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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DP on stag do...

144 replies

Heymummee · 14/07/2019 07:57

Interested to hear other people’s views on this.
DP of 12 years went abroad for his best friend’s stag do. He left on Thursday, I haven’t heard from him since he said he was at on the plane waiting to leave.
We have 2 children at home. One of them is missing his dad, has tried to call him, but no answer and no call back. The other one is too little to really understand, but he has been asking for dada and looking for him. He will be back tonight, around 6pm.

I genuinely don’t know if I am in the wrong to expect to hear from him at some stage during his trip or if I am expecting too much and should just let it slide?

I have found out through someone else that he is indeed still alive. Aside from that, nothing.

OP posts:

HelenaDove · 15/07/2019 01:57

Are you going to get to do the same OP?

siring1 · 15/07/2019 06:40

Book a spa weekend.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 15/07/2019 06:58

DH and I often go away without each other. Whilst we don't contact each other every day, if I messaged him he would reply. it's a bit odd to have radio silence,

Original poster

Heymummee · 15/07/2019 08:29

I have a weekend away at the end of August and I do have the opportunity to go out whenever I want to. I choose not to and spend time with the kids instead.
When I go away I FaceTime them to hear about their day and check they’re ok before they go to bed. Takes 5 minutes at the most. If I don’t know how they are I don’t stop thinking about them until I do 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:

happyhillock · 15/07/2019 10:03

Me and a friend went away for a long weekend in the UK last year, Friday to the Tuesday we both had our mobile's with us, we never called home once, if there was a problem at home either one's partner would have called,
Another time 3 of us went away for 3 day's one of the friend's has 18 year old twin daughter's they were constantly on the phone saying she's doing that or she won't do that Dad want's us to do that, it was so annoying me and my other friend said to her SWITCH THAT BLOODY PHONE OFF YOUR NOT GETTING ANY PEACE!!!!

roothyb · 15/07/2019 10:18

Gaaad. You all hate men so much here don't ya.

CollaterlyS1sters · 15/07/2019 10:21

Gaaad. You all hate men so much here don't ya.

Yeah, we totally do! And we all have really hairy legs & we're probably all lesbians too because we're not pretty enough to get a boyfriend.

roothyb · 15/07/2019 10:25

@CollaterlyS1sters

Yeah, we totally do! And we all have really hairy legs & we're probably all lesbians too because we're not pretty enough to get a boyfriend.

Omg. Calm yourself right down. I think I'm probably just too laid back for this place. So much hate to a man who didn't call while on a stag do. Why does it get your knickers in such a twist? Ask yourself why? Like really - why?

Toffeecakes · 15/07/2019 10:27

I’d definitely expect a text, he’s been a bit of an arse. I wouldn’t dwell too much on it but I’d be having the conversation about being a decent human being.

plasterboots · 15/07/2019 10:27

I'd be pissed offer he had missed calls and didn't return them.

CollaterlyS1sters · 15/07/2019 10:36

Omg. You're right! I wish I was so laid back like you. Instead of a shrieking, clingy, needy hysterical woman whose knickers are hopelessly, irretrievably twisted.

I'd better go away and ask myself those questions like you said. Thank you. Thank you. I really appreciate your support. xxx

roothyb · 15/07/2019 10:42

@CollaterlyS1sters

You forgot sarcastic

CollaterlyS1sters · 15/07/2019 10:48

I forgot sarcastic what?

StormTreader · 15/07/2019 11:49

There is some really entry-level troll effort going on here - is this the week Trolls take on the work experience guy?

Original poster

Heymummee · 15/07/2019 12:35

Well this has escalated!

It’s not about hating men. It’s about an otherwise lovely man, shirking his responsibilities and going awol for days on end seemingly forgetting he has children at home who miss him and an exhausted partner holding the fort at home.

All is well in the world. He’s apologised, accepted that his behaviour upset me and realised he should have contacted me.

OP posts:

Freespirit24 · 15/07/2019 12:52

@Heymummee

I am glad your DP has apologised, he is home safe and all is well. Enjoy your family.

Vesperia · 15/07/2019 12:57

I would expect contact but I also understand it can be a rule of stag weekends that phones are out of bounds (especially the grooms)

GrumpyCee · 15/07/2019 12:58

I’m attracted to both men and women. Like I said upthread, if my male DP did this I wouldn’t be happy. If I were dating a woman I’d be equally unhappy. Does that mean I hate men and women? 😱 I wish someone would have told me that earlier.....

@Heymummee I’m pleased he has accepted that he was out of line. All the best.

Angech74 · 15/07/2019 13:25

It would be just plain old common courtesy for him just to check in - even just once - to say Hi to you and the kids and let you know he is, indeed, alive. That is really immature behaviour and I'd be pretty pissed off so, no, YANBU.

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