To ask out the headmaster?

[brotown]

Ds has a week left in the school.
No idea if he's got a girlfriend
I dreamt about him and can't stop thinking about him.

Wow so many fearful people in here.

Yes rejection is possible but you only get one life....and it's not a rehearsal. So what if it hurts in the end....nothing ventured nothing gained

So what if it hurts in the end? Well given the OP has been through the loss of her husband I think her safeguarding her feelings is pretty paramount actually not to mention not putting the headmaster in a potentially embarrassing position. As I said earlier if he was already interested in the OP I guess he would have made this known to her. It’s easy for strangers on the internet to say go for it because they want a bit of gossip, it’s not their feelings at stake here.

Go for it! Life is too short. The worst thing that can happen is nothing comes of it, the best ... Sky is the limit.

I think it would be a good experience for you either way it that makes sense? It's something you want to do and I think you should, what happens after that is in fates hands.

It doesn't sound like you plan to be 'cringy' or inappropriate in any way. Let us know what happens and good luck!

I second the idea of popping a note in with the card. "Thanks for all your support for DS. If you ever fancy a drink, my number is XXXX". That's not going to embarrass anyone, is it?

Nosauce it doesn't sound like the OP is super invested.

Also in terms of him not having shown interest, as the op said she knows that and just wants to let him know she is. Not all relationships start with love at first sight ...

Fearful? Hardly. Asking out your son’s headmaster when you have no idea whether he’s in a relationship or not, and there’s no way to do so off school premises is not something most people would do without a lot of thought.
It’s a horrifically cringy thing to do.

I would do some more reconnaissance first.

But also stunned at the number of people who wouldn't do it because of the potential risk of embarrassment!

I honestly think if you can’t even get him into the position where you can casually ask what his plans for the summer are then there’s no way to judge whether you can ask him out.
Proceed with caution op xxx

Potentially embarrassing yourself is fine but not when it’s the headmaster of your sons school. I can’t believe how blasé people are being about this. It is cringeworthy in the extreme.

Been off mumsnet for a while as just returned from holiday. Could someone please link the postie thread mentioned earlier?

I fancy the postie! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3625173-I-fancy-the-postie

I have no problem with women asking men out.

To me this breaches boundaries though and I can't imagine he would accept.

In fact what @NoSauce said.

I'd drop a card in on friday with your number and asking he would like to go out on a date. Keep it simple and explicit. No mention of kids or the like.

No mention of kids or the like. Are you serious?!

What exactly makes this worse @NoSauce? Is it embarrassing her son or something else?

God no. Boundaries are there for a reason.

It’s on school premises. It’s as inappropriate as following some random off the street and into their office to ask them out. Quite creepy, in fact.

@Headintheclouds

No it isn’t 🙄

This is someone OP has had friendly chats with for a while. She’s not stalking him FFS

Well, her and the other - 500? parents. He doesn’t know her any better than any of the others, she’s hardly the only one he speaks to

I don’t think I would, personally, and I’m not sure it would reflect well on him if he did agree to it. I have a massive crush on the person who leads one of my daughter’s extra-curricular activities (as does pretty much any person who comes into contact with him, by what I’ve seen from the adult version of the activity 🤣). I was at a social event with this person recently and was nervous as hell. But I recognise it as a crush and how inappropriate it would be to try to be involved with someone who has responsibility for any part of my child’s education. Sorry, that’s a massive downer, but there have to be boundaries. It’s gutting on my part as I have been single for five years and hardly ever find myself attracted to anyone, so it’s annoying that it’s someone I couldn’t approach in that way 🤣

The key thing is they know each other and he’s not going to be her son’s headmaster anymore. That’s it. To suggest she’s a random is wrong.

I think a lot of people haven't RTFT!

AS OF NEXT WEEK OP WILL NEVER SEE THIS MAN AGAIN, HE WILL NO LONGER BE THE HEADTEACHER OF HER SON.

I think a note in a card on the last day won't embarrass anyone. If he isn't interested/can't allow himself to be interested/has a girlfriend then he can bin the note. If he's interested he can text. OP will never see him again anyway, unless he decides to message her to meet up.

I have rtft. It doesn’t matter that the OP won’t see him after next week, she’s still potentially going to put him in a very awkward situation by asking him out.

Oh FFS people are seriously clutching their pearls over this?!

AFTER THIS WEEK SHE WILL NEVER HAVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN. HE WILL NOT BE HER SONS HEADTEACHER ANYMORE.

@NoSauce Maybe he hasn't given any inclination he likes the op as he has to remain a professional as it is HIS place of work. It would be much more inappropriate if he made advances towards a pupils parent.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the OP stating her interest in him especially since her son is leaving the school. She's hardly going to sneak into his office in a trench coat with nothing underneath in an attempt to seduce him!

OP ask him out. Leave a note or whatever makes you feel more comfortable and ignore the pearl clutching prudes. Life is too short.