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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Telling my FIL to fuck off...

150 replies

FurCoatNoSnickers · 12/07/2019 22:55

Long story short

FIL (and MIL) have a history of being controlling, rude (not just to me) He has a string of failed businesses and was declared bankrupt a few years ago.

When I opened my post today I’m intrigued by one from a bank with addresses to
“N Snickers”

On opening I can see that an account has been made with money deposited into it.

After a bit of detective work- turns out FIL has used my address to get a bank account.

I phoned him earlier for a mouthful of abuse - firstly him chastising me for opening his mail (we have the same first initial) so I was opening way a thought was addresses to me

He told me to mind my own business and that I was making a mountain out of a molehill

I told him he was committing fraud at which point he hung up on me.

How can I get the details changed? If I report him will be get into trouble

Also how the hell can he have used my address without a utility bill?

OP posts:
Whisky2014 · 12/07/2019 22:59

Just report him...

hormonesorDHbeingadick · 12/07/2019 22:59

Report it. You need to protect your own finances and don’t want to be seen as complicit in fraud.

Henrysmycat · 12/07/2019 23:00

I’d contact banks etc. I don’t give a proverbial if he gets into trouble but I would care very much if it screws up my credit score and jeopardise my mortgage and financial security.

SummerSix · 12/07/2019 23:01

Report him for fraud.

Hes using your address, giving you shit for opeining mail that goes to YOUR house, not his and doing this its likely he's doing something dodgy.

justasking111 · 12/07/2019 23:02

God report it. A so called friend whose husband left her did something like this to me. Electric, gas, rates, car payments. She then did a flit to USA leaving me to speak to them all. They were all lovely and said it happens all the time and not to worry they would not chase me.

A tenant also did it. There were three families living in the house I discovered when she did a flit, so many fake accounts it was eye opening.

Alsohuman · 12/07/2019 23:03

Just tell the bank. It’s not your problem if he gets into trouble. Incidentally what does his son think?

Sexnotgender · 12/07/2019 23:09

Addresses aren’t blacklisted as such these days but it could cause applications to be flagged to be investigated if he is found to have committed fraud by using your address.
Shouldn’t affect your credit history though.

TitsInAbsentia · 12/07/2019 23:19

Contact the bank and tell them there has clearly been an error. Don't let the CF start pulling you in to his failing empire!

Original poster
FurCoatNoSnickers · 12/07/2019 23:27

Yes will ring bank and tell them there’s an error.

Dh is saying it’s harmless and just stuff the whole family have always done Hmm

I told him “not any more”

OP posts:
Tooner · 12/07/2019 23:27

Wow, disgraceful deceitful behaviour from your FIL. Report him immediately.

Tooner · 12/07/2019 23:28

And your husband is just as bad supporting the behaviour

HollowTalk · 12/07/2019 23:34

You need to have a long, hard look at your husband, too. I wouldn't be sharing any finances with someone who thought that was normal.

Original poster
FurCoatNoSnickers · 12/07/2019 23:35

Agreed Tooner

Although it is true the family’s finances and stuff has always been so mixed,messy and convoluted -

I don’t want any involvement in it

OP posts:
GetOffTheTableMabel · 12/07/2019 23:36

What possible straightforward, honesty reason could he have friends doing this? He’s got an address of his own. If he doesn’t want the bank to associate that account with him/his address, it’s because he’s being shifty.
It’s not harmless. It’s really weird.
Also, rude.

StoppinBy · 12/07/2019 23:36

That is totally not ok. No one opens an account in someone else's name unless they have ulterior and unsavoury intentions. It is also illegal. I think you need to report it too.

Ginger1982 · 12/07/2019 23:36

Your DH is being a dick.

Sarahjconnor · 12/07/2019 23:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cornishclio · 12/07/2019 23:39

Definitely report it. Check your NODDLE report to make sure he has not taken debts out in your name. It is fraud and in no way should your DH agree with it.

Original poster
FurCoatNoSnickers · 12/07/2019 23:43

He hasn’t taken them out in MY name

Imagine a Nichola Snickers who receives a bank statement addresses to N Snickers then opens it and the name inside is Nigel Snickers.

I’m still as annoyed as I’d if were

OP posts:
Femodene · 12/07/2019 23:45

Tell your husband to look up why it’s not ‘fine’? Why has he not educated himself on fraud? Obviously end the fraud, not even a question, is there any benefit to the scammer being in your life? (To you, I mean, clearly the scammer is benefitting from knowing your personal information)

TroubleWithNargles · 12/07/2019 23:46

Just return it to the bank and write "Opened in error, not known at this address" on it.

Let them deal with it.

Original poster
FurCoatNoSnickers · 12/07/2019 23:51

Femodene what do you mean? Benefitting from knowing my personal information? He knows my address and that’s it!?

OP posts:
cstaff · 12/07/2019 23:51

But if you have a utility bill in the name N Snickers he could have taken it from your house and used it to prove his / your address with his own passport or licence. Is that a possibility.

cstaff · 12/07/2019 23:54

That could definitely damage your credit further down the line if what you say is true.

UnderOverUnderRover · 12/07/2019 23:59

I'd call the bank and report it. I can't believe he's acted so badly and he hung up on you Hmm