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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that MIL crossed a line today and to have told her so.

304 replies

BenWillbondsPants · 16/07/2019 18:49

It's DD's birthday today. MIL rang this morning to say that she would bring her present up today. I asked if she would mind leaving it until later in the week as a) DD is actually away on a residential and not here til Friday and b) I'm not well, feeling shit and wanted to go to back to bed.

She said she wanted to bring it today - I said, again, please can we leave it today. MIL says OK but I can tell not massively happy. She does like things her own way.

I go back to bed and fall asleep , I wake up to 7 missed calls from DH and call him straight back. He's walking out of work to come home as he's worried about me. I'm a bit confused and ask him why he's coming home and he tells he that his mum phoned him to say that she was outside our house and worried about me as she can't get a reply from the doorbell even though 'Ben is expecting me'. DH is worried that something has happened and gives her the code to the key safe so she can come in and check on me.

She then texts him a 'False alarm!' with a smiley face.

I go downstairs to find DDs birthday present sitting neatly on the kitchen table.

Who the fuck does that?

OP posts:
Ihatesundays · 16/07/2019 19:31

YANBU!

LakieLady · 16/07/2019 19:32

YANBU. What an entitled old bat she is.

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 16/07/2019 19:32

Mental behaviour - hope you feel better!

Soubriquet · 16/07/2019 19:34

Wow she’s a bitch

I could sort of understand if your dd was home and she really wanted to give it to her today, but she wasn’t

She just wanted it her way!

And to worry your dh like that. What a fucking bitch

I understand why your dh gave his mum the code though. He thought it was a genuine emergency

VenusTiger · 16/07/2019 19:34

Oh my! Does your DH realise she lied to him to get in? Does he realise she panicked her own son to get in with a present?

Sorry, but what a controlling and manipulative bi£(h.

How dare she lie. How dare she lie to make her own way into your home, your sanctuary, your safe place.

I would never speak to her again. I do hope your DH realises all of this and gives her a bloody mouthful!

itsallgoingsouth · 16/07/2019 19:35

Wow! I'd be furious. I expect she thought she was being quite clever getting one over on you like that but she obviously doesn't appreciate the long-term damage she's doing to her relationship with you and DH.

Don't just change the code, move house and don't tell her where you've gone!

NorthEndGal · 16/07/2019 19:37

So nice to read about a sensible DH

Sorry about your 🦇💩 mil

BenWillbondsPants · 16/07/2019 19:38

Bloody well done for telling her OP!

It's taken years of realising that she's a master manipulator to get to this stage. DH has always said she is and I've tried to keep a decent relationship over the years but fuck me, I really can't be arsed any more. I don't need to get DH to deal with her, he doesn't even want to talk to her (he's even madder than I am) but I'm happy to tell her myself. I don't need to hide behind him. I must be getting brave in my old age ...

OP posts:
Spatzenmesse · 16/07/2019 19:38

I would also chuck the present in the bin. Zero tolerance.

waterallday · 16/07/2019 19:39

What a weirdo, thank god I have a normal (not yet) MIL!

ThanosSavedMe · 16/07/2019 19:39

Is she the kind of person to have got an extra copy of the key whilst she had it? You know just in case for emergencies, like this one!

BenWillbondsPants · 16/07/2019 19:40

I think you need to have a conversation with your DH, he needs to be backing you up.
And change the code!

He's absolutely backing me up. Code already been changed.

OP posts:
Yellowweatherwarning · 16/07/2019 19:42

Return the gift by recorded delivery...

PonderingPanda · 16/07/2019 19:43

So you've changed the code then OP?? I just like to clarify these matters....Grin

BenWillbondsPants · 16/07/2019 19:45

@PonderingPanda 😂😂😂

OP posts:
SolsticeBabyMaybe · 16/07/2019 19:45

It could have been worse...

Imagine if you didn't see your missed calls and went downstairs to see the present sitting there on the table!

cue Psycho soundtrack

ohfourfoxache · 16/07/2019 19:45

What a stupid cow she is - she’s really fucked up her relationship with you

Gruzinkerbell1 · 16/07/2019 19:46

She’s batshit

GabsAlot · 16/07/2019 19:47

Is change the code the new cancel the cheque

Good for you op interfering old cow you shouldnt even bother with her anymore-is she always like this

MrsMozartMkII · 16/07/2019 19:49

Absolutely barking bonkers woman!

I too would've ripped her a new one.

64sNewName · 16/07/2019 19:50

Oh my goodness, that’s horrible! You did so well to tell her off.

AMAM8916 · 16/07/2019 19:51

Oh my god, who actually does that?

BenWillbondsPants · 16/07/2019 19:52

I'm also sitting here wondering if she peeked into my bedroom when I was asleep. I know this sounds ludicrous, but she knows I'm feeling really sensitive about my appearance at the moment and seems obsessed with trying to 'catch me out'. I don't want many people to see me without my headscarf (lost my hair due to chemo) and she keeps actually asking to see me without it. Why would she do that, it's just weird.

I don't feel comfortable with that at all and told her no. Now I'm thinking she was trying to catch me and my baldy head out! Fucks sake, I'm probably overthinking this but it's really bothering me.

OP posts:
MsScribbles · 16/07/2019 19:52

YA absolutely NBU and as someone whose MIL once rearranged our bedroom furniture while we were at work (!!!!!!!) then commented that she had ‘found a BLACK BRA down the side of the bed’ you have my complete and total sympathy 💐

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 16/07/2019 19:53

Awful behaviour from her.

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