WIBU to not have DP’s nieces as my bridesmaids?

[StrawberryAndRaspberryTea]

Starting to plan our wedding, albeit roughly at the mo as still saving up, but whilst we were looking at wedding related bits and pieces online together last night, I asked DP if he thinks his sister will expect to be my bridesmaid.
He said no, but he reckons she’ll expect her daughters to be. The thing is, I’m really not that close with DP’s sister, and even less so with her children who we only really see at special occasions such as birthdays, Christmas etc.

I was only planning on having my step sister (who’s also my best friend) as my maid of honour, and her daughter as a bridesmaid or flower girl, and that’s it. It’s going to be a small wedding on a small budget, and I can’t shake this feeling that the bridesmaids should be my choice?
For instance, I wouldn’t hint at or tell DP who he should have as his groomsmen or his best man, because I feel that’s his decision to make and not mine, likewise, I think the bridesmaids should be down to the bride..

FWIW, DP isn’t fussed whether his nieces are bridesmaids or not - don’t know whether that makes any difference here!

WIBU to not have DP’s nieces as my bridesmaids? (Future) SIL is very upfront, opinionated and can be brutal at times (as can future MIL who I'm also wary of pissing off regarding this) so I’m worried she will be pushy and try and get her daughters to be involved, and if I say no - which I think I’m within my rights to, but not sure! - I’m anxious that she’ll hold it against me. I don't want to cause drama within his family before I've even become a proper part of it, but at the same time, I don't want to find myself in a position where I feel pressured in to having people involved in my wedding that I simply wouldn't choose myself, and that DP isn't bothered about either!

WWYD?

I think that as we get older, generally of it's a second marriage, then it becomes less about joining two families together and more about the individuals concerned. My first marriage was very traditional - bridesmaids from both sides and my brother was best man as my husband was an only child who had little in the way of family. My family were immigrants from what was then czechoslovakia. I think there was very much a sense of needing to belong to something bigger and form a proper family.

I'm due to marry again at some point when we get around to it. This time it will be smaller and about what we want. I don't see his family as mine and he feels the same way. I barely know his grown up daughter as she lives in Canada and doesn't visit often. I haven't met half of his massive family and I don't care if I don't. He hasn't met half of mine. This marriage is different and would be classes an incomprehensible by some people (especially as we won't live together after). It's just a different marriage for a different set of circumstances.

It's ok to have who you want with you. It is about you and your husband marking your love for each other. No one else.

YANBU

The two people you've picked already sound perfect. The idea you should increase the bridesmaids from two to five is ridiculous. Doubly so when there's only 25 people in attendance. Adding in the male attendants and the bride and groom, who'll be left to sit in the 'audience'?!

When I got married I had my sister (only sibling) and two best friends (twins). I got on well with future husband's only sister, and the daughters of his brother seemed nice enough girls (aged about 11, 13, 15 at the time), but it never even occurred to me to ask them to be my bridesmaids, especially when I had other friends and cousins I could've asked instead. No one ever mentioned it, so either no one cared, or they were too mature and polite to do so.

I was a bridesmaid at my uncle's wedding, even though we only saw them once a year. I think for the sake of family tieswith his side the girls should be asked. It isn't very expensive.

YANBU
Of course it is your day! A wedding is all about the bride and groom. Everyone else is there to support them and witness the event.

You are doing something to bring the families together by inviting them all to be present and to share in your day that way.

If SIL kicks up a fuss - you can make the point about not wanting her to suffer the cost of three bridesmaid's outfits...as if you paying for them had never crossed your mind :)