How do you pay for a meal in groups?

[NCTDN]

OK I'm sure this has been asked before.
I've got a group of friends - there's 5 of us who go out regularly. I'm closer to two of them than the rest. They all like their drinks and I don't drink much alcoholic.
When we go out the bill usually gets split five ways from the total food and drink combined. Over time I think I've been to begrudge it more and more. I think I've left it so long though that it's assumed it doesn't bother me - don't know if anyone else even thinks it!
How can I deal with this? Aibu?

We pay for what we ate and drank, unless it’s obvious we all paid about the same.

I’d say to your friends that you’re not sure it’s fair to split drinks when you’re not really drinking. A good friend wouldn’t mind.

Just say so. And tell the waiter that you'd like a separate bill. No big deal.

before the meal tell them and the waiter "im not in much of a drinking mood so I'll order my drinks separately"- then when the bill comes just ask/check what your food and share of the tip comes to.

I dont like splitting hairs over who had an extra bowl of chips but when alcohol is involved its not fair subsidising heavy drinkers.

Don't go.
Or meet them after the meal.
I often don't drink but would be mortified to start saying I'm paying for what I had.
A bill gets split equally.

We generally split the bill but if people aren't drinking (past few years have seen a few babies born) then the rest of us normally say to them to put in less. Often the non-drinker still puts in equal if we've just had a quick lunch with 1 drink as soft drinks are just as expensive but they're told not to.

Suggest splitting the food bill and then paying for your own drinks. YANBU btw - this stuff also pisses me off the older I get. I ended up paying for alcohol and a dessert that I didn't even have last night thanks to 'lets split the bill'

This is why I have the full shebang or around the same as everyone else. I drink alcohol though.

Depends on the group. If we’ve all had roughly the same we put in the same amount or if there’s not much in it. If there’s a non drinker either someone will notice and suggest they put in x amount less or if they’re not that fussed they’ll just put money in to make life easier. I know when I haven’t drank and people have only had maybe 1 beer each I’ll just chuck in an even amount as I’m too lazy to work it out.

If some people are drinking and others aren't then drinks are separate.

Equally if you are going to split the bill, then don't be an arse and order the lobster/T bone steak.

There should be some fairness going on.

Order 5 big desserts to yourself and when they look at you just shrug with the spoon in your mouth and say” oh I’m not having alcohol”

My preference is just to split it with good friends but I have asked for drinks to be paid for separately when there's an obvious disparity. Although that may make them aware if you're ordering 3 courses/expensive dishes etc so it can be a slippery slope.

A bill gets split equally.

Why? It doesn’t have to. My friends and I are clever enough to work out what we need to pay.

This is more complicated because you say you aren't drinking much whereas if you weren't drinking at all you could just have water and get a separate food and drinks bill. How much of a discrepancy are we talking in the drinks?

We pay for what we each had, I'm not paying for stuff I never had and I wouldn't expect people to pay for my food etc either

We just split it between us usually. Or, with the people we dine with regularly, we get it one evening, they'll get it the next time.

We get the bill and add up what we each ate/drank and pay it that way.

We don’t calculate to the last penny, but if someone’s had lobster and vintage champagne while the others had burgers and beer, we’d divide accordingly! Good friends don’t want to rip each other off, surely?

I don't understand why some consider it shameful or taboo to want to only pay for what you have eaten. Makes perfect sense to me! If they ask why you want a separate bill, tell them. They're very rude if they expect you to subsidise their food and drink choices.

I don't think there's a hard and fast rule - I would sometimes split the bill equally and sometimes pay for what I've had, depending on the circumstances. It's also common to do something in between - split it evenly but with two different amounts for drinkers and non drinkers.

In this case, as you're always drinking less than the others, it's definitely not fair to split the bill equally and I should think your friends would recognise that. I'd try saying next time "is it OK if I put in a bit less as I wasn't drinking?".

We get the bill and total up what we owe and pay each amount. This came about because one mum kicked off about paying a bit more which really did not bother me but did her, we were not talking about a lot of money but she was miffed to pay more. So in future just check over the bill and split accordingly or go to bar and all buy your own drinks.

This happens to me all the time, extended family meals, I'm always designated driver so dont drink then I have to split the bill equally, I end up usually paying more than double for what iv had to pay for the alcohol that's been drunk, irritates the hell out of me, if you figure a way out without looking like a tight arse, let me know lol

I regularly meet up with my old school friends for meals/ drinks. Food is split evenly, and drinks calculated separately and cost of alcohol split only between those who've had it. I rarely have alcohol when we're out as we usually meet up in our home town (where most of my friends still live), and I drive to meet them. I'd be well pissed off if I was subsidising their drinking, especially as they do like their drinkies! I wouldn't bother if it was just one glass of wine each, but that's not how they roll! 😉Luckily my friends aren't cf'ers though! 😂 You'll have to say something OP

We usually divide equally then knock a bit off for non drinkers and add a bit on for drinkers. Often non drinkers get coffees and puddings and soft drinks are expensive too. We usually try to make it fair though.

Just say something like “I’ve only budgeted for £x tonight, which is what I’ve eaten/drunk.”
A friend of mine did this recently and it made me think - actually she doesn’t drink either and probably being asked to pay more. No one minded at all.