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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children on Holiday

124 replies

BadgerBrush · 10/07/2019 15:20

I've just come back from holiday with my wife (no children). We spent a week in a quiet countryside retreat type thing, staying in a little self-catering hut. It seems the whole ethos of the place is just to relax and get back to nature. My intention of going there was to spend the week quietly reading on the decking, over looking the fields and forests. There's not really much else to do, and that was fine with me. Each little hut is placed a fair distance from each other, with bushes and trees in between, allowing for privacy. I think the place happily welcomes families, but to be honest, there's absolutely nothing for children to do here, unless they also enjoy a week's worth of reading and looking at the scenery.

However, for the whole week, there was a couple staying in the hut next to our's with a young child - I would say between 1 and 2 years old. The child, unfortunately, was a screamer. The whole time the family was in the hut, the child was screaming. Sometimes in distress, sometimes playfully, but the end result was always the same. I'm usually very tolerant of crying/ screaming children, and are quite sympathetic toward the parents. However, I couldn't help but be really annoyed with these parents. Why would they book a such a holiday when they had such a young child? I'm in no way annoyed at the - he couldn't help it, but the parents must have known what type of this was, and yet willingly allowed their child to encroach on everyone else's peacefulness.

AIBU to be so annoyed at these parents? AIBU to think they could have booked a more family (young child) friendly holiday, and not inflicted their screaming child on everyone else?

OP posts:
UnicornCat · 10/07/2019 15:28

YABU. They can book whatever holiday they want🤷

Blondiejay24 · 10/07/2019 15:29

Having a toddler myself I am conscious of the noise she can make. However at 1-2 years old children often go through phases. My daughter at the moment (nearly 3) is very stroppy and always wanting her own way, tantrums at everything. This is fairly new for me, as she’s been quite good for a while. We also went through a screaming phase.. so to be fair, they might have booked the holiday months ago, picturing a nice quiet week away, thinking.. middle of nowhere, we can roll out the activities etc enjoy the nature and it will be nice. Then the child starts a new phase which involves screaming and tantrums to their despair. Sadly there’s bugger all anyone can do about it. They’ve paid the same as you and have the same rights to be there. In truth they probably regretted going 😂 but not much you can do but make the best of things.

PurpleDaisies · 10/07/2019 15:29

Is it a child free site?

hormonesorDHbeingadick · 10/07/2019 15:32

Book a child free place next time.

Shoxfordian · 10/07/2019 15:32

Yanbu
Must have been really annoying

BadgerBrush · 10/07/2019 15:35

It's not a child free site, and sure they can book any holiday they want. But I think it's the same as booking a seat on the "quiet carriage" of a train when you have a noisy toddler.

Again, I don't mind screaming children in most circumstances. In fact, I get really annoyed with people who get angry at parents with screaming children when they're on an plane, or in a shop or something. Sometimes it's unavoidable. But this is a place designed for people to enjoy peace and quiet, and they've willingly brought along a child that is likely to disrupt peace and quiet. It just seems a bit inconsiderate for everyone else.

OP posts:
littlemeitslyn · 10/07/2019 15:36

Obviously not a child free site 🙄

PurpleDaisies · 10/07/2019 15:37

But I think it's the same as booking a seat on the "quiet carriage" of a train when you have a noisy toddler.

No it isn’t. Confused

BadgerBrush · 10/07/2019 15:37

Why not?

OP posts:
Pipandmum · 10/07/2019 15:40

A child of that age us t going to do much except be with and play with the parents. They probably thought the same: a nice quiet relaxing holiday. Believe me no one was more upset about their baby screaming than the couple themselves!

Blondiejay24 · 10/07/2019 15:40

I take it you don’t have kids? Hmm
I doubt you’ll get much sympathy on ‘mumsnet’ clues in the name 😂

MQv2 · 10/07/2019 15:44

"Why not?"

Because a requirement of a silent carriage is silence.
If they had bright these kids to a child free resort then that would be the same as your train carriage analogy.

This place has no such restrictions, you've decided that you had this subjective criteria for the place and expected others to follow

Angrybird123 · 10/07/2019 15:44

Because a quiet coach has an inbuilt expectation that everyone in it will comply. It would be v unreasonable for someone to book a toddler into a quiet coach since they cannot comply. Your holiday place was not a 'quiet, child free' environment so they were perfectly within their rights to book. 18 months is a tough age. Few places with activities etc would be worth the extra money as they'd be too young to enjoy it.

Benes · 10/07/2019 15:47

Unless it specifically states it's a child free or quiet site then YABU.

It's absolutely nothing like booking the quiet coach as that is a specifically designated quiet place.

InsertFunnyUsername · 10/07/2019 15:48

Meh no one likes a screaming child constantly especially for a week so YANBU on that.

YABU to think parents shouldn't take young children anywhere that isn't child free Smile and children that young are unreasonable anyway so the toddler could have been an angel right up until they turned up. Tis life.

Also the destination makes no difference, if it isn't child free then children are more than welcome to enjoy it too.

Blondiejay24 · 10/07/2019 15:49

If anything, they probably thought the location of open countryside and remote would be the perfect place for a noisy toddler.

PurpleDaisies · 10/07/2019 15:49

I take it you don’t have kids?

Don’t make that assumption. It’s lazy.

I don’t have children and think the op is being unreasonable.

BadgerBrush · 10/07/2019 15:50

But the quiet coach isn't explicitly child- free. It IS an in-built expectation that you wouldn't take a toddler onto it, because are expecting peace and quiet.

Well, in the same way, this little retreat markets itself as a place for peace and quiet. It's not just my personal expectations.

OP posts:
ZillaPilla · 10/07/2019 15:50

YANBU, but not because of what you were expecting, but just because any one taking a small child where there are other people should show some courtesy to their fellow guests.

A little bit of baby noise maybe, but you say it was for the whole time they were in their hut. That would annoy me too.

BellatrixLestat · 10/07/2019 15:52

YANBU to be annoyed by it.

YABU to dictate where parents can take children on holiday because they don't fit in with your expectations of the place (unless adults only, which in this case, it is not)

Benes · 10/07/2019 15:52

It's exactly the sort of place I'd take my nature loving outdoorsy 4 year old.

Livebythecoast · 10/07/2019 15:55

You're quite right that obviously they're entitled to book that kind of holiday.
Have a teenager now but when she was that age up to about 11 or so we took her to haven type holidays, lots of activities, kids their own age etc but each to their own as they say.
OP, my childless friends book warner leisure adult only holidays - guaranteed no kids Grin

ScreamingValenta · 10/07/2019 15:55

It would have annoyed me too, but I think YABU. I say this as a childfree person. Unless the site is specifically adults only, the parents have done nothing wrong.

ScreamingValenta · 10/07/2019 15:57

this little retreat markets itself as a place for peace and quiet

Then the owners need to say 'no children under 12' (or whatever age children can generally be relied upon to enjoy themselves peacefully).

Goldenhedgehogs · 10/07/2019 15:59

The quiet coach on a train is a red herring. Unfortunately although you can book on the quiet coach you can't book on a standard coach. Many times travelling with my 3 under 4 kids my heart and probably all the other passengers heart sank when my reserved seats were allocated in the quiet coach despite not booking them. I have done a lot of travelling with the kids on trains and this does happen.

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