Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you get less respect if you are fat

259 replies

Jojobears · 13/07/2019 16:55

I’m currently fat (16/18), but have been slim previously.

I don’t know if it’s just my self esteem levels, but I really feel that I have less respect from people when I’m fat. Although I could be imagining it.

So, can I ask, do you treat people with less respect if they are fat.

Ps I’m not a daily fail journo. Heaven forbid they employ anyone with a house worth less than 500k

OP posts:
WhenOneFacePalmDoesntCutIt · 14/07/2019 23:29

Firstly, 16/18 = fat?!

well, yes Confused

Even if you are extremely tall, it's hardly a slim size - and nowadays many shops offer the same size in petite, medium and tall.

Yachiru · 14/07/2019 23:31

Lol so a size 16 powerlifter would be deemed as fat? Mma of that size are fat? How absurd.
To judge by clothing sizes (of which are different brand to brand) is as ridiculous as the bmi scale.

WhenOneFacePalmDoesntCutIt · 14/07/2019 23:33

In the fashion industry, "plus size" is a term for models who are size 8 and up. But in the real world, most people would never think of a size 8 as plus size — most plus-size clothing doesn't even start until a size 16.

Kate is a dream for the fashion industry, but designer clothes are not sized the way high street items are - and there's no consistency in the high street anyway! Not even in shoe size.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 14/07/2019 23:33

I'm not slim by any means, but equally a 16/18 isn't fat in the sense that the word is often used...often to intersperse with obese.

I'm not sure why you would feel the need to argue it tbh? Does it matter to you how others view themselves or the words that they use to define themselves?

WhenOneFacePalmDoesntCutIt · 14/07/2019 23:38

see, that's the problem, why the need to jump from "slim" to "obese"? No one had said anything of the sort. You can say that size 16 and 18 are big if you prefer the term. It's quite frightening that people start pretending that they are not medium, when vanity sizing has already changed very generously in recent years.

I have a few very tall friends, they need to wear "tall" clothes, not bigger sizes as such. or they end up with a waist far too big and trousers far too short.

BlueSkiesLies · 14/07/2019 23:38

I'm not slim by any means, but equally a 16/18 isn't fat in the sense that the word is often used...often to intersperse with obese

Is our view of a normal healthy weight so warped that we thing 16/18 isn’t fat? It is fat.

stupidboyman · 14/07/2019 23:40

People are nicer and friendlier when I am thin. I get invited to more stuff - it's like I fit in better.

BoronationStreet · 14/07/2019 23:42

It depends. I've been chubby and I got lots more attention than I do now that I've slimmed down.

But to be honest, extremely fat people don't get much respect.

To be clear, size 16-18 IS NOT FAT. It's curvy or fluffy or sexy depending on your shape.

MsJuniper · 14/07/2019 23:43

I've been a 20 and a 10 and this is 100% true in my experience.

WhenOneFacePalmDoesntCutIt · 14/07/2019 23:47

Marilyn, Ursula Andress were curvy. A size 16/18 is big. Not curvy.

To think you get less respect if you are fat
HelenaDove · 14/07/2019 23:55

Mumsnet folks All my body my choice

except when it comes to weight or mooncups

HelenaDove · 14/07/2019 23:56

Im leaving this thread now so the ones with ishoos can carry on having orgasms over tearing other women down

Toodle!

MamaOomMowWow · 15/07/2019 00:06

I'm not slim by any means, but equally a 16/18 isn't fat in the sense that the word is often used...often to intersperse with obese

@BarrenFieldofFucks if a woman of average height is size 16/18 they probably will be obese. Not morbidly obese but still obese. As above I'm 5'3" which is apparently the average UK woman's height and wear size 14 and am currently obese (BMI 32.5)

I really don't think people understand what weights are normal anymore because we live in a society where so many are overweight, myself included. At the average height of 5'3" ~12 stone/76.5kg is the borderline for obesity. People seem to talk like it's 20 stone.

omafiet · 15/07/2019 00:08

Yes. But speaking as a fat person myself I often catch myself thinking negatively about fat people. It’s internalised prejudice. And why I don’t eat much in public. Terrible.

Me too. I give myself a mental kick up the arse whenever my thoughts go in that direction, but it seems ingrained in me.

MamaOomMowWow · 15/07/2019 00:17

To be clear, size 16-18 IS NOT FAT. It's curvy or fluffy or sexy depending on your shape.

I am fat. I am obese. It doesn't make me any less of a human being or mean I am worth less than anyone else, but it is what I am. It hurts my knees and it doesn't feel great. I don't want cutesy euphemisms to be applied to me ("fluffy" Confused). You can use them about yourself if you like.

Gwenhwyfar · 15/07/2019 00:35

I think it depends.I can think of some very important people who are fat and whom nobody would mess with. The phrase 'throw their weight around' works for them i.e. their weight gives them more power.

For someone less powerful, I think it probably does the opposite and diminishes them in society's eyes.

Gwenhwyfar · 15/07/2019 00:37

"There are a couple of very overweight ladies in middle management positions in my company and unfortunately although they are very smart and good at their jobs I find men in particular treat them with less respect/disregard their opinion especially behind their backs."

Yet, they made it to middle management. Were they thin when they were first promoted?

HolyFuckballsBatman · 15/07/2019 00:39

Size 16-18 is overweight. It most certainly isn't 'fluffy' Envy

So many threads about weight at the moment and every one of them presents skewed perceptions on a healthy weight.

A 16-18 a few decades ago was a hell of a lot smaller than a 16-18 now, especially with vanity sizing.

Cancer Research have just released a study to say that being obese is one of the causes of cancer. This country has had to apply a sugar tax in an attempt to help the citizens become healthier - since some cannot be trusted to limit themselves.
When are we going to face the reality?

Gwenhwyfar · 15/07/2019 00:56

"Does it matter to you how others view themselves or the words that they use to define themselves?"

Yes, it matters if people think size 16/18 isn't (usually) fat. It means the idea of fat has been redefined to only mean extremely fat or something and it means large sections of society are in denial. It's pretty important to keep sight of what is a healthy weight.

Gwenhwyfar · 15/07/2019 00:59

"Cancer Research have just released a study to say that being obese is one of the causes of cancer."

Some people on MN have been criticising Cancer Research for doing that.

HolyFuckballsBatman · 15/07/2019 01:04

@Gwenhwyfar I'm not surprised. Fat shaming?

Gwenhwyfar · 15/07/2019 01:07

So they should lie?

Gwenhwyfar · 15/07/2019 01:08

I think I misunderstood you there Holy. I suppose you yourself don't agree with those criticising Cancer Research.
Yes, I suppose fat shaming is the reason people would have given.

HolyFuckballsBatman · 15/07/2019 01:09

Apparently so @Gwenhwyfar

They've invested a lot of time, money and energy into investigating the causes of cancer.
The establish being overweight as one of them and, because it upsets people, it's meant to be disregarded or reworded so as to not upset anyone.
Just goes to show how disillusioned we've become with regards to weight.

HolyFuckballsBatman · 15/07/2019 01:10

@Gwenhwyfar Definitely don't agree with any criticism of the studies.

I think it's frightening that anyone could disagree!

Swipe left for the next trending thread