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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Children on Holiday

124 replies

BadgerBrush · 10/07/2019 15:20

I've just come back from holiday with my wife (no children). We spent a week in a quiet countryside retreat type thing, staying in a little self-catering hut. It seems the whole ethos of the place is just to relax and get back to nature. My intention of going there was to spend the week quietly reading on the decking, over looking the fields and forests. There's not really much else to do, and that was fine with me. Each little hut is placed a fair distance from each other, with bushes and trees in between, allowing for privacy. I think the place happily welcomes families, but to be honest, there's absolutely nothing for children to do here, unless they also enjoy a week's worth of reading and looking at the scenery.

However, for the whole week, there was a couple staying in the hut next to our's with a young child - I would say between 1 and 2 years old. The child, unfortunately, was a screamer. The whole time the family was in the hut, the child was screaming. Sometimes in distress, sometimes playfully, but the end result was always the same. I'm usually very tolerant of crying/ screaming children, and are quite sympathetic toward the parents. However, I couldn't help but be really annoyed with these parents. Why would they book a such a holiday when they had such a young child? I'm in no way annoyed at the - he couldn't help it, but the parents must have known what type of this was, and yet willingly allowed their child to encroach on everyone else's peacefulness.

AIBU to be so annoyed at these parents? AIBU to think they could have booked a more family (young child) friendly holiday, and not inflicted their screaming child on everyone else?

OP posts:

Ephellova · 10/07/2019 16:54

you have my sympathy

I live next door to a screaming toddler and I'm actually thankful I work full time. I know that it's not the child's fault, nor the parents, but this toddler (she's 3) screams blue murder every weekend from 7am onwards. When they go on holiday, I celebrate and believe me, if I went on holiday and had a persistently screaming child next door to me, I'd probably cry!

Sleepyblueocean · 10/07/2019 16:56

My child with autism needs quiet places but can be loud and sometimes shriek. We now only book cottages that are by themselves because he can't deal with the noise of others.

Dippypippy1980 · 10/07/2019 16:57

Totally agree.

We have just returned from a holiday at a family resort. The restaurant had a quiet area. Aimed at families with older children and parties with no children.

People with very loud screamers, or with babies who were plonked in front of blaring iPads seemed to think it was okay to disturb e eryones evening.

One couple even had a conversation with each other at the top of their lungs over the heads of about four tables.

I expect noise at a family resort - but I have been shocked that children are allowed To run riot with no parental correction. Who lets their child bang a toy if a table in a restaurant for twenty minutes solid!!!!

floribunda18 · 10/07/2019 16:59

Quiet coach means no noisy devices and phone calls, not no children. People are supposed to be generally quiet in there, but as other posters have pointed out, parents with small children do sometimes get booked into them unwittingly.

With regard to the holiday, it's really bad luck, OP. It must have been very annoying. Did you feel you could say anything to the parents at the time? Perhaps they thought being at such a quiet place that it would calm their toddler down, and that they might get some peace themselves. Toddlers can pretty much be anywhere and don't need a place with entertainment for children, so I don't think the parents were BU to book there.

I think I would have asked if I could move while I was there. I would just contact the company with your feedback anyway.

Sleepyblueocean · 10/07/2019 17:01

"At 18 months? absolutely not."

For some children at 18 months absolutely yes. It's also true for one 18 year old that I know.

dustarr73 · 10/07/2019 17:02

Nothing worse than other peoples kids.I think you are getting a hard time here,

If the place is marketed as being peaceful and quiet.It should be peaceful and quiet.

I would complain to the owner and leave a trip adviser review,Warn other people about it.

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 10/07/2019 17:05

For some children at 18 months absolutely yes. It's also true for one 18 year old that I know.

then you take them inside, or you plan for the people who will be around you. You don't book a quiet retreat when you know you won't be quiet if you intend to spend all day there.

beckywiththecraphair · 10/07/2019 17:07

I honestly don't understand why they'd take a child there either, unless that was totally out of character for the child and they were screaming because they were out of sorts? I love my kids to death but the sound of a screaming child makes me want to chop my ears off so I think YANBU. There are lots of holiday resorts and campsites full of kids where one more noisy one wouldn't make a difference - if this was supposed to be a quiet rural retreat then they really shouldn't have brought a young baby if they knew this could happen. Unless, as I said, that this is not the norm for the child and they don't usually produce as much noise

Meowington · 10/07/2019 17:08

I always book a child free place if possible. I chose not to have children so I didn’t have to deal with them so it’s soul destroying finding out you’re near noisy (or any) kids when you’re meant to be relaxing.

LakieLady · 10/07/2019 17:08

I agree that if they're marketing the place as peaceful, there needs to be a minimum age for children.

But what do people think about taking babies and toddlers to campsites where the rules are for quiet between certain hours, eg 11pm-7am? I think that (unless you're very lucky) there's no way you can comply with that rule if you have a baby.

