Children on Holiday

[BadgerBrush]

I've just come back from holiday with my wife (no children). We spent a week in a quiet countryside retreat type thing, staying in a little self-catering hut. It seems the whole ethos of the place is just to relax and get back to nature. My intention of going there was to spend the week quietly reading on the decking, over looking the fields and forests. There's not really much else to do, and that was fine with me. Each little hut is placed a fair distance from each other, with bushes and trees in between, allowing for privacy. I think the place happily welcomes families, but to be honest, there's absolutely nothing for children to do here, unless they also enjoy a week's worth of reading and looking at the scenery.

However, for the whole week, there was a couple staying in the hut next to our's with a young child - I would say between 1 and 2 years old. The child, unfortunately, was a screamer. The whole time the family was in the hut, the child was screaming. Sometimes in distress, sometimes playfully, but the end result was always the same. I'm usually very tolerant of crying/ screaming children, and are quite sympathetic toward the parents. However, I couldn't help but be really annoyed with these parents. Why would they book a such a holiday when they had such a young child? I'm in no way annoyed at the - he couldn't help it, but the parents must have known what type of this was, and yet willingly allowed their child to encroach on everyone else's peacefulness.

AIBU to be so annoyed at these parents? AIBU to think they could have booked a more family (young child) friendly holiday, and not inflicted their screaming child on everyone else?

When mine were babies/ toddlers we booked places where children's noise could reasonably be anticipated such as Haven and weren't on top of neighbours in quiet environments. We had a single night in a hotel to break up a journey when DS was 8m and he had a horrible night so we ended up loading him into the pram and going for a walk in the early hours; we weren't sleeping anyway, but we didn't want to risk disturbing everyone else in the vincinity.

I couldn't enjoy a holiday somewhere with the expectation of peace and quiet if I was constantly on tenterhooks about managing a baby/ toddler, it's tough enough anyway! As they've got older and more reasonable and reliable, we've extended what we're prepared to do.

I remember a ruckus on a campsite years ago after a very prolonged bout of crying through the night. Someone else shouted out a not-very-polite comment in their frustration, but there hadn't been the sounds of much effort to console the baby or at least move them to a less disruptive place such as the car or off for a walk. Evidence that the parents are making what effort they can to remedy the situatuon does console to some extent.

YANBU

A 1-2 year old needs absolutely nothing more than playing with their parents all day- from the parents perspective it sounds perfect. We did tent and yurt camping with our first at that age.
The screaming all day is a bit unusual and really that sounds like the problem.

It’s called a childfree hotel/cottage/site, you’re welcome.

I have a nearly 2 year old and a 3 year old, at aged 2 and even now with a 3 year old we book where we’d (the adults) would like to go, they are just young enough to not need butlins or some other crap. Right now we are on holiday camping in Europe on a campsite with mainly couples, it’s lovely and peaceful, very quiet. We probably do disturb the peace of others a few times a day, luckily most of the people on here are older and have probably had young children once upon a time so they seem to have sympathy with us rather than getting annoyed.

We don’t want to go to butlins just yet so we’ll carry on booking where we’d like to go for now. There are plenty of childfree places to relax in besides.

Maybe the baby was teething or poorly and they didn't bring Calpol.

Did you ask the owners if you could swap to another lodge further away?

We had the best holiday with a baby and toddler an apartment on a working farm in middle of nowhere in Wales. There were no other guests and we were some way from the farmhouse. The sheep were unbothered. The weather was 24 every day fluke heatwave. Was the best holiday possible with babies that age. Keep reading in our local fb about families camping with babies. Uttter insanity.

You are being unreasonable. The parents couldn't help their child crying, if they could have stopped it, they would. When they booked they probably thought the child would have outgrown that stage or maybe hadn't reached it.

I don't think a crying child would completely ruin your holiday. If you went to a Spanish resort, one where the Spanish themselves go for holidays, or Portugese, you'd have kids screaming, laughing, dancing and running about until all hours of the night! Nobody thinks anything of it or put their kids to bed early so parents can have 'adult time', they don't understand people who do!

The place you describe sounds idyllic. I'd love to know where it is, we are looking for somewhere restful and picturesque to go for a break in September.

Don't blame you OP .

There is a screamer a few gardens away Put up with it last year, somehow. Thought this year, oh she is a year older so perhaps won't scream . Wrong !! Its down to the parents to stop this, as somebody further up the thread put .
They are not large gardens here either . 2 lovely parks in walking distance though but do they ever take them there ? No. Selfish and inconsiderate people.

If you went to a Spanish resort, one where the Spanish themselves go for holidays, or Portugese, you'd have kids screaming, laughing, dancing and running about until all hours of the night! Nobody thinks anything of it or put their kids to bed early so parents can have 'adult time', they don't understand people who do!

Well those Spanish resorts aren't marketed as being peaceful and quiet are they

We probably do disturb the peace of others a few times a day, luckily most of the people on here are older and have probably had young children once upon a time

How can you possibly know whether they are annoyed or not? They could easily just be polite people. I guess the difference between you and I is that I would feel guilty/bothered about disturbing someone else's peace when I could choose not to.

