Class wedding - just me or is it a bit creepy?

[NotAnotherJaffaCake]

CofE primary, quite churchy. Rural catchment so no choice of schools unless you want to drive. They are organising a Class Wedding for one of the KS1 class - basically role playing a wedding at the local church.

Is it just me or is this creepy? Can't put my finger on it but it feels entirely inappropriate for small children. It's one thing kids messing about playing but another thing to be told by a vicar that God will not permit divorce. And there is no way this school will demonstrate a Jewish or Hindu wedding, let alone a gay one. And how do the kids whose parents have split up or never married in the first place feel?

AIBU?

This thread perfectly demonstrates why I'm now a teacher abroad! Some people in the UK will get offended about everything. Schools literally can't do ANYTHING right. It's crazy.

When I took my class to a Sikh temple, I had two (white, RC) parents refuse to let their children go. Apparently it "would confuse them"

There are always people who are going to kick off about their kids experiencing something outside of their beliefs or culture. I think it's sad.

Look at all the hurt feels I'm here lol wow, I take it none of you have been to a Muslim or Jewish school in particular, I don't know what you would do if you did...Collapse with overfeels

Its the Summer Holidays the schools are shut?

sara, it seems (as many people have pointed out, although to make somewhat different points than mine) pretty unlikely that a C of E school would act out an e.g. Hindu wedding.

But let's ask NotAnother – OP, do you know/how sure are you that other faiths will or won't be explored, and in what ways?

It's another sorry attempt by the Church of England to reinforce gender stereotypes and indoctrinate youngsters that marriage only happens between a male and a female.

This is so not the case in many CofE churches and schools. As I tried to explain in my previous posts, the OP has been rather unlucky if the vicar is against divorce and says women need to obey. She’s also been unlucky if the school doesn’t teach about other religions or same sex marriage!
CofE school should be teaching the correct curriculum!! And most vicars aren’t misogynistic and judgmental! The obeying and giving away are not in the service any more.

I went to a CofE primary, it was actually very liberal and my religious education was well rounded. I don't follow any faith, but I know the ins and outs of the most common. We didn't do a fake wedding but did go to church for services, we also visited a temple, a mosque and a synagogue to learn about their traditions and rites of passage. The overwhelming message was one of tolerance, acceptance and mutual interest. Looking back a lot of the stories we were told were fables or religious stories, but the focus was on the morality not the religious aspect. I'd send DS to a faith evil of it was similar. If you don't want your children engaging in religion though you need to consider where you educate them.

School not evil!

It’s weird. It reinforces gender stereotypes, doesn’t represent the diversity of the UK population and isn’t remotely educational.

You should check what vows the kids will be reading before letting your kid take part. Like you say, girls are not property to be given always

@stucknoue

The funny thing is, I bet most people here have never worked inside a Jewish or Muslim school...They do their own thing and wow is that an eye opener, yet this lot going on about a C of E school lol incredible! Here's the thing, if you dont like it oh well dont send your children to faith schools and don't care if other people and in what those children are learning or doing in those respective schools. It's not odd or weird, are they dancing around in underwear burning straw figures? Come on! As for we should be teaching all faiths etc why? As I say, may be some of you should working in other faith schools before saying what Christian faith schools should or should not be doing and what Christian parents should or should not be doing. I say let each faith and the respective schools do what they wish without spite from those who don't agree.

They won't say obey

Honestly what a load of hysterical nonsense on this thread

Like you say, girls are not property to be given always
Have you not read the thread? There is no ‘giving away’ in the current CofE service. Neither does she have to obey. The vows mirror one another completely. I’m taking two weddings this week and no one will be obeying anyone of be treated like property.
And I genuinely have only ever met one vicar who won’t marry divorcees (and I know dozens of vicars! Incidentally most of them also want marriage equality!)

Thankyou @TheHandsOfNeilBuchanan. I really hope that people read your post, because there are some really strange ideas here of what a CofE Aided school is.

