To not understand why people are so busy

[user87382294757]

And take on so much stuff they don't need to do?

I often see it on here. Like this - "We both work in busy important jobs and then we have brownies, PTA lots of DC activities and we are so worn out and stressed!"

But the it is a choice no-one 'has' to do these things. Why not just stop doing it, or not take on so much in the first place?

Because of the benefits they bring, I imagine.

So you are suggesting we all stop working, or our children shouldn't take on any activities outside of school? And what's wrong about having a moan?

No one ‘needs’ to do anything of course. Things like the PTA though are volunteers and if everyone said no.....

In my experience it’s often the same people that help out with everything and many people do nothing and say no as you suggest.

I mean, why does anyone choose to do anything? Bit of a vague question you're asking really. I'm sure if you asked someone specifically why they choose to do a specific thing, they would give their reasons..

I'm just surprised at the lack of awareness of prioritising and wondering why people take on too much and then moan? No-one is telling anyone to do all that stuff.

Who says they aren’t prioritising correctly? You?

Odd question you sound like my mum who hasn't worked since 1967 and only has herself to look after and wonders why i'm not straight at the end of the phone whenever she fancies ringing but i'll have a go at explaining:

Because even though you have a full time job you still have to give your kids a social life and some outside activities. Three kids, for example, with one activity each and one play date a week each is six evenings with something going on after school and work. Add on the demands of wider family - shopping for elderly members, visiting in laws and parents at weekends ect and - bang - bloody busy.

People moan about everything, it doesn't necessarily mean their decision was the wrong one.

People are entitled to the odd moan, of course, but I see what OP means as we have a few friends who are like this a lot, as if theirs terrified to sit still, not fill every hour with plans and then wonder why they’re tired. Some stuff is inevitable, most of us have to work, children take up a lot of time and energy, people have family obligations etc. But it’s okay to prioritise rest and quiet time as well and then maybe they’d enjoy the plans they make instead of trying to do everything and getting jaded and worn down.

*they’re

I just get fed up with listening to the moaning when people whose to do stuff on the first place. It was their choice after all. It gets frustrating when people moan and never change.

Also life is unpredictable. Things change and you need to respond. Do you really need this explaining?

Stop what? the jobs? Who is paying the bills?

the commute? where is the money to live more centrally going to come from?

the PTA? Someone has to do it and the kids benefit. I am not in it, but I applaud the work they do.

Kids activities? why? They enjoy it, they have a blast, kids finish at 3pm in this country, I don't want mine to just hang around every afternoon and weekend doing nothing. Sports and the rest are good for them.

Sure, we could sell and move into a shack on the beach and chill, but that's not really realistic is it.

Martyrdom.

You sound like the one moaning to me....

Yet you thought you'd come on here and have a moan about it

Most people do have to go to work and teach their kids life skills. It’s not really a choice.

Maybe you should set yourself up as a life coach OP? You seem to think it's all very simple cut and dried. Priorities and choices ect ...

at least the jobs pay for 2 or 3 holidays a year. I personally prefer a nice holiday to staying home watching tv all year round, but each to their own.

I find people see being 'busy' as a badge of honour nowadays. I see it as bad time management so try never to be busy (with full time job, 2 toddlers etc etc.)

I've just realised OP is moaning about moaning as well @popehilarious

Because generally the "optional" things are the things you do to make life worth living, and the thing (work) you could give up to give yourself masses more time and relieve yourself of lots of stress is the thing you can't give up because that's what's funding the rest.

Actually I find most of the people who loudly moan about how busy they are aren't, in fact, bust at all - they're just trying to keep up a veneer of self importance.

Genuinely busy people are too busy to moan

Because I would die of boredom if I just finished work and went home and didn’t see anyone or do anything. I also think my children benefit hugely from activities outside of school.

It can be a juggle fitting it all of their activities, a social life and hobbies/volunteer activities. And sometimes that makes me tired or fancy a moan. Meh.

Sometimes it all happens at once - for instance next week I have leavers assembly, 3 x AGMs for different clubs either me or my children are in involved in, 2 x baby groups, a dinner with my gym group, 4 hours of volunteering, school fete with the PTA, hosting a dinner party with my old NCT friends. I’ve had a moan about how packed that week is on top of work but I benefit hugely from all of those clubs and activities and so do my children and hopefully the people I volunteer my time for.

People are entitled to a moan here and there.

A friend of mine is visibly running herself into the ground. She has cut it down to doing only things she's getting real benefit from, or that she feels are important, but even so, she's still run ragged. Why? "Because I don't know how long these opportunities are going to be here?" And that's quite a valid point of view.