone's consultations so all the visitors heard the finer details of my gynaecological issues.

Yes I'm probably grumpy too but it's a fucking nuisance to be honest when you want to try to have a sleep or eat without everyone staring at you.

I'm in now and the nurses have been fantastic. They don't always answer the buzzer very promptly but I'm aware they've got something else on and it's not all about me.

I am annoyed with the visiting hours though. Theres a man in a private room who has his wife stay all night and lots of family members arrive at 7am and they were still here at 11pm (including a crying baby). Visiting hours here are 11-8pm which suits most but I know exceptions do need to be made. I just cant see how his set up is allowed to carry on. Along with the private room, he has a nice view too! I haven't seen outside in weeks.

Even 11am to 8pm sounds somewhat excessive? Sick people are supposed to rest.

I don't blame nurses they shouldn't have to be bouncers.
From what I experienced the staff would be first to benefit by getting rid of excess visitors.
They had constant calls to answer questions or requests (7 family members present but buzzing staff for Orange squash ) or dodging children playing.
It's not the fault of staff if there isn't enough.
You can't rely on people behaving appropriately any more people are just selfish and self absorbed.

I was admitted to an acute assessment ward last year with open visiting. After 24 hours of constant noise, no sleep and obnoxious visitors bringing stinky food in, I discharged myself which was a totally stupid thing to do as all my appointments and referrals got cancelled as a result.

kam610 , it’s nice to hear that there is at least one decent ward left in the UK then . I was a nurse for 30 yrs and in the last couple of years have not only looked after my poor mum ( see previous post) but also spent time in 2 different hospitals in a different trust and frankly the care has been atrocious on every occasion .

Sorry but I like flexible visiting hours. I have just spent the best part of 2 days sitting by my DDs bedside in hospital. Because she has just turned 18, she was placed on an adult mixed ward. She was by far the youngest there, she was worried about older men being around and wanted someone she knows helping her wash, dress etc. I am even more grateful for the flexible hours after I got a text from DD saying how last night someone was admitted with a severe MH problem and was shouting, screaming and running through the corridors (it is not MH ward) DD has never seen anything like this and she was upset by it all. The flexible times allowed me to go there first thing. I'm sure the nurses were grateful for having me there they had enough to deal with without teenage angst as well. The flexible hours enabled DD to pop in a see her too, something that would be difficult with otherwise due to work.

Colleagues have been verbally abused and assaulted by visitors. Once you’ve witnessed that, it kind of puts you off confronting them

I don't blame you at all, crosser; no HCP should have to tolerate that, which is why I mentioned security

And yes, I realise there probably aren't enough of them to go round ... so the obvious thing (though not, apparently, obvious to the Trusts) is to lose a few management posts and get some more of the folk who actually make a positive difference

The hospital I get admitted to has all private rooms, it's so much better than wards

My Grandmother just died in hospital (at 95) and visiting seemed to be when ever you felt like. She found random strangers wandering around at odd hours very hard to deal with.

When I had my youngest dc1, partners could stay 24/7.

If I ever need hospital again, I will be discharging myself as soon as possible because I don't think at our most vulnerable, we should essentially be in a zoo. When I was little, my mum wasn't even allowed to stay when I spent a week in hospital as a small child and I'm not that old (early 40s although it wasn't the UK).

The hospital I get admitted to has all private rooms, it's so much better than wards

they should all be like that!

Even a semi-private room with 2 patients would be a slight improvement on the communal wards who belong in the past and should stay there.

In our hospital the all the doors automatically lock at 9pm and reopen at 5 or 6am. Between this time access is only granted via A/E or via the reception which is manned by security - so visitors can only come in if they have an out of hours appointment or are visiting A/E.

It's dreadful, and a shame that wards still exist really, and doesn't seem necessary in this day and age.

Its great, as far as hospital can be, you get your own free to use TV too, plus all en suite, pretty good WiFi too.

Disagree, sorry. I'm not sure why it's necessary for patients to have social isolation enforced upon them during morning times? Certainly don't think it's conducive to their recovery. Evenings and night time I do agree visitors shouldn't be allowed, to ensure it doesn't disturb sleep etc.

My husband was in hospital for a couple of weeks recently and he was really down and anxious about his prognosis. It helped to have me come first thing in the morning (around 930) and to be there when the doctors came around so I could hear about test results etc and help to understand the info (rather than hearing it second hand through husband later, who struggled to understand some of what they were saying).

It cheered him up having me there. I was able to refill his water, and go with him for little walks etc. I went to the shop and got bits that his bed-neighbour wanted. This all took a load off the nurses.

I think that it depends on the circumstances- my DM is dying and the hospital has allowed my father to move in as she is so traumatised and distressed when he leaves. They have been given a previously disused room to stay in so it doesn't take beds away from someone else and he is able to help care for her. This also means that we are able to come and go without disturbing others (don't have to go through the main ward area either).

If you're in a general care ward though I think that patient rest is paramount and that visiting should be more closely controlled.