As for we should be teaching all faiths etc why? Quite a few people on here have said: because it's a National Curriculum requirement.

YANBU

My class did this when I was in year 6. Even then I thought it was weird. All the popular kids got to be the main roles obvs!

I'm 46. I've never been to a Church Wedding, so would have found this very interesting as a child (and as an adult, tbh). It certainly sounds more fun than looking at pictures in a book or watching a video.

The NDN's kids are being brought up Christian - in their recent puppet shows (dolls dangled over the fence for our benefit), Spiderman and Deadpool have got married, Ariel and Kiana have divorced over the noise their baby Nemo made all night and then Superman eloped with Black Panther whilst wearing a teddy bear's dress. I think they are quite capable of differentiating between which is reality and which is play - and obviously that it's quite possible for same sex marriages to happen.

It's not creepy in my opinion. It's roleplay as learning about something may of us only know about from watching on telly - where the bride either expires on the way to the honeymoon, somebody always puts their hand up for any lawful impediment and, if the couple decide they've always loved somebody else, it's possible to just switch partners and they get married instead.

why is this creepy?
As part of religious teaching they will look at different ceremonies, it is a way of getting the children involved so they learn it better and it is more fun. they are showing a church of England ceremony because it is a church of England school. if you don't like their religious teaching send them to a non faith school.

The curriculum will talk about other faiths and important ceremonies in those faiths. The bride doesn't have to say she will obey and there is nothing in the religious ceremony that says a man has to give the bride away.
It's going to be a very long 7 years if you object and get angry about issues without knowing the details or understanding them. I do think you should look for another school. This isn't the right setting for you.

Learning about marriage is part of the curriculum. Acting it out is age appropriate. The alternative is to learn from a text book and answer comprehension questions.

I haven't been to a c of e wedding in 20 years when anyone has said obey and the c of e has many openly gay priests. General synod have recently been debating gay weddings in churches. Every c of e church has to now be inclusive.

If all this religious stuff is so outrageous for you, maybe you should ask to see their RE curriculum. C of E schools are required by law to teach about other religions.

Bit weird imho. And I'm not keen on emphasising marriage within "RE" as if it's somehow not relevant if you are non religious. Fine to discuss it and talk about it in the context of relationships/phse/citizenship but I would dislike role playing it from the perspective of a single faith.

I don't remember ever having to do this sort of thing at school as a child and it hasn't stopped me being aware of and understanding marriage

Hayleyrob in many parts of the country you have little choice as to whether you go to a CofE school. Many villages have only one school and they tend to be old CofE ones. The nearest non religious school may be many miles away and oversubscribed with zero chance of getting a place.

Like many people I would prefer all schools to be non religious but we don't get a choice.

And I'm not keen on emphasising marriage within "RE"
It's one of the Sacraments which are part of the curriculum.

'I'm with the "this is weird as fuck"' camp. Aside from anything else, it's completely unnecessary. If kids want to play 'dress up' they can find some less elaborate way of their doing this: perhaps the more bog-standard 'dressing-up box'. If they want to teach them about religion: likewise. But this isn't as innocent as simply playing dress-up: it's about instilling ideology relating to adult relationships (for which read 'morals' and sexuality) in young children.

I find the protestations that it 'won't "scar" children quite strange: it doesn't have to traumatize them to be inappropriate. And it could also be tantamount to brainwashing. To me, this would be all shades of 'no'.

There's a Catholic strand in my immediate orbit, and I've attended those bizarre confirmations in which little girls (aged about 7, not the usually-recommended 14) are dressed up as brides in veils. Considering veils are the traditional symbol of purity (which is generally in the case of brides about to be sacrificed on the altar of marriage and adult sexuality) I find this creepy and inappropriate to the nth degree.

Sorry, not sorry.

I can't believe how many people are ok with this. It is vile on a number of levels
Sexual abuse of children is "vile"
Trafficking vulnerable refugees for modern slavery is "vile"
Beating 90 year old ladies for their handbags is "vile"

A bunch of children playing weddings in a church to learn about marriage is not