To think DH should remember...

[leopardandspots]

That DD's seven years at primary school finishes next Tuesday.

And that he should not have arranged to go out after work with his mate?

[RosaWaiting]

“I thought it was a bigger deal than a birthday?”

I would have chucked all the toys out of my pram if my parents thought this

Seriously, obviously things were different back then, but I can’t really imagine parents having anything to do with the last day of secondary school or sixth form college. But 18 year olds were adults and now it’s all extended adolescence for a lot of people, particularly on MN I think.

[RosaWaiting]

“There's a good chance this means more to you than it does either your daughter or your husband.”

This.

[IfItIsntYerManRobert]

Last day of primary school is a big deal (at the time, I can't actually remember it myself.

But - it's probably not a two-man (parent) job.

OP - you're in danger of making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be, and creating drama (for your DD) where there doesn't need to be any.

I don't think your DH has done a terrible thing here.

But given it's a Tuesday, and if you are going to insist he come to last day + picnic and disco (are you really sure about this??), can he perhaps move his drinks to the Weds, Thurs or Fri...?

[RosesAndRaindrops]

Aw. This thread makes me sad. Married and we have two kids, one mid teens and one nearly 2nd year into high school.
IE only left primary school last year.
We both wanted to be there for last days of school!
Me being a SAHM and DH managed to take the day off work (works shifts so juggled them)

[leopardandspots]

It's more the fact he didn't even remember a big event in her life that she's been talking about quite a lot. And also that when I explained he clearly wasn't a tiny bit bothered about any of it.

But I guess it is same old. It means more to me than him. It means more to most mothers than most fathers.

So because it means more to some women,we get more of both the benefit and the burden of juggling it all with work.

We have done secondary school before with much older now adult DCs who are at Uni etc, so both know how little parent involvement there is at secondary.

[Isthebigwomanhere]

You do realise that you won't be needed or wanted by your child to attend the last day of High school, college or uni or to take a day off for their first job?!

You are being bonkers !

[RosesAndRaindrops]

And so am sick to the back teeth off seeing pre school, primary school, middle school “proms” or “graduations”High school prom is bad enough.The pressure on low income families must be immense. Have I actually moved to America without consenting to it?

I'd be right with you, hate the idea of proms etc. How is seeing your child out of school on the last day comparable though

[leopardandspots]

Yes of course I know the difference with secondary school. I've already said we've got several adult ones at Uni?

On the last day of older DDs secondary school I was required to leave work early actually to drive to the school to pick up a car full of big art and DT projects that the teachers emailed me about! . And for another one I was required to drive a group of them to a party.

But with this one I'm talking about the end of primary school.

Clearly it means more to some parents than others but tbh I hope my DDs have children with men who are engaged with their kids school milestones and want to participate equally in them even if they can't.

[NeckPainChairSearch]

I hope my DDs have children with men who are engaged with their kids school milestones and want to participate equally in them even if they can't

Well yes, but it's not just your DP though, OP. A good half of this thread don't actually see it as 'a milestone.'

Is it just this date, or has he got form for opting out of this kind of stuff? Are you both working? What's the division of domestics usually like?

[BendyLikeBeckham]

OP is this your youngest?

I wonder if you are projecting your sadness that this will be YOUR last experience of your child's last day leaving primary school? It is more bittersweet sometimes watching the last one reach milestones.

[steff13]

Will he be off work in time to pick her up and go to the picnic? And I agree with PP, she won't want you at the dance.

[Saltystraw]

I remember my last day.. but only the school part of it which was the important part.. I don’t think we did anything in the evening as a family... for any of my schooling.

I don’t think it’s such a big deal but each family to their own.

[Kokeshi123]

Why aren't 11-12yos supposed to have picnics? (confused)

I am 40 and I like having picnics.

[Tingface]

What a load of old cobblers.

OP yabu and ridiculous.

[rededucator]

OP why would all the mothers be standing around crying? As a teacher I'd find this very odd. I think you're projecting onto your poor child and, quite frankly, your husband. Last day of PS should be an achievement, 'isn't this exciting', look how far you've come etc, not standing around wailing and crying.

[rededucator]

OP, I've just read you have older children at uni and secondary. I think this event is more of a milestone for you than anyone else.

[StoppinBy]

I can see where you are coming from. My husband did take the morning off to drop our DD off for her first day of school and if the school did something special for the grade 6 graduation day then he would try to get the time off for sure.

The fact that he booked the whole night away sucks for your DD if you normally celebrate these things as a family.

[Chovihano]

Op well done for putting your child first, rare in this age.
We celebrate these type of events as a family as they are important to us too.
You'll be called precious by those who think their children don't matter, or can't be bothered, or other things more important.

Just tell dh to cancel and organise something nice for the family.

[Fairenuff]

It means more to most mothers than most fathers

Yeah, no I don't think it does. I think it's just a few parents who are over invested like yourself OP.

[AngelsOnHigh]

My DD and her DH have 5 DC.

DH works in a managerial position in a 24 hour industry. This year he has opted to work night shift because he is tired of missing out on Dcs milestones i.e. first day of school, presentation days etc.

[SheChoseDown]

One of you will suffice.

Don't drag the poor fella to such a boring non event. Take turns in doing the boring non events. It makes it easier.
#LetsAllGoToThePub

[GnomeDePlume]

The only thing I remember from youngest's last day at primary school was the little mental happy jig that this meant the end of:

Easter bonnets
School fetes worse than death
Christmas fayres
World book day
Sports day
Parents evenings sat on chairs designed for reception aged children

[user1483387154]

you are coming across as batshit crazy tbh