Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Update - relationship with boss

113 replies

user1471514421 · 23/07/2019 08:25

Hi all! I posted a little while back about relationship with boss and where it was going.

Things have escalated and he has made it clear he is interested. Things are fine in work, nothing untoward, it is the contact outside of work.

Up until now this has been a distraction and bit of fun, now it is becoming a bit real, I dont know what to do. I dont want to ruin my career, my marriage, plus he is also risking alot. Pls help!

OP posts:
TanteRose · 23/07/2019 08:26

oh behave!

AbbyNormal · 23/07/2019 08:28

Umm... surely you say, "I'm not interested and I'm married" and you stop the "bit of fun", whatever that has been so far. Not sure what else needs to be done.

MegaClutterSlut · 23/07/2019 08:29

Don't be a knob head op, you're bloody married ffs

Orlandointhewilderness · 23/07/2019 08:29

Surely you say ' I am a married woman and this is highly inappropriate.'!?! Unless of course you like the attention......

Oh wait.

ElspethFlashman · 23/07/2019 08:30

Well if it's already "escalated" then you're already on a road to self sabotage.

I presume you're enjoying it.

Best of luck, you're gonna need it.

AnneLovesGilbert · 23/07/2019 08:30

Get a new job.

StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff · 23/07/2019 08:31

So you're risking your marriage and your career but you don't know what to do? Hmm

sonjadog · 23/07/2019 08:32

I think you should go for it. Have an affair. Or decide to focus on your marriage and not have an affair. It is a choice you make. No help is needed from us. It is a choice that you make for yourself.

Cheeserton · 23/07/2019 08:32

Right. So you don't want to ruin your marriage but you don't know what to do?? Hmmm. Maybe STOP IT? Hmm

ShirleyPhallus · 23/07/2019 08:32

Sure

StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff · 23/07/2019 08:33

I actually think my username would be a pretty appropriate response right now Grin

Hidingwhoiam · 23/07/2019 08:34

So tell him you arent interested.

Personally, remembering you other threads, you are very unhappy and I think you are living every minute of his interest.

That's why you start threads about it. So you cant tall about all the drama some more.

Leave your husband. He deserves someone who isnt so overly in vested in their relationship with another man and the drama of it

AbbyNormal · 23/07/2019 08:34

Just had a quick browse of your previous threads to get in the loop as you mentioned posting about it before... you've posted several times about your unhappy marriage and I think two other posts about your flirtation with your single boss since May.

Stop. You have a husband and two small children. Your boss is single. You have everything to lose. If you're unhappy in your marriage then separate. Don't fuck up your relationship and your children and your job all at once. Get a grip.

billy1966 · 23/07/2019 08:34

OP, he is thinking with his penis, you need to start thinking with your brain.

Clearly you are playing with fire and have a complete shit storm headed your way.

Step away or accept you will have absolutely no control over the consequences of your actions.

Marriage destroyed.
Children hurt (if you have them)
Family disgusted with you.
Friends dismayed by you.
Huge gossip in your office.
Will you feel you have to change job.
Will the gossip follow you.

All in all, a shit storm.

Think hard.

BarbariansMum · 23/07/2019 08:35

So adultary or no adultary. I think you may be needing a divorce new job either way. How thrilling for you to be in this position! Hmm

taylorowmu · 23/07/2019 08:35

I dont know what to do. I dont want to ruin my career, my marriage, plus he is also risking alot. Pls help!

You don't know what to do Confused

Why don't you ask you husband for advice Grin

ShatnersWig · 23/07/2019 08:37

ODFOD

Original poster
user1471514421 · 23/07/2019 08:41

You are all 1000% right. I am an absolute mess, my head is in a shitstorm. I am struggling with alot of things and have definitely encouraged this

OP posts:
Proteinshakesandovieshat · 23/07/2019 08:41

This op also likes to basically make out it's all him and she isnt interested. Trying to cast herself almost in a victim role.

But as her other thread rolled on it was quite clear she was flirting back and cery interested.

Definitely not a victim.

taylorowmu · 23/07/2019 08:43

You are all 1000% right. I am an absolute mess,

Why though? You are a married woman with a career fgs.

Original poster
user1471514421 · 23/07/2019 08:45

taylorowmu, my head.all is rosy from the outside, I am so confused about it all

OP posts:
fairislecable · 23/07/2019 08:52

There is nothing rosy about your situation - be honest with yourself and leave your husband ( who you say is a good man).

Tell your boss that you are splitting up with DH - I bet he won’t find you so interesting then.

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a3623089-Aibu-help-with-marriage#88119069

Lovemusic33 · 23/07/2019 08:53

Anyone that cheats on their dh obviously isn’t happy with their marriage. I’m a strong believer that people cheat for a reason, you can’t love your dh if you are tempted by another man.

Decide what you want to do. If you don’t want to mess up your marriage then you need to find another job.

haloumi · 23/07/2019 08:54

Give Him One! … Have a great night of it! ..

Do all the stuff you wouldn't DARE do with your husband! ..

It will be great!

Trust Me!

Remember to POST EVERYTHING on here and keep the drama going!

Hidingwhoiam · 23/07/2019 08:54

You arent confused.

You aren't really into your husband anymore. You are bored with him and dont like him or fancy him.

You dont even care about him enough to have ended the marriage before you started getting your ego stroked by your boss. You feeling flattered is more important than your husband

You pursued this. Your head isnt a mess. You have made a seis of choices that have led you here. You know exactly was this is going, but hoping when it blows up in your face you can play the 'I dont know what I was thinking/he took advantage of me being vulnerable/I was lonely in my marriage/I couldnt think straight'

And all the other crap that cheaters come out with

Swipe left for the next trending thread