To think that MIL crossed a line today and to have told her so.

[BenWillbondsPants]

It's DD's birthday today. MIL rang this morning to say that she would bring her present up today. I asked if she would mind leaving it until later in the week as a) DD is actually away on a residential and not here til Friday and b) I'm not well, feeling shit and wanted to go to back to bed.

She said she wanted to bring it today - I said, again, please can we leave it today. MIL says OK but I can tell not massively happy. She does like things her own way.

I go back to bed and fall asleep , I wake up to 7 missed calls from DH and call him straight back. He's walking out of work to come home as he's worried about me. I'm a bit confused and ask him why he's coming home and he tells he that his mum phoned him to say that she was outside our house and worried about me as she can't get a reply from the doorbell even though 'Ben is expecting me'. DH is worried that something has happened and gives her the code to the key safe so she can come in and check on me.

She then texts him a 'False alarm!' with a smiley face.

I go downstairs to find DDs birthday present sitting neatly on the kitchen table.

Who the fuck does that?

Oh FFS. What a huge power play.

Show DH the messages and then tell him he needs to address this with his DM. It was an abuse of his trust to lie to gain entry to the house. He shouldn't have been panicked at work either.

All that for a birthday present?!

I've always tried really hard with her and probably get on better with her than DH does to be honest. She always likes to get her own way and really can't cope when she doesn't - she's likes to use emotional blackmail etc., but it doesn't work on me after almost 20 years and never works on DH.

Curious to know what you said to her OP?

Wow - she's flying all her flags high today! How blatant!

YANBU to call her out on her manipulate lies. Presumably this isn't the first time she has displayed this MO?

DH was actually leaving work to come home - if I hadn't heard the phone that time he would have come home - because she worried him with her 'oh I'm so worried about Ben shite'. He's already changed the keysafe code.

Fucking stupid woman.

Curious to know what you said to her OP?

I asked her why she had scared DH half to death about not being able to get in when I'd already told her not to come. She said that she didn't realise I was going back to bed (I told her I was) and was 'passing anyway'. She didn't really have an excuse but took offence at being told that she crossed a line. Lots of huffing and puffing and 'well if that's how you feel' etc. I said that yes it is how we feel. Seriously can't be arsed with this kind of crap.

YANBU the woman sounds batshit and I'd have told her so in no uncertain terms. I hope you're feeling better soon.

Bloody well done for telling her OP!

Definitely change the code to the key safe or she will be to rifling through your bank statements before you know it.
Very bizarre behaviour, I’d probably tell the rest of the family and any mutual acquaintances and make concerned noises about some ‘possible short term memory loss’

I'm glad that DH has your back. And that he has changed the door code!

I would be reducing contact with MIL to the absolute minimum necessary.

Good on you and DH. What a silly woman.

Totally manipulative behaviour you need to speak to your dp

Well done

Oh my god, she's actually batshit crazy! That's positively deranged.

Block her on your phones and tell her in advance. If she can't use the numbers responsibly she looses access to mobile comms.

Glad you changed the keysafe and extra glad that your DH is on your side. She crossed a line and you were right to tell her so.

Hard to see this as anything other than punishment for not agreeing to let her come over today. What a silly drama. I hope you feel better soon.

What a totally cunty thing to do, to your DH and to you. Why the hell does she need to drop the present off on your DDs birthday if your DD isn't even here. Cray.

Is change the code on the keysafe the new cancel the cheque? OP has already said the code has been changed. Does nobody read even the OP's answers any more?

Ring her back and tell her you hoped she enjoyed her visit as it's the last time the evil cunt will ever cross your threshold.

No, because they're so excited to post their original little thought that they dont realise that dozens of people have had the same thought and the OP has already actioned it.

Does nobody read even the OP's answers any more?

Rarely

Emotional blackmail, lying, trespassing - eek, and I thought my MIL was bad!! So sorry OP, I think you need to have a conversation with your DH, he needs to be backing you up.
And change the code!