Being kept awake night after night on a few holidays is one of the reasons we gave up tent camping and bought a motorhome.

Sleepyblueocean · 10/07/2019 17:08

No you book somewhere adult only and you hope the 18 year old won't be there.

MeadowHay · 10/07/2019 17:09

I haven't RTFT yet, but all the sanctimonious posters going on about teaching the child better are boiling my blood. You clearly have no idea how distressing it can be as a parent to have a young child who appears distressed much of the time and screams so much. DD is 1 and is a screamer. Months and months ago I naively thought she'd have grown out of it by now, but nope. I don't think by the time she is 18 months-2 she is suddenly going to grow out of it completely especially since the HV said at her development review that her communication is already a bit behind. We try our absolute best with her, I have bought the speech pack from the speech charity and play the games with her to encourage language development, and we try our best to distract/comfort her etc but many times nothing works at all. She has been repeatedly been checked by HCPs as even some of them are/were concerned that there is something health-related going on, but apart from possible asthma nothing else has been flagged up. You people clearly have no experience of a child like this so don't talk about what you don't know anything about.

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 10/07/2019 17:12

DD is 1 and is a screamer. Months and months ago I naively thought she'd have grown out of it by now, but nope.

then you wouldn't book a holiday in a quiet retreat, would you.

BestestBrownies · 10/07/2019 17:15

Knock on their door with a roll of duct tape?

MeadowHay · 10/07/2019 17:15

No. But there are people on here who have explicitly made statements calling parents of screamers "lazy parents" as one PP did earlier. Not sure what those comments have got to do with booking this type of holiday, they were making comments about peoples parenting in general, which I have responded to.

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 10/07/2019 17:16

But what do people think about taking babies and toddlers to campsites where the rules are for quiet between certain hours

how would you feel if your toddler is kept awake because of the screaming baby next door?

I wouldn't take my kids to a place where they would disturb everybody - it makes it harder for me anyway, so what's the point? You can't plan for a one-off, or an unwell baby of course, but if you know they would be a problem, why going in the first place?
There are a lot of other holiday options.

Blondiejay24 · 10/07/2019 17:17

@meadowHay totally agree. Seen a close friend go through the same. I find it so rude some of the posts about how they can all be trained out of it and it’s lazy parenting. So disrespectful.

lazylinguist · 10/07/2019 17:17

My point is, if you have a baby/ toddler (who is prone to a bit of screaming), why would you take them to a place that sells itself on peace and quiet?

Because gazillions of rural holiday places would class themselves as somewhere to get a bit of peace and quiet on the grounds of their location, not on the basis of the guaranteed quietness of their clientele, and people with children are just as likely to want somewhere that's 'away from it all' if they live in a town or city.

So maybe you read 'peace and quiet' as no disturbances or noisy children and they read it as 'no traffic noises, carousing pub-goers or entertainments' rather than 'unsuitable for your small children'.

Bandara · 10/07/2019 17:17

Obviously they can book wherever they want. But I can empathise - its luck if the draw when you go on holiday wherever you are next to a screaming child or not. I was recently on a long flight with a nuclear level screaming child right behind me. He screamed the whole eight hours. I honestly thought I was going to lose my mind

JingsMahBucket · 10/07/2019 17:18

YANBU. There seem to be a lot of parents with screamers commenting on the thread. If your child is a screamer then don't book a quiet retreat holiday where s/he will disturb others. That's horribly inconsiderate!

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 10/07/2019 17:19

here are people on here who have explicitly made statements calling parents of screamers "lazy parents

which they are. If you book a holiday in a quiet retreat, and let your child scream and disturb the neighbourhood, then you are in the wrong. Either remove them, close the window or book something more suitable.

Don't let them scream in the garden for everybody else to enjoy. They won't.

Blondiejay24 · 10/07/2019 17:24

Yeah I agree, you don’t book a quiet retreat. Fair enough.

The managers also shouldn’t put a couple with a young toddler next to a childless couple either. They are the inconsiderate ones.

If it’s marketed for all then you will get all manner of people wanting ‘peace and quiet’. They might assume they will be in the middle of nowhere, not in spitting distance of the next hut/holiday home.

Twotome · 10/07/2019 17:26

Haven’t read the replies but you really need to book adults only in future, if that is what you are looking for.

Disfordarkchocolate · 10/07/2019 17:37

I've seen lots of lovely places that allow children only if they are over a certain age or no children at all. If you want a holiday with no children then pick on of these, mind you they could then be full of annoying adults.

floribunda18 · 10/07/2019 17:39

I don't know why people are talking about camping in tents, this was a self-catering hut. I couldn't think of a more hellish holiday than camping with a toddler, so we avoided camping at all until DDs were older.

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