To think DH should remember...

[leopardandspots]

That DD's seven years at primary school finishes next Tuesday.

And that he should not have arranged to go out after work with his mate?

YABU....massive over reaction!

My son finished primary at the end of June (Scotland) school had organised a meal one evening before they finished, pupils, parents and teachers went, no siblings. In the actual day they finished the class all organised to go out and have a meal and celebrate together without parents. Not how I imagined it would be but we hardly saw him that day 🙈

If it was his first or last day in a new job I think he'd be miffed if we forgot and went out

Really? In that case, you sound perfectly well suited . No one I know marks any of these occasions with such solemnity.

It's not just the end of any old term. It's the last day of primary school.

The plan is collect the kids from school and the teacher gets given a present etc. They all sign shirts if they haven't done already.. Then there's a picnic with the whole year group in a local park and later a disco party that parents can stay at or not.

This is how it pans out, get your t shirt signed, come out crying, all the mums then start crying because the kids are. Get home and within 30 seconds act like you normally do at the start of the summer holidays. This includes when asked how your last day of school was grunt alright or ok as a response and not expand any further.

Well did you tell him all this was going on and he needed to go?

^^ what sweeny said.

Op not only are you being unreasonable, you're being ridiculous.

A picnic for 11/12 yr olds? How lovely 🙄 You do know parents attending their school disco is definitely what the kids do NOT want. It sounds as if you’re taking about 5 yr olds. Twee, twee and suffocating.

Don't worry, she will have her mum there and she may as well get used to men having more important things to do than spend time with family. If she takes up with a cyclist in later life she will be prepared

Quite a few people seem to think that those (four) first and last days of school are no big deal. I thought it was a bigger deal than a birthday? You have 80+ birthdays but only 4 days or starting and finishing school, unless you move I guess.

I'm now thinking that I'll go straight out with a mate after work too. A babysitter can say goodbye to the crying parents and then pick her up from the picnic and take her to and from the party.

(Or not. )

When my DD finished primary school the whole class took themselves off to the cinema on the bus, no parents involved. When DS finished, well I don't know what he did because I was on a fabulous cruise. No regrets.

Competitive dontgiveafuckery.

It will only be a big deal to your child if you make it one.

Percypig errrrrr how did you know? DH is a Chris Froome and Bradley Wiggins hybrid.

MN is weird. Are posters on this thread trying to be the well 'ard cool girls?

Yeah just like you know totally cool with husbands and fathers like absenting themselves and you know sort of being selfish dicks yeah and like letting their wives and partners do all the emotional labour right and actually like you know abdicating responsibility and literally yeah leaving it to the womenz to like actually be there for their kids right as some small gesture to show they actually like fucking give a shit.

And then there are the threads where posters fly at the throats of 'transgressive' men screeching like banshees for the exact same crime, only committed in a slightly different context. Weird.

Are posters on this thread trying to be the well 'ard cool girls?

I get your point, and in many respects agree - I have made the same points in past posts.

But we don't have that information here. We don't know anything about the OP and the DP apart from this incident.

If my DH had a go at me about going out for a drink with my friend on the last day of school, I wouldn't be impressed. In a shared, fair, balanced family life, either party should be free to do this.

It could be that the DP here is a neglectful shit, or this might be isolated? Not enough to judge, IMO.

Seriously? Both our DC had big days out for the last day of primary. There were balloons and parties and cakes and gatherings at the local pub for the SAH parents. It never once crossed my mind that DH should take a day off to attend and there were no other working patents there either.

Dont worry OP, it's just another man getting an easy ride on here, of course it's more important that he gets an afternoon out with his mate than that family spend a bit of time together to mark the passage from primary to secondary.

Give me strength.

OP - if your husband was missing a specific event (e.g. a leavers’ assembly) I’d say you were right to be annoyed. But if you just want him to generally ‘be around’, I think you’re being OTT.

Your daughter will remake the shirt signing and the disco. She won’t be particularly bothered who picks her up.

I'm sorry but you're being ridiculous. And no, it isn't the fact that he's a man that makes it ok. If you were going out for a few drinks after work I would say that is also fine.

If it was her graduation ceremony I'd understand but she's just finishing primary school. If it's the particular arrangements around the picnic and the disco then that's fair enough, but if you didn't let him know this was happening in advance then I don't see how you can be annoyed.

You can't make him want to participate, just think he will be the one to miss out not you. I would put a picture on the fridge so he can be reminded of a great family time that he missed.

Oh and PS - I highly doubt that she wants you at that disco. I would have been horribly embarrassed as I think most 11yr Olds would.

Do people stop enjoying picnics with friends after the age of 5?

Can't really see the issue. Can't your DD just have a nice time at the picnic with her friends? Assembling the entire family to watch some 11 year olds eat butties all feels a little cloying and claustrophobic.

Secondary school will be a very different experience for all of you.

If it's the particular arrangements around the picnic and the disco then that's fair enough, but if you didn't let him know this was happening in advance then I don't see how you can be annoyed.

It is the wife's job to tell her husband in advance is it? Her original post was "should he remember" and you've clearly answered "no. that is your job to remember and remind him" Same old same old.

There's a good chance this means more to you than it does either your daughter or your husband.

Enjoy the emotions of the day but don't make your husband feel bad for not feeling as emotional about it as you do. Particularly if your daughter is going out to a picnic anyway

My son finished primary school last year, he was excited about his signed shirt and leavers hoodie but just went out to play like any normal day. No need for my husband to be there.