Bringing sweets for my kids all the time

[Ineedtoknowit]

Tell me I’m BU if I am! Dh thinks I am.
Every time the kids’ grandma sees the kids (age 4and 7) she brings them a treat bag, consisting of a fruit shoot, a packet of crisps, sweets and chocolate bar. She sees them every week to 2 weeks on average. Even if we go to the cinema etc with them they will bring same treat bag even though I will have brought a drink and some small snacks already.
I try not to have many treats in the house as when we do, the kids constantly ask for them and I mean constantly. So when she brings them treats all the time I feel it causes me a problem as I then have a battle at home. They often bring sweets home from parties and school fairs, and are given a LOT for birthdays, Easter, Christmas, so it feels like I can never have a sweet free house or anywhere close to. Her response when I said they’re always pestering me For treats is to tell them they can have bread and butter. Obviously I can and do offer other things but it never stops the pestering.
The other issue is the single use plastic bottles that fruit shoots are in. This drives me mad as we’re trying to cut down on single use plastic.
Maybe I’m BU and I know treats from a grandparent is normal but I feels it’s too much. The other grandparent who sees them much less frequently will bring a colouring book or something, never treats.

Should I ask her to cut it down or am I being over the top?

She provides treats so you don’t have to. Result!

Once every week to two weeks? Yabu.

Think you are been a bit unreasonable it's once a week not every day.

Yabu totally

My nan does this for my two boys - a bag each of sweets, packet of crisps and a drink. It makes her happy and I don't let them eat it all at once. There are worse things in life

If you know she brings them to the cinema, why do you take things as well?

Yabu and really need to get a grip. Its every 2 weeks not every day.
And what do you want her to do about the plastic? Seriously

Well actually I think I’ve every right to want to cut down on single use plastics.
But ok I’m BU, I accept that, thanks for the responses

Grandparents do love to spoil their grandchildren. It’s only every 1-2 weeks and not all the time.
Just make sure you recycle the fruit shoot bottles!
My grandad akways visited us on a Sunday and always bought us a big bag of chocolate bars. This lasted us the week with a bar every other day or so after dinner. I’m sure my parents dipped in too! It’s a nice memory of my grandad who no longer is with us.

You can recycle the fruit shoot bottle.

Really though, is it not widely known now that hardly any of the plastic we put in the recycling bin actually gets recycled?

They sound very loved and very lucky :)

I think it’s ok for her to give them a treat every now and again. It’s not very frequent really. As for the plastic, could you ask her to pop in a drink carton or something easier to recycle instead of the bottle?

OP it’s admirable for you to be cutting down on YOUR use of plastic, but this is a treat from their Grandparents.

You are totally reasonable about the plastic. And yes re the recycling myth. We need a massive step change away from "it's fine, put it in the recycling" to looking for sensible alternatives to plastic.
Re frequency of treats, no idea as my son is very small so haven't experienced this yet.

Since Grandma brings lots of treats and you dont want to have too many in the house let the kids regulate themselves. Once grandmas treats are gone they are gone. You wont buy any so there isnt a backup.

Involve grandma ( actually i this MIL or DM ) and ask her to change what she brings so that its more easily divided into several treats over the 2 weeks. She can change the drink too for a carton for example( Im strugging to think of a Kids drink that doesnt involve plastic at some stage).

My MIL does this but with vast quantities of treats plus things like yogurts, fruit and babybels, which just end up in the bin because DD isn’t going to eat it all before the use by date.

I find it really insulting because she acts like we can’t feed our daughter. I put up with it at first but now I take it out to her car when she’s going and explain that we already bought XYZ in our weekly shop so she has to take it away with her because they will just go to waste.

I know how you feel, OP, and I don't think you are BU.
Kids pestering all the time gets really annoying, and if you've a house full of treats they always know.
Agree about the plastics too.
If you get on ok with grandma (his mum?) could you chat about something that she could do with the kids that isn't about buying sweets or plastic crap.

That’s frequent enough that it would bother me. It means you can never be the one buying them, as you say, by the time there’s sweets from parties etc.

It’s not her fault that plastic doesn’t all get recycled. Usually it doesn’t get recycled because it has not been rinsed properly beforehand. That’s what we are told here by our waste collection people.

It’s a small bag of crisps, a bag of sweets and a little drink once a week or fortnight. It’s not like it’s every day. Let them enjoy these little treats and let her enjoy giving them. Life is short, you never know how much longer they have got with their grandma.

I get the plastic, can’t you just ask her to stop the fruit shoot for a 50p for their piggy bank and let her carry on with the rest? How old are the kids? My 6 year old started telling people off about single use plastic last year after they had an environment week at school

Its what grandparents are for. Let her spoil them. When you have grandkids you won't be bringing them crudités and dip.

When you go to meet her why do you take snacks when you know she'll have brought some?

I think that’s it. It’s probably not grandmas fault it’s just that there are so many avenues for treats and sweets that it really is all the time. At Easter grandma bought them so much chocolate that they were eating it 3 months later with a reasonable amount every day and the grandparents friends bought them some too. My kids are getting used to eating sweets and chocolate every day because we always have it in and it’s never because I’ve bought it! Obviously I can say no and do but the pester power is unrelenting when they know it’s in the house. They forget about it when we don’t have it but that v rarely happens!

Ahh - the bread and butter line! The one my mum regularly trotted out and possibly the reason I love bread and butter so much today.

YABU. grandparents spoil, parents parent. It’s only every week or two. And if the kids are pestering you it’s because you sometimes give in. If you don’t give in to pestering it fizzles out. It’s not too late to stand firm and say ‘the more you pester and whine, the longer it will be until you get anything’. And then stand by it.

Mum up here. Your role here is make sure your kids have a healthy diet - if that means being the bad cop and only allowing treats or sweets in limited amounts, then do that. Particularly taking snacks to the cinema when you know that Granny will too. Let the cinema be your treat and the sweets can be Granny’s contribution.