Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children on Holiday

124 replies

BadgerBrush · 10/07/2019 15:20

I've just come back from holiday with my wife (no children). We spent a week in a quiet countryside retreat type thing, staying in a little self-catering hut. It seems the whole ethos of the place is just to relax and get back to nature. My intention of going there was to spend the week quietly reading on the decking, over looking the fields and forests. There's not really much else to do, and that was fine with me. Each little hut is placed a fair distance from each other, with bushes and trees in between, allowing for privacy. I think the place happily welcomes families, but to be honest, there's absolutely nothing for children to do here, unless they also enjoy a week's worth of reading and looking at the scenery.

However, for the whole week, there was a couple staying in the hut next to our's with a young child - I would say between 1 and 2 years old. The child, unfortunately, was a screamer. The whole time the family was in the hut, the child was screaming. Sometimes in distress, sometimes playfully, but the end result was always the same. I'm usually very tolerant of crying/ screaming children, and are quite sympathetic toward the parents. However, I couldn't help but be really annoyed with these parents. Why would they book a such a holiday when they had such a young child? I'm in no way annoyed at the - he couldn't help it, but the parents must have known what type of this was, and yet willingly allowed their child to encroach on everyone else's peacefulness.

AIBU to be so annoyed at these parents? AIBU to think they could have booked a more family (young child) friendly holiday, and not inflicted their screaming child on everyone else?

OP posts:
regmover · 10/07/2019 16:23

Well, I get where you're coming from. Maybe the child wouldn't have screamed so much if there was more to do/tire themselves out doing.

I've recently returned from a break in a lodge overlooking a big, deep lake. (Which you might think would discourage parents of young children). When we got there the lodges were much closer together than they looked in the photos and luckily the noisy small children didn't arrive until the day before we left. But if they had I can easily see how they could have spoiled the peace and tranquility as advertised.

Sunfull · 10/07/2019 16:24

I think it is annoying if the place was specifically marketed as a peaceful getaway. You mention the word 'retreat; as well - is it marketed as such?

Because, if so, I'd think they ought to allow young children there.

makingmammaries · 10/07/2019 16:24

YANBU. It is normal for children to scream, but not normal for their parents to leave them to it for lengthy periods if other people are close by. Lazy parenting, and quite rude in my opinion. And no, I’m not childless; far from it.

Blondiejay24 · 10/07/2019 16:24

Since when did anyone mention a child screaming for hours on end?

How is a child screaming being about being a lazy parent either? That child may have been ill. The parents may have tried everything to try and calm them. We do not know. All we know is the OP’s account of the story and it being disruptive.

Granted a child screaming is annoying, but If you don’t want to be around kids, you book a child free holiday.

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 10/07/2019 16:26

How do you know they “let” the child scream?
if everybody around can him, clearly they are .

I could be screaming at the top of my lungs in my house, it wouldn't disturb the neighbours. If my kids start screaming in the garden or in front of an open window, they would be a bother - so I don't let them. 🤷

If someone else is disturbed repeatedly by a child, there's a problem.

Sleepyblueocean · 10/07/2019 16:29

Do you think they should put a gag on him them?
When mine is having a meltdown nothing is going to stop the shrieking and the shrieking is the least of my worries

Booboostwo · 10/07/2019 16:29

Your beef is with the retreat’s owners. You shouldn’t market your holiday retreat as peaceful and calm and, at the same time, welcome families with very young children. Vote with your feet and go to an adults only resort next time.

verticality · 10/07/2019 16:29

YANBU - I would raise it with the place that allowed a toddler to be booked in, though, rather than with the parents. If they want a peace and quiet policy, they need to have it adult only (or at least over 12s only)

ilovesprouts · 10/07/2019 16:30

I'm glad you domt live nxt to my son often has meltdowns etc I'm sure the whole street can here him sometimes Hmm

letsghostdance · 10/07/2019 16:31

I would be devastated if I went on holiday and was next to a screaming child. You have my sympathy!

BadgerBrush · 10/07/2019 16:32

Hmm, okay, I agree that we should have booked a child-free place, and it's something that I'll take into consideration for next time. I think I'm just a bit grumpy because I live in noisy London, and whenever we go away on holiday, we always seem to end up with noisy neighbours. I thought booking a place that promised peace and quiet was a safe bet, but I've learnt a lesson.

Just to clarify a few things - no, I don't have children, but I worked as a pre-school manager for a few years, so am pretty comfortable/ experienced around children. It's not the child I have a problem with, and I completely disagree with PPs saying that the parents need to learn to control their child. The child is at an age when screaming/ crying is the only way they have of communicating, and there is no reasoning with him. I do not blame the child for being a child.

Likewise, I don't mind there being children on the site. In fact, there are several, from about aged 4 upwards. Sure, they make some noise, and that's fine. They're children, enjoying themselves. But I think there's a big difference between a four year shouting and playing, and a baby/ toddler screaming. For one, the parents of the four year old can (and do) ask the child to quieten down a little, out of respect of everyone else. Isn't it just common courtesy? But you can't ask an 18 month to be quiet.

OP posts:
Pineapplefish · 10/07/2019 16:32

I agree that it might be worth giving this feedback to the retreat's owners.

Alloftheboys · 10/07/2019 16:34

@BadgerBrush why didn’t you turn on the voting? 😉

AlexaAmbidextra · 10/07/2019 16:35

YANBU OP. No need for a child to scream incessantly. Too many people inflict their kids on others and don’t give a shit who they’re disturbing.

regmover · 10/07/2019 16:38

"why didn't you turn on the voting?" - is it a new law that we have to vote now? Can't we open a thread just to discuss?

Blondiejay24 · 10/07/2019 16:38

@BadgerBrush I think you make a lot of sense there.

As you mentioned it’s difficult to reason with a young toddler who is too little to fully understand.

I think it’s wrong as well to market somewhere as being ‘peaceful and quiet’ and then allow bookings from families. It’s unfair for those who are just after peace. So i don’t think it is the parents at fault. They probably think they are not doing anything wrong. It is the managers of the site who aren’t bothered so long as they fill the cabins and not considering their target audience.

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 10/07/2019 16:40

I have kids, so I can't book a child-free holiday.

I would still be really annoyed if a screaming child was disturbing my own. If I go to a place advertised as quiet, I want quiet and have my kids left to sleep in peace - and us to enjoy ourselves.

A constantly screaming child is a bother for absolutely everyone.

TheCatThatDanced · 10/07/2019 16:41

Babies and toddlers scream OP - having said that - put a complaint in to the owners of the cottages and see where that gets you. The parents probably don't like the screams any more than you do.

The 2.5 (3 in September) toddler living next door to me is a screamer and when he screams nothing on earth will stop him. His parents do try but he's just a screamer prone to awful meltdowns. His DGM (his DM's DM) despairs of him (she childminded his older siblings but not him when they were younger).

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 10/07/2019 16:43

The child is at an age when screaming/ crying is the only way they have of communicating, and there is no reasoning with him.

at 4 months old? yes, that's true.
At 18 months? absolutely not.

You would still take the baby away to stop them disturbing others. Parents manage!

rookiemere · 10/07/2019 16:43

No I get you OP and you're entitled to a bit of peace and quiet on holiday. Sadly I think just because people are allowed to take DCs everywhere these days then they don't exercise discretion if it's a good idea or not or how it will impact others. I can say this as I have a DC Smile.

On holiday two recently two attractions were somewhat spoilt for us by screaming babies. The first was a boatride to see glow worms where we were told to be totally quiet to see the most. Small baby in dark boat predictably starts crying and our 5 minute (pricey) magic experience turned into the tour guide trying to sooth the baby and listening to the noise whilst not seeing very many glow worms. I did mention in my trip advisor review that an age limit might be appropriate but got a flannely response.

Second instance was a very expensive seaplane trip that we had ummed and awwed about. Baby crying meant we couldn't hear any of the commentary. Doubly annoying was fact that baby was free due to age and family nabbed the best front seats on the way back ( thankfully baby asleep then)

plasterboots · 10/07/2019 16:43

You're only option is child free, as others have said children go through phases and the parents may not have anticipated this one.

BadgerBrush · 10/07/2019 16:46

@TheCatThatDanced Yeah, I get that babies and toddlers scream. Trust me, I do. If I lived next door to a screamer, it wouldn't bother me (maybe just a little).

My point is, if you have a baby/ toddler (who is prone to a bit of screaming), why would you take them to a place that sells itself on peace and quiet? Surely you would be aware that you were potentially going to be the ones that break that peace and quiet?

OP posts:
Blondiejay24 · 10/07/2019 16:47

@TheCatThatDanced I agree with you. My 2.5 yo can be stroppy. Not really a screamer but a shouter and very bossy. I have tried it all, but she is so stubborn. I find it embarrassing if we’re out or in the garden. Equally I don’t want to be one of those parents screaming back. So I try and reason with her and promote good behaviour. It’s difficult. We go to a ballet group and there is a screamer there. I feel for the mother, I really do. You can see it in her face that she is doing her best. But I can see her DD is at an age where she can’t speak yet and so she vents her frustration by screaming. It’s easy to cast judgement on other parents. But all children are different and we aren’t all perfect parents. Blush

Livebythecoast · 10/07/2019 16:48

@BadgerBrush. I think you made it clear from your posts that of course you weren't blaming the child. You (naively perhaps?) thought that this type of holiday wouldn't appeal to a family with a toddler. I agree with the others about contacting the company and suggest they either reword their 'quiet, retreat etc' or say no children under x age.

RatherBeRiding · 10/07/2019 16:49

Definitely book an adult's only place next time. I am a parent but whenever myself and DP go camping we ALWAYS book adults only places - I want peace and quiet, not other people's noisy children.

Shame your holiday was ruined but it's a mistake you can avoid next time!