Bringing sweets for my kids all the time

[Ineedtoknowit]

Tell me I’m BU if I am! Dh thinks I am.
Every time the kids’ grandma sees the kids (age 4and 7) she brings them a treat bag, consisting of a fruit shoot, a packet of crisps, sweets and chocolate bar. She sees them every week to 2 weeks on average. Even if we go to the cinema etc with them they will bring same treat bag even though I will have brought a drink and some small snacks already.
I try not to have many treats in the house as when we do, the kids constantly ask for them and I mean constantly. So when she brings them treats all the time I feel it causes me a problem as I then have a battle at home. They often bring sweets home from parties and school fairs, and are given a LOT for birthdays, Easter, Christmas, so it feels like I can never have a sweet free house or anywhere close to. Her response when I said they’re always pestering me For treats is to tell them they can have bread and butter. Obviously I can and do offer other things but it never stops the pestering.
The other issue is the single use plastic bottles that fruit shoots are in. This drives me mad as we’re trying to cut down on single use plastic.
Maybe I’m BU and I know treats from a grandparent is normal but I feels it’s too much. The other grandparent who sees them much less frequently will bring a colouring book or something, never treats.

Should I ask her to cut it down or am I being over the top?

On your side here OP. Just say No. Tell her outright not to bring any more. Blame the dentist if you have to.

Grandparents are not there to spoil and or give my kids cavities, thanks. So everyone saying that here can wind their gransnet necks in and give their heads a wobble.

YABU apart from the plastics

I feel for you OP. I never offer my grandchildren or other children what people on here call "treats" i.e. sugar based trash and empty calories. To me a treat for children is a trip to somewhere they find exciting such as the seaside with rock pools teeming with life or a dark forest to explore, trees to climb, books of interest to them, or a game they love.
I suggest you explain that all of their so called treats will be impounded as you have decided as their mother that harmful stuff is completely unacceptable as it is bad for them. Please suggest alternatives if they wish to bring stuff e.g. Lego people, colouring books, arts and crafts stuff, bubbles, etc.
Sometimes people just lack imagination and need help to understand what children will love.

YABU! She's a granny. This is what granny's do! If it were every day I'd get it but once or twice every two weeks? Calm down.

Her response when I said they’re always pestering me For treats is to tell them they can have bread and butter

It’s not once every two weeks when the effects are longer lasting.

You’ve asked her to stop. She’s ignored you.

YABU over the sweets.. You may have a point over the bottles, and you should say firmly to her that you do not want her buying them any drinks in plastic bottles, but allow the sweets, so you both compromise.

No namechangedonceagain that is NOT what grannies do. Not if they really care about their granchildren.

YABU. I think most loving Grandma’s do this, I know my Gran did and my Mum does now. It’s just such a Grandparent thing to do really, she’s only trying to be kind and really means no harm.

You know I'd love my daughter to have a grandma that did this. My mum died when I was young and her other nan isn't the greatest, my Nan spoils her when she sees her as she is a proper nan and you cannot leave her house without eating 😂. I don't think a couple of fruitshoot bottles will ruin your campaign, they can be recycled. A couple of treats a fortnight are not going to hurt. I'm much more of a fan of all things in moderation, they don't turn into monsters or take the pee as it's not a big thing and have nothing to rebel against

Can you negotiate the contents of the bag down?

Change the fruit shoot for an innocent smoothie, keep the crisps, lose the sweets OR the chocolate, and it's not too bad.

I'm with you on the single use plastics. Can you keep the Fruit shoot bottle and give it back to her to refill with ribena and have a few of them on rotation?

Could I please ask people to look into how much energy and water it takes to make plastic stuff and stop saying things like "just recycle" this or that?
Most stuff can't actually be recycled and it takes again lots of energy and water plus new raw materials and money to do so.

Stop buying crap.

Exacrly Dancingrobot
Some mixed responses which I guess is what I expected. Thanks for the replies and those offering suggestions

If you know she brings them to the cinema, why do you take things as well?
This ^^
And eat the crisps yourself. Tell her to stop the fruit shoot and all they're getting is a few sweets and a chocolate bar. Hell you can ever eat the chocolate for them. Once it;s gone they can't pester because there isn't anything left. If they complain you can say that gran bought it to share with you & DH. Sorted. It's really not a problem unless you want it to be.

Why would you change a fruit shoot to innocent smoothie. It is much unheslthier and still in plastic? Am I missing something?

Yep, and not so innocent since they were sold to CocaCola

Grandparents are not there to spoil and or give my kids cavities, thanks. So everyone saying that here can wind their gransnet necks in and give their heads a wobble.

Christ, as if everyone who disagrees with you must be from Gransnet!

My dad brings treats for the DC when he visits. Astoundingly, neither has had any cavities or decay yet (13 and 8 years old) and both have perfect pearly whites as decreed by our lovely dentist. It's perfectly possible for children to have sugar in their diet and maintain great dental hygiene. Anyone who doesn't know that probably needs a little head wobble of their own.

Grandparents can spoil their gc without encouraging obesity and type 2 diabetes.

Treats every 2 weeks isn't going to be detrimental but if they've got so much they're eating it everyday YANBU. I'd put a stop to it and say that it really does need to be once every couple of weeks.

I had this battle with my mother many years ago. I would have thought that today's grandparents are more aware of childhood obesity, dental caries, diabetes etc. Perhaps you could inform her if she's ignorant of the risks.
I allowed it, but insisted that DS cleaned his teeth straight away.

I'd negotiate. Ask her to stop the fruit shoot. Then ask her to make small changes to the sweets and choc. Small bars, small packets. A mini bag of Haribo and a chomp once a fortnight isn't so bad.

Never mind unreasonable you’re being ridiculous. Isn’t this what grandparents are known for?

Why is it just accepted as a blanket rule that grandparents get to overrule the parents? Fuck that. They've had their turn.

I was expecting you to say brings sweets every day or something but every 1-2 weeks is totally fine imo and I think YABU in this situation sorry

Plastic bottles are regularly recycled, it's other things that are problematic

Yes maybe they get recycled (have you asked your local authority how much they can guarantee is recycled), but how much energy does it take to produce the plastic and recycle it again? How much fossil fuels for the virgin plastic?
Seriously, people, educate yourselves on the scale of the problem, and take some responsibility, otherwise the planet will be unrecognisable to your children and childhood obesity and tooth decay will be the least of our worries.

Agree London. Every time we buy something plastic with a view to throwing it away, it’s compounding the problem. There is no good way of getting rid of that plastic. No way at all. We have to stop using so much plastic!