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AIBU?

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Original poster

Using birthday money for essentials

135 replies

IceIceCoffee · 19/07/2019 06:57

I have a one year old they have so many toys. They have some birthday money from relatives. Would you save it or put it towards their new car seat as then it’s going on something useful?
I think I’d be unreasonable to put it towards the seat but not sure if it’s just parent guilt.
So would I be unreasonable to use it towards the seat?
Thanks

OP posts:
blackcat86 · 19/07/2019 07:34

I would put it in their bank account. DD turns 1 next month and this is what I intend to do for her.

SoyDora · 19/07/2019 07:34

If I give money to a child I trust their parent to do what they think is best with it. If that’s putting it towards essentials then great.
I don’t give it with conditions attached to what it’s spent on.

EleanorReally · 19/07/2019 07:36

you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about,
i was given vouchers when i went on maternity leave.
a car seat was acquired.

the people who gave the money would be happy that you got a car seat

Ellmau · 19/07/2019 07:40

Ask the relative ?

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 19/07/2019 07:51

I’d put it in a bank account for them, but only if I could buy the car seat anyway.

Isatis · 19/07/2019 07:55

Seems to me it's an excellent opportunity to start a savings account for your child.

cakecakecheese · 19/07/2019 07:56

Your child needs a car seat. Use it to buy a car seat. It's not like you're spending it a handbag for yourself.

Mintychoc1 · 19/07/2019 07:58

No brainer - definitely buy the car seat. There’s no point in saving it, it’ll be worth so much less in a few years.

dottiedodah · 19/07/2019 08:00

I would try to save it if possible .Childrens Savings Accounts generally attract a better rate of Interest TBH. I think unless you are really up against it ,This is the kind of thing that relatives /friends would expect you to do.

CielBleuEtNuages · 19/07/2019 08:02

I'd save it.

I often give my nephew money for his savings because his parents aren't in a position to save much for him, and he gets dozens of toys every birthday from other people. So I send money (and a small present to unwrap) for his savings.

StripeySocks29 · 19/07/2019 08:03

I’d use it to buy the car seat, you can always put that money back in his account when you’re in a better financial position in future.

SparkyBlue · 19/07/2019 08:05

I would put it towards the car seat no question. I have often been given money for my dc as gifts and I use it to buy whatever is needed. I just had my third baby and got a lot of cash gifts which went towards buying baby supplies. Same if I gave someone a cash gift for a child it's to be used for whatever that parent wants or needs either for the child or the household. I find that people give cash gifts as they don't want to buy a gift that's not used and will go to waste so they would rather the recipient buys something they DO need.

CielBleuEtNuages · 19/07/2019 08:05

"There’s no point in saving it, it’ll be worth so much less in a few years."

I totally disagree with this. Having savings is so important.

The OP says the car seat has been budgeted for so it's not meaning they go without food. And in a household with not much spare money (from the sounds of it) being able to save a few quid every birthday and Christmas will help when the DC is older and asking for more expensive presents.

TheBabyAteMyBrain · 19/07/2019 08:07

My family is rather a practical bunch so for ds' first birthday they gave money towards a car seat rather than more toys which weren't needed. The grandparents always give shoe money.

I would put it towards a carseat, if you're worried just mention it to the givers and see what they say.

Dontsweatthelittlestuff · 19/07/2019 08:07

Save it. If you save all his birthday/Christmas/gift money for the first 18 years of his life he will have a head start for uni/driving lessons/car when the time comes.

LordEmsworth · 19/07/2019 08:09

I would be delighted if money I gave for my niece/nephew's birthday was used on something they would get real benefit from on a regular basis. I would think it's an excellent use of the money, much better than more toys to add to a massive pile they already have.

zingally · 19/07/2019 08:10

I'd spend it on the car seat without a moment's thought.

I think financial gifts for babies are given with the understanding that they are either put into bank accounts, or spent on some necessary bit of equipment/something the child actively needs. I'm absolutely certain the giver will be pleased you spent it on something useful.

gamesanddaisychains · 19/07/2019 08:10

If you're not in a great position financially I think it is a good idea to use the child's birthday money for something as practical and essential as a car seat. I wouldn't have a problem at all with money I had given as a birthday gift being used like this, very sensible solution.

reluctantbrit · 19/07/2019 08:12

A one year old benefits more from a good car seat than anything else. At that age they are happy with a baby swing in the park, an expensive day out is wasted on them.

You could split the money if you already budgeted for the seat and keep some money aside for later to pay for a toddler class or a membership for something like a soft play or National Trust next year when he benefits from it more.

PoppyFleur · 19/07/2019 08:12

When I give money as a gift I don’t attach terms to it but trust the parents do what is necessary for the child. Use it on the car seat and don’t feel guilty.

nettie434 · 19/07/2019 08:13

I would be really pleased if birthday money from me was used for a car seat. I’d much prefer to think the money was going on something that was useful and used daily. Could you buy a really nice car seat and then send a photo to everyone whose money helped pay for it?

LellyMcKelly · 19/07/2019 08:14

If I gave your child some birthday money I’d be delighted if you bought a car seat with it. It’s a sensible, practical gift that your child will get a lot of use out of it. Far better than yet more tat.

Bluntness100 · 19/07/2019 08:15

In an ideal world you would save it for him, but if you're struggling financially I think it's fine to use it for essentials for him,

BertieBotts · 19/07/2019 08:16

Group 1 car seats are so expensive and the very cheap ones are catastrophic in terms of safety, unlike infant carriers and booster seats, so it's worth investing a little more (money and research) into this stage IMO. It will also improve their life in terms of enjoyment of car trips if the extra money means you are able to buy something which is more comfortable, easier to use, has more recline positions or a nicer harness for example.

Many people buy clothes for babies who are too little to care what they are wearing, it's no different to that IMO.

averythinline · 19/07/2019 08:18

Personally I would be very happy that money went to a good car seat...
however it is also useful for dc to have savings even if interest rates are rubbish so I would probably save half...