I guess you don't give a fuck about disturbing other people on holiday where it is supposed to be quiet and peaceful, I think some would consider that quite inconsiderate, selfish and a bit weird to acknowledge that you are disturbing other people and still do it because apparently these people have probably had children

I think if you're the ones that are bothered, the onus is on you to find a holiday where you won't be bothered. If they welcome families, they welcome families. You need to stop making assumptions about what children "should" be interested in and do.

YANBU for finding that annoying. I'd have been annoyed, too. If the retreat is billed as a place for quiet solitude in natural surroundings, it seems a strange choice for a family with a loud young child.

Of course they have a right to be there, if children are allowed, but it does seem selfish to inflict noise in a place where other people will have gone specifically for the peace and quiet. It also doesn't seem like they'd enjoy the experience themselves that much and could probably have found a place with better entertainment and recreational opportunities, for the benefit of the whole family.

f you went to a Spanish resort, one where the Spanish themselves go for holidays, or Portugese, you'd have kids screaming, laughing, dancing and running about until all hours of the night!

they live much later than we do here, true, but it's a bit of a stretch to pretend all Spanish kids are badly behaved! Even Spanish children manage not to scream and shout all night, even at weddings or parties.

You won't like it, but it's Brit kids who have a terrible reputation and are thought as running wild and having no manners.

We probably do disturb the peace of others a few times a day, luckily most of the people on here are older and have probably had young children once upon a time

Thats an awful attitude to have.You go somewhere quiet and inflict your kids on people who just want peace and quiet.I wouldnt be polite to you if your child was annoying me.

A self catering rural hut sounds like a pretty normal place for families to holiday, so YABU. Book a child free place if you don't want to see children!

I would be irritated if they weren't trying to quiet their dc though.

I’ll reserve judgement after we take our (to be) 16 month old away to our timeshare in Lanzarote next year.

We did take her to a similar site to where the OP has mentioned last month when she was 7 weeks and we did get loads of eye rolls when we turned up and she did cry a bit at night but only for a couple of minutes at a time until I could cuddle/feed her.

YANBU about not wanting to hear constant screaming on holiday.

I'm reading this on the last morning of my holiday. Sitting on a lovely peaceful patio in the sun overlooking the countryside. A screaming child would ruin ylthis so I feel your pain. I think it is up to parents to consider how their child impacts on others. Some are better than others at this unfortunately. I'd recommend a child free site next time.

Your mistake was in assuming there would be no children there, you should’ve booked a specific child free resort.

YABU.

I should also have said we were in a properly constructed house on our recently holiday not a building where sound can travel though easily.

I remember my parents taking my brother and I camping for the weekend at 1 and 2 years old. We didn’t cry but kept winding each other up and giggling during the evening so we packed up and went home. I’m not sure what our parents thought would happen.

Of course this would be a pain in the arse. But you won't find much sympathy here, most parents probably have young noisy kids too.
Learn from it and book something child free next time.

@BadgerBrush I would suggest if you are unhapppy about this that you get in touch with the holiday provider and tell them you think they should have an age limit or adult only weeks. Coming onto Mumsnet to talk about it seems like you are looking for an argument. Some parents feel guilty enough as it is and dont need anymore judgement.

dustarr73 Thu 11-Jul-19 07:49:41
Thats an awful attitude to have.You go somewhere quiet and inflict your kids on people who just want peace and quiet.I wouldnt be polite to you if your child was annoying me.

Me: You can't always stop children making noise, especially crying babies. When they're a bit older you can 'shush' them but that doesn't always work for long if they are playing and excited.

Tht25cUKheatwaveo : they live much later than we do here, true, but it's a bit of a stretch to pretend all Spanish kids are badly behaved!

I didn't say they were badly behaved, just that you hear them playing noisily in the evening whereas over here, that sort of thing generally happens during the day (school holidays are the exception, kids often play in the back garden until late). I don't consider it to be bad behaviour, it's natural and, as you say, they 'live later' there than here, have a sleep in the afternoon.

I approve of children staying up with their parents, mine always did and enjoyed doing various things. I never felt that evenings were strictly for adults. However I often came in for criticism from our parents who put us to bed early and expected us to sleep.

I used to lie awake, sometimes reading or just thinking about all sorts of things, until I heard my parents coming up to bed. I'd have been far better off staying downstairs playing with toys, reading, drawing and making things until I was tired.

yubu. If you wanted peace and quiet book a childfree destination!

jeez.

Am sympathetic to op though.

Apparently dh was so awful and screamy as a toddler my in laws left a holiday early as didn’t want to disturb other holiday makers which was pretty decent of them

When Are you my neighbour? I mean, I take DD to the park loads (although where I live the weather is often rainy, even recently, so often can't) and she is out the house in childcare most of Mon-Thurs every week. But please oh wise one, what should I be doing to make her stop screaming? As I've already followed all the advice from a multitude of HCPs, friends, family members, online research, and nothing has worked, I am keen to know what special expertise you have in this area? Because no matter how annoying the screaming is for you, I can guarantee it is far more distressing for the child's parents. I was crying earlier today whilst I dried and changed my DD into clean clothes and nappy after a bath, because it was 11.30am and about the 6 bout of hysterics which just overwhelmed me.