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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend went out yesterday and haven't heard from him since ...aibu to be annoyed?

152 replies

peear · 14/07/2019 07:31

Yesterday my boyfriend went out at 9am for a "all day drinking session" for his friends birthday.
I got a Snapchat from him at 1pm saying "drunk"
I replied to it,he didn't open it for 5 hours,then he never replied.
Never heard a word since.
He was putting snaps on his story on snapchat but that was it.
He was last on WhatsApp at 9.30 pm
Aibu to be a bit pissed off that he couldn't even message to say "home safe"
Or even a "had a good day"

OP posts:
Champagneformyrealfriends · 14/07/2019 07:33

Do you live together? How long have you been a couple? Any children?

Original poster
peear · 14/07/2019 07:34

No we don't live together and no children
Just a boyfriend
Only 6 months

OP posts:
GertrudeCB · 14/07/2019 07:35

He sounds very immature.

Fridaycantsleepdoh1 · 14/07/2019 07:35

I’d imagine on an all day drinking sesh that after 12 hours of drinking he wouldn’t be in any fit state to text you night. Personally don’t sweat the small stuff, yes he didn’t say night but it’s not the end of the world.
I wouldn’t get annoyed as it’s too insignificant in the grand scheme of things.... he will be hanging today so milk it!

BarryBarryTaylor · 14/07/2019 07:36

You are being a bit unreasonable to expect regular contact when you have only been together However I agree it would have courteous to text you back.
He probably passed out on his mates sofa

ZoeWashburne · 14/07/2019 07:38

It sounds very immature. But that being said, why would he check in with you? You’ve only been dating 6 months and don’t live together. You had no reason to worry that he didn’t ‘come home’.

PookieDo · 14/07/2019 07:39

He has passed out and is wasted that is probably why
Sexy

Original poster
peear · 14/07/2019 07:40

I worry about him,I can't help it.
Obviously I love him or I wouldn't be with him,if he was really really drunk (like I know he gets ) he is a total danger to himself (falling over,ending up god knows where )
We have regular contact through the day and this is the first time he has gone awol

OP posts:
Proteinshakesandovieshat · 14/07/2019 07:40

He was out with the intention of getting pissed. That in itself didnt bother you.

He was pissed and his main focus was being with his friends.

He did message you. He didnt reply to you though because he was out.

He was drunk and now asleep. Leave him be. You havent been together long. Going out with your friends and focusing on that, isnt a bad thing.

MaudebeGonne · 14/07/2019 07:41

Maybe he lost his phone, or ran out of credit or battery. I'd imagine though, if he was on the lash all day, that he was too pissed to type anything or that he wasn't thinking particularly clearly.
It wouldn't be something I would take personally.

However, if you don't want to be with someone who goes on all day drinking sessions for birthdays (and that is fine if you don't), then maybe you need to consider if this is the right relationship for you at this time in your life.

Original poster
peear · 14/07/2019 07:47

He probably ran out of battery.
I just can't stand having no contact with him.

OP posts:
TanyaChix · 14/07/2019 07:58

If he’s in a fit state to be on WhatsApp and Snapchat he’s in a fit state to drop you a quick text. It does tell you that he couldn’t be bothered / was too thoughtless to. Whether you’re ok with that is different. Personally, I think after 6 months it’s not unreasonable to wonder if your partner is alright after an all day bender.

PookieDo · 14/07/2019 08:03

I think it’s slightly worrying you are so agitated about having no contact with him

He’s your very new boyfriend really, you don’t live with him and he clearly likes this kind of lifestyle. What do you actually want from him?

Original poster
peear · 14/07/2019 08:05

Exactly my thoughts.
He is posting pics to his Snapchat but couldn't open mine or reply.
He is the same every time he is out.
Only time he really bothers with me is if his home alone or nothing else to do it feels like.

OP posts:
Original poster
peear · 14/07/2019 08:06

I don't think it's worrying to expect a little check in from someone your seeing.
I don't expect a full blown convo when he is having fun but just something to let me know I haven't been totally forgot about

OP posts:
PookieDo · 14/07/2019 08:08

You are not his mother I’m afraid. You are talking about him like he is your teenage son FYI

him,if he was really really drunk (like I know he gets ) he is a total danger to himself (falling over,ending up god knows where)

He’s a grown man and if he leads an irresponsible slightly dangerous immature lifestyle then perhaps you need to reconsider whether this is what you want to be doing in 5 years sitting at home waiting for someone to call you from A&E

I went out with my friends for 12 hours last weekend in London. I made it home in one piece as did everyone else, with some phone battery in tact by 10pm. No one was sick or fell over. Going out with friends all day doesn’t equal getting so wrecked you go off grid every time

Original poster
peear · 14/07/2019 08:11

@PookieDo the thing is with him that's what happens.
He falls over,hurts himself.
Looses his phone /looses his friends
Ends up lost or god knows where

OP posts:
PookieDo · 14/07/2019 08:11

Which is ridiculous. No?

twattymctwatterson · 14/07/2019 08:12

You are being very controlling. That you can't stand having no contact with someone you've been with for 6 months is unhealthy.

If you can't trust him not to harm himself when he's drunk then he's not boyfriend material

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 14/07/2019 08:14

Welcome to your future life.

wineandroses1 · 14/07/2019 08:14

How old are you both? Started drinking at 9am and he “gets really, really drunk” and is “a danger to himself”? Blimey, what a catch.

Signhereplease · 14/07/2019 08:14

What is Snapchat?

Original poster
peear · 14/07/2019 08:21

@PookieDo of course ,me and him are like chalk and cheese
Like you I can go out with my friends and just have a good time without the added vomit and injury

OP posts:
Original poster
peear · 14/07/2019 08:22

@twattymctwatterson I'm really not controlling or at least I don't mean to be.
You just read that many stories of people getting drunk and wandering into rivers etc
It scares me and I'm a huge worrier

OP posts:
Original poster
peear · 14/07/2019 08:23

@Signhereplease it's basically just a app where you post pictures and send pictures to your friends

OP posts:
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