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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Using birthday money for essentials

135 replies

IceIceCoffee · 19/07/2019 06:57

I have a one year old they have so many toys. They have some birthday money from relatives. Would you save it or put it towards their new car seat as then it’s going on something useful?
I think I’d be unreasonable to put it towards the seat but not sure if it’s just parent guilt.
So would I be unreasonable to use it towards the seat?
Thanks

OP posts:
2beautifulbabs · 19/07/2019 08:18

Put it into a saving account that's what we do for both our DCs any money they get birthday Christmas goes into saving account or at moment we've now asked for money towards hobbies they do like swimming, days out etc instead of toys

Drivemecrazy1974 · 19/07/2019 08:18

I really don't see the problem with you purchasing a car seat with the money. At a year old, your baby is not going to know that they have money waiting to buy toys! Surely, that is what people have given birthday money for - for you to make the decision what to use it for. I'd have no problem with somebody spending money I had given their child for such an item. In fact, I'd be glad that they'd used it wisely.

tomatostottie · 19/07/2019 08:20

I'd spend it on the car seat if I didn't have the money available otherwise. If you do have the money for the car seat, then save the birthday money in a bank account.
My parents saved birthday money for years and it ended up being quite a nice amount by the time I was about 12 or 13 when they first told me about this special bank account. I was then able to use the money saved to buy a decent musical instrument which I needed at the time.

BertieBotts · 19/07/2019 08:20

If you are on a tight budget BTW, Joie and Britax are two brands which make good quality, well tested seats at the more affordable end of the price bracket.

HorridHenrysNits · 19/07/2019 08:20

If I had given you the money, I would not personally give a shit whether you spent it on an essential to make your child safer or saved it.

Fundays12 · 19/07/2019 08:20

If you cannot afford the car seat otherwise use the money but if you can put it in a bank account for them when they are older. I have saved half the money my kids get for birthdays etc in accounts and it soon mounts up. My newborn was given £120 in cash and it will go in s bank account for him as he doesn’t need anything.

FriarTuck · 19/07/2019 08:21

If I gift money to a child I expect them too have something fun with it or to save until there was something they wanted. I’d certainly be unhappy with their parents using it to fund parenting basics.

Boysey45 · 19/07/2019 08:21

I'd put it towards anything the child needs so a car seat is fine. As long as your spending it on drink or drugs etc I don't see a problem.

Nameusernameuser · 19/07/2019 08:21

I spent Ds birthday money and when I eventually get round to opening his bank account I'll replace it all. Just how life works sometimes

FriarTuck · 19/07/2019 08:21

There was supposed to be a '^ this' after that!

Chilledout11 · 19/07/2019 08:21

I would absolutely buy the car seat. No question. The child is one. That's what they need at the moment.

Littlechocola · 19/07/2019 08:23

I would be happy to know that birthday money I had given had gone on something the child needed.

MarthasGinYard · 19/07/2019 08:24

You've 'budgeted' for the car seat so why on earth would you use the money they had been gifted?

I'd pop it in their savings.

icecreamsundae32 · 19/07/2019 08:24

I've used birthday money to buy the children new clothes or shoes - they are into designer labels now and family can't afford to buy them the designer stuff but they know their money is going towards the stuff the kids want. Or PlayStation games or a bike etc. If I needed to I would have used it for a car seat as it's still being used on the child and as you say they don't need billions of toys!

separatebeds · 19/07/2019 08:25

I think you should use the money to buy the car seat. A decent car seat is a great present for your 1yr old child and I am sure they gifters will be pleased that their money has not been wasted on crap toys, sweets, unnecessary clothing, game subscriptions and all the usual stuff we waste money on.

You will also get resale value on a decent seat as well.

Piffle11 · 19/07/2019 08:27

Save it if you can. Then when your DC is older and wanting an iPad - or whatever the thing is at the time - you won't be wondering where the money is going to come from.

Mrsjayy · 19/07/2019 08:27

I would buy the carseat I am sure the gift givers would rather you did thst than not.

The poster who had the gift voucher be careful it doesn't expire.

growlingbear · 19/07/2019 08:28

It's a brilliant use of the money OP. Presents can be practical as well as fun. It's day-to-day comfort and potentially lifesaving. Couldn't ask more from a present.

SleepingSoul · 19/07/2019 08:29

When my DD was little family would buy her a small present and give us a cheque knowing full well she had plenty of toys. The cheque always went straight into her savings account. It means even though I haven't been in a position to put much away for her or do so regularly she'll have some money for driving lessons/ uni/ deposit on a home when she's older. If you've budgeted for the car seat I'd save the money for them.

NothingBreaksLikesAHeart · 19/07/2019 08:29

If you can afford the car seat without using the money, put it into a savings account instead

whatthewhatthewhat · 19/07/2019 08:30

Add it to your existing car seat budget and upgrade to a car seat that will do from this stage to 12 yrs!

coconuttelegraph · 19/07/2019 08:31

If I gift money to a child I expect them too have something fun with it or to save until there was something they wanted. I’d certainly be unhappy with their parents using it to fund parenting basics

Unless you happen to be the OP's relative that's not relevant.

I would be perfectly happy in that situation and that's irrelevant too, the OP knows her relatives best

altiara · 19/07/2019 08:37

As you said you’d budgeted for the car seat already, then I’d save the money eg towards their first bike or if they have no savings at all, then definitely get them started with a savings account.

ASundayWellSpent · 19/07/2019 08:42

I wouldn't even think twice about buying the car seat! The money that my daughters get from family goes to a gift if they specifically state that, but most just say "for the girls" and I buy them new shoes, a special party dress, a set of art lessons, horse riding lessons, whatever I consider necessary or nice and noone has ever been bothered!

ShanghaiDiva · 19/07/2019 08:43

I would put it in their savings account. DS had over £20K saved by the time he was 18 due to money gifted for birthday, Xmas etc. We lived overseas so all relatives gave money rather than posting gifts.