Boyfriend went out yesterday and haven't heard from him since ...aibu to be annoyed?

[peear]

Yesterday my boyfriend went out at 9am for a "all day drinking session" for his friends birthday.
I got a Snapchat from him at 1pm saying "drunk"
I replied to it,he didn't open it for 5 hours,then he never replied.
Never heard a word since.
He was putting snaps on his story on snapchat but that was it.
He was last on WhatsApp at 9.30 pm
Aibu to be a bit pissed off that he couldn't even message to say "home safe"
Or even a "had a good day"

Dump him. a 36 year old who gets blind drunk every weekend?
And what you said that he only bothers with you when he has nothing else to do - don't you deserve better than this?

Out all day and night and snorting coke. Get some self respect op!

You do know that once you are over the break, if you end it now that is, you will be so much happier?
If you insist on staying with this baby - don't text him again now and see how long he takes to get in touch..when he does, don't respond for ages. See how he likes it once he is also sober.
Have you tried going awol yourself one weekend? Tell him you cant see him one saturday as you're doing stuff with friends. Then cut all contact. See what happens.

He's not going to change. You can do so much better...

I'd be binning this off. Who would want to put up with a 36 year old getting off their face and acting like a teenager updating snapchat

You can do waaaaay much better

I was going to say YABU at first until the rest of the updates, that's not somebody I'd be wanting to settle down with and worrying if they even made it home

God get a grip and stop being out of your mind with worry about this grown adult.

Stop being an enabler for this kind of alcoholic dip shit behaviour.

I'm amazed this needs any thought after all these replies

So it sounds like he is an alcoholic who is a danger to himself. Does he drive? If so, one day he will probably have an accident and/or get banned.
Drinking to excess is expensive. Even more so when you lose your phone or smash it, or are so pissed you are an easy mugging target. He could have multiple hospital admissions for falling over drunk and getting a head injury, and then there is the liver disease. That is not pretty.
And he does drugs. This is illegal and harmful. And expensive. And he could do something daft and get hurt or hurt someone else.
This will get worse.
He only seems to get in touch when he has nothing better to do? So you're just the emergency shag? (Sorry, horrible expression)
PLEASE wise up and value yourself a bit more.
You will have far, far less heartache and trouble on your own than with this loser.
Please get away now, rather than wasting even more time on him. His main relationship is with substances. And most likely always will be. You cannot cure him.

Under normal circumstances, I don't think it's weird at all for him to have not text you back last night/this morning, because you knew he was out drinking with mates then will likely be hungover.

HOWEVER when the context is that you're worried for his safety cos of a history of dangerously drunken behaviour, that's a totally different thing.

The issue isn't that your boyfriend didn't text you during a night out. The issue is that when he has nights out, his behaviour is not safe.

Sounds like he has an unhealthy relationship with drink, and I'm not sure if I personally would want to be involved with someone who had that issue and wasn't addressing it...

There are two aspects to this.

1). The going out for a full day’s drinking. We all have our own opinions on what is normal/acceptable behaviour. For me, that isn’t, and as soon as I found out that a boyfriend thought it was, it would be over. Other people will have a different view - but if you’re going to have people in your life who do this then you are going to have to live with the consequences. They may get hurt, or be an alcoholic, and there will be times when you don’t know where they are. If you can’t live with the consequences, don’t stay in a relationship with them.

2). The needing to be in contact all the time. This is a consequence of modern technology, it didn’t used to be possible to be in constant contact with someone at all hours of the day and night. Personally, I don’t think it’s healthy to do that. Grown adults should be able to spend a full day without checking in on each other every five minutes. The more it happens, the more you come to depend on it, and then you worry that something’s wrong when the person doesn’t respond. They’ve had an accident, or they’re with someone else, or they’re mad with you.

Think about it. When does keeping in contact become keeping tabs, become coercive control? When does the reassurance that someone cares about you become an unhealthy dependence on emotional “strokes” from others?

You know he gets so drunk that he is a danger to himself.

It’s time to move on

Dump his arse OP. He is not hours of your life material.

Chuck him, I didn’t and am now regretting that.
Find a man who is not a perpetual teenager.

If he’s still doing this at 36, he won’t be stopping any time soon. And if you think this is bad now, wait until (if) you move in with him and you are dealing with being awake wondering when he’s going to come in, him crashing about waking you up when he does stagger in, getting into bed stinking of booze, being out cold the next day, unable to commit to the daytime plans you had made together for the weekend because he’s so hungover.... every weekend. Quit while you’re ahead, trust someone who’s been there.

He sounds horrible.

OP does he drive or have access to Nissan Juke?
I pulled a 36 year old drunk/drugged up man out of one outside my house at 3am last night when he crashed in to the neighbours car.
If it sounds like it could be him, he was fine. Just concussed and regretful. Police took him off around 4am.
Hope it isn't him. He was a fucking idiot who narrowly missed a pedestrian.

@peear
Christ I hope it wasn't!

Fucking idiots who put others at risk

Don't know why the username changed to OP's

This was meant for @ThisMustBeMyDream

YABU, you've only been together 6 months, you don't live together & you are not his mother. Why would he keep checking in with you p, when he's already told you where he is & what he's up to. If you are that insecure & controlling, perhaps you aren't ready for a mature relationship & need to work on that first before inflicting it on someone else🤷‍♀️

You sound controlling tbh.

I never ever text my partner if he goes out of an eve. But if I did and got no reply when he had seen it and was messaging/snap chatting I would be a bit irritated. I don’t think that makes me controlling. DP describes me as the most chilled gf ever.

However, his overall behaviour does not sound like the sort of thing you want to be settling for. You can’t be with someone hoping that they will change in the future. So if you stay with him expect plenty more of the same.

He sounds like a 36 year old who didn't mentally age past 20. I couldn't be arsed with this. But equally, you sound a bit full on. It's only been 6 months, you must know this is who he is, so why get into a relationship then expect him to change?

I just can't stand having no contact with him

Is this needy and given his drinking you should consider if you are co dependant.
What is your family history?

Carrying on like that at his age is pathetic really. All day long drinking and Snapchatting and taking cocaine.

I seriously thought when I read your first post that the two of you were 18-20