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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Using birthday money for essentials

135 replies

IceIceCoffee · 19/07/2019 06:57

I have a one year old they have so many toys. They have some birthday money from relatives. Would you save it or put it towards their new car seat as then it’s going on something useful?
I think I’d be unreasonable to put it towards the seat but not sure if it’s just parent guilt.
So would I be unreasonable to use it towards the seat?
Thanks

OP posts:
NavyBlueHue · 19/07/2019 06:59

Unless you’re really struggling I’d not use it for the seat. Put it in a bank account for them when they’re older.

MinnieMountain · 19/07/2019 06:59

Save it. It's their money. DS has a children's ISA for birthday/Christmas money.

SavoyCabbage · 19/07/2019 07:01

I would save it. Definitely don’t buy more toys.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/07/2019 07:03

I see no problem with this, it’s a car seat for them. People are always conscious on mn about waste and consumerism being out of hand- I think it’s a good idea.
I’m sure if your LO is missing a toy or a book you will buy them yourself anyway

TeachersPetMonkey · 19/07/2019 07:06

I think it depends on how you are financially. If you can afford a car seat without using dc money then I would save their birthday money for when they are older. If you are struggling then I think it's fine to use the money to buy things that your child needs.

BeanBag7 · 19/07/2019 07:08

If you can't afford the seat then use the birthday money. If you can afford it then I wouldn't use it.
If your son has too many toys maybe use the money for an experience instead. We bought a season ticket for a local farm park so we can go there for days out

transformandriseup · 19/07/2019 07:09

I would spend it on the car seat if I would struggle to buy one otherwise. If it was just a case of having too many toys you could save the money for your child.
I have a gift voucher my work gave me when my DD was born and I’m saving it for when she is a bit older to buy an outdoor present as she didn’t neee anymore baby things.

WanderingTrolley1 · 19/07/2019 07:09

If you need to use the birthday money, use it.

Disfordarkchocolate · 19/07/2019 07:13

I ask my son if there is anything he needs for his daughter before I buy presents. At 1 her needs are for more important than toys and some needs like car seats are very expensive. So for it's been small toys and money each time, I'm glad to be doesn't have to worry about what his daughter needs as much as I didn't when my children were little.

Onescaredmuma · 19/07/2019 07:15

I'd buy the seat and if someone I'd given money to used it for a car seat I'd be really happy it went to something so useful for the child.
A good car seat is vital and can't wait. We put it off for quite a while then we were bought a new (second hand) car so we bought a very good car seat 5 days later me and 2 of my children were in a very bad crash I was hurt both my kids were unharmed in their car seats but it still haunts me that's had we not replaced the car seat it could have been very different.

FilthyforFirth · 19/07/2019 07:17

Depends if you need it. I personally would and do put it in a savings account. DS will thank you when he's older.

Original poster
IceIceCoffee · 19/07/2019 07:18

I’m not in a great financial position but it has been budgeted for so it’s doable without the money. I just considered that it may be a good use of it but wasn’t sure.
Thank you for the replies

OP posts:
WishingILivedOnAnIsland · 19/07/2019 07:18

Just buy the car seat with it. Children have so much unnecessary stuff, it's silly to create more landfill.

forkfun · 19/07/2019 07:19

I've used birthday money for practical items when mine were little. Interest rates are so low that any smallish amount of money put into a normal savings account is pretty much wasted because of inflation. Now, that they are old enough, they get to spend any birthday money however they want.

Di11y · 19/07/2019 07:21

I'd save it. I'd be happy to use it on a trip or meal out or something.

Redwinestillfine · 19/07/2019 07:21

I really don't see an issue with using it for a car seat. At least it's something useful for your 1 year old, much better than more plastic tat.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 19/07/2019 07:25

If I gift money to a child I expect them too have something fun with it or to save until there was something they wanted.

I’d certainly be unhappy with their parents using it to fund parenting basics.

BelulahBlanca · 19/07/2019 07:25

Get the car seat, much better then a meal or day out that isn’t going to make any difference to a one year old.

Myfoolishboatisleaning · 19/07/2019 07:27

We used to put it in the bank, then withdraw, then replace, ad infinitum. We are in a much better position financially now, so can pay for all those rainy days anyway. I think it is best to use it as you see fit, they don’t know!

StrongTea · 19/07/2019 07:28

Why don’t you spend half of the money on the car seat. Other half on something your child would like.

EleanorReally · 19/07/2019 07:29

Use for a car seat, it is a necessity

DarkHumour · 19/07/2019 07:30

If you’re not in a great financial position at the moment, why don’t you put half towards the seat and the remainder in a savings account?

coconuttelegraph · 19/07/2019 07:31

Do what you need to do for your best financial situation. Don't make yourself short because wealthier strangers tell you that you must save it.

Wouldn't the person the money came from by happy that youd made your child safer?

81Byerley · 19/07/2019 07:32

If I give my daughter money for a child's birthday, I usually say "Buy something they need or want, or put it towards a family day out". I'd be very happy if she used it for a car seat.

curlii103 · 19/07/2019 07:34

Use it and dont for a second feel bad about it. Children are expensive and people close enough to give them money will understand